Being Pushed To Change From Maiden To Married Name

I was asked to get my name changed. My MIL not only wanted to get my last name changed, but she also wanted to change my first name. It's like she wanted to remove all traces of my past life. She even asked DH to speak to me about it. So when he suggested, I said - I will change my first name if you too change your's. Of course that was not to happen. So I got to keep my first name. The last name - that did change. I was not happy, because my last name was my father's name, but accepted it as a universal rule. Now I guess, I have other things to worry about so not thinking about it anymore. But I digress....

Eventually these will become non issues. Pick your battles. If this is not an important one, let it go. As far as the procedure is concerned, tell him ... if you want m name changed, you do the research, you get the documents, I will sign the papers. If this issue is that important to him, let him do the work, why should you waste your time?

 

That is the right attitude. He cannot just demand and expect you to do the dirty work. if he wants something, he must be willing to work. Tell him, XYZ is your work. ABC is mine. IF he asks, tell him that was your job, why are you asking me?

 

I refused outright. I have appended my husband's name to my full name on email and social media sites. I just dismissed the idea saying it is ridiculous to spend time and effort on something as trivial. All documents are in my maiden name.

If you don't mind getting it changed get your IL to find a lawyer to do the work. Similarly get your husband to get a lawyer to do the work in the US.

 

I completely agree with guesshoo. Push the paperwork and some of the headache onto them. Its their idea and requirement anyway. With a smile say "I respect your wish dear. Now make all arrangements for it. Love you..."
My last name is my dad's first name and i'll never ever change/remove it. If it was my family name i wouldn't feel so strong about it.

 

If they want to do it because of investments THEN DO IT.
Name is small part of identity.Your thoughts ,your beliefs,attitude makes bigger part personality.
I changed my first name after marriage and i took it as a opportunity to choose my favorite name.
If you are going to do it then do it without fighting.
Choose battle.Dont appose everything.If you want greater co operation from IL throughout life then learn what to give up and what not to.

 

Name is only small part of one's identity. But being coerced into changing it is not a good thing imo. Husband showing anger without participating in the process is weird to say the least.

And what's this thing about investment? If it is done using yours or your husband's, money it needs to be in your or joint name by default. If it is inlaw's money its their wish. They can do it irrespective of your last name or not.

 

There is no law that investments can't be made in a woman's maiden name.f they really want to invest,the name should not come in the way.

When I got married two decades back.....it was considered normal. I did not have a driving license ,pan card,passport,adhar card or even voter's card.We just got the name changed. We had to submit an affidavit to get the name on the passport when I got it made 10 years back.

My daughter has all these on her name. All the younger working women in our family have kept their maiden names on official documents. People don't mind being called Mrs so and so.