Bedroom Scene

Kamalji · Oct 17, 2007

Bedroom Scene

This is not about what u think.Read on

Well i was a casual drinker before marriage,and a non smoker.After marriage, i became a regular smoker and a daily drinker of whiskey.We had shifted to Jaipur a few months after marriage,with the new found freedom,came the new vices in my life.And they carry on to date.

Wife is the female eversion of God.she is a pure Veg,non drinker and nonsmoker,and does Yoga, and pranayam,and eats all the right food,very unlike me.At first she used to look like my daughter,nowadays she looks like my granddaughter.She keeps bugging me everyday to leave my vices,but how can I.They have been with me,since the time of marriage,drinks before that.How can i drop a friend when a new one comes in my life.She cant understand that logic.

Now at night,i eat non veg,along with drinks and smoking,and my mouth must be smelling worse than a Garbage can for sure.We have had many a fights in the bedroom bcs of this,and Since a while, ive decided to put a stop to all this.I dont mean the vices, just the smell part.I brush and go to bed,like a good schoolboy.But this too it seems is not good enough.

Day before night, I went in the bedrrom along with my Dag Tuffy, who too relishes the AC,and slept straightaway.And suddenly at midnight my wife shakes me up to say yr smelling horrible,and i cant sleep.I tried telling her i have brushed,but no avail.So off i trudge to the bathroom inmy sleep,and brush once again and come to sleep.Again after a while she wakes me up to say,you are snoring.Now this is too much.How can such a pious person lie ! I did not hear myself snoring,so how the hell can that be true.Yes Tuffy snores loudly,but not me.

the third time again i am woken up by wifey, to say see, Tuffy is sleeping on the bed below and to tell him to get off and sleep on the floor.We have matresses on the floor,where my wife sits in mediatation in the early mornings,and i find Tuffy sleeping and snoring away on it, with all his 4 legs up in the air,and everything exposed.I had to shake him up and scold him.Poor guys gets up and slinks on the floor.I was so tried by the disturbacnes that i was having a headache in the morning and skipped my morning walks.And in the morning,wife gives me another lecture.It seems i used her brush by mistake,as i was sleepy at night,and took the first one that came in my hands.She had to throw that away.

Yesterday night i decided enough is enough.So i brushed,and went to sleep on the mattress, to avoid confrontation with my wife.Tuffy too had no choice but to sleep on the floor.Wife said how rude it will appear to others if they see us sleeping seperately,I said,besides Tuffy who is the witness ? And i am better off without a Kiss,but with a good sound sleep,and with Tuffy sleeping next to me,his head on my arm,is Nirvana.And i plan to carry on my nirvana for a long long time to come.

Somebody rightly said " The only time you sleep with the enemy is when u get married ".I hope my wife dosnt gt to read this peice,otherwise i will have to sleep in the lawns,with a chain around my neck.Amen.

KAMAL MAHTANI

vivbass · Oct 17, 2007

hahahaha,
well i enjoyed ur write up :rotfl
instead of doing all this better u quit ur smoking & drinking :-D...also u can sleep in the bed along with ur wife happily...:tongue

Kamalji · Oct 17, 2007

Vivbass,

Thanks for yr kind comments and advise.let me think it over.:-DRegards.kamal

Shanvy · Oct 17, 2007

hi kamalji,

Your wife is really god emulated.otherwise how does she put up with you and your dog tuffy:tongue..and your snoring.....i need pointers harsha mam...

Better wake up before you get into bigger troubles......

Your experiences....rock....:rotfl:rotfl:clap

Jananikrithsan · Oct 17, 2007

Hi Kamalji,
I enjoyed the post and your going and brushing at night woken up by wife was hilarious.Tuffy is your partner in crime, I suppose.I too pray that your wife does not read this post.

achu · Oct 17, 2007

kamal ji,
:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl..........had a good laugh, imagining the situation ! u' r write -up is really wonderful ; i simply adore ur humour sense....clap:clap

vidyasundar · Oct 17, 2007

Dear Kamalji sir,

:rotfl:rotfl:rotflcouldnt stop.........here its vice versa thanks for Il tips I dont smoke, avoid eating onions cabbage, nonveg at night i brush and bathe b4 gonna bedroom .... after entering into bedroom there i start with my things thanks for IL beauty and healthy tips............... apply castor oil on scalp, ghee on eye lids olive oil on nail and toes muluthany matti and sandal wood paste( sometimes if i run out of stock naama katti paste)......... beetroot juice on lips ......... milk dipped cotton wool on eyes:-D

there comes my hubby like as if he is entering into a haunted room he will start screaming at me................... censored

it happens never give up cheer up im telling myself i cannot tell you to keep doing what ure doing your wife would kill me......... so why dont we listen to our partners.........

:wave

Vysan · Oct 17, 2007

Dear Kamalji,

I can fully understand your problems.... All these people are laughing:tongue... Being the receipiant of such wake up calls for other reasons... Though I dont drink & smoke... I can understand....:thumbsup

You are very lucky... You can sleep in the matress in the floor... I cant... because shan cannot sleep without her pillow... my hand...:bang... I dont know how she is managing now for the last 5/6 months... ..

On the health grounds, think of quitting smoking / drinking...

I enjoyed your writeup... Great....:clap

balamotwani · Oct 17, 2007

Dear Kamal ji,

Ha Ha ha!!!!!! :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl

Nice write up. Its not easy to stop the die hard habits. It requires determination, will power......(I dont think so you can put an end to your drinking, smoking, can you??)

Even i have the same problem like your wife. He doesnt smoke or drink but he snores while i cant get sleep. But i stopped complaining when he accused me of snoring and my younger sister recorded my snoring in her cell phone and OMG i never thought that i can snore like this.....very bad..... Now i feel it is a disease(ha ha...when i snore).

I always find some smokers using chewing gums, dont u chew. May be you should smoke mint flavoured or some good flavoured cigarettes. If your wife sees this, she is going to shout at me too.

I know you cant stop smoking, so i gave you better option.

latamurali · Oct 17, 2007

Dear kamalji

:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl

I really enjoyed ur post and laughing big in front of all my family members, and everybdoy is starring at me......

Sir, i want to give u one suggesstion, try this, hope it will help u

TRY TO CHEW CLOVES

latamurali