"An old man, staying in a small south Indian town > came to visit his son in > Bombay recently. The son in his early thirties is a > successful businessman > living with his wife and son. The father, having > spent most of his life at > his birthplace, hardly understands a splatter of > Hindi or English, forget > Marathi. But he doesn't care. 'I have come here to > spend a few days with my > son and his family. I don't have to go out and > socialize with the city > people,' he said. > > But the son is very excited about his father's rare > visit to Bombay. He > wants to make the best of it. He and his wife want > to show him around the > city. And yes, the son enjoys those evening hours > too, when he and his > father go out and sit in a good bar, sipping their > favorite drink. > > Last week he was in a very good mood. 'Let's go to > a five star hotel's bar > tonight,' he told his father. It was a beautiful > evening. Talking about > everything under the sun they had a few drinks. As > usual they were offered > some salad, peanuts, wafers etc .as accompaniments > with their drinks. The > old man being almost toothless was not much > interested in eating. But that > day when they got up to leave, he simply took a > handful of chana (roasted > grams) and stuffed it in the fold of his dhoti. He > might have thought about > munching on them, sitting in the car, or whatever. > Unfortunately while > walking in the lobby, he missed a step and > stumbled. Down he went, > scattering the chana on the plush carpet. No > problem .Now lets try to > visualize this scenario. Someone else in his son's > place would have been > mortified, embarrassed to death. He might have > cursed not his father but his > own self for causing this awkward situation. 'Never > again will I take my old > man to such hotels', he would have vowed. No sir, > not this son. Gently, > with a smile, he helped his father get back on his > feet. Instead of feeling > irritated or angry, he was amused. He found the > whole incident very funny. > Laughing, they both went home and on the way they > decided to return to the > same place the following Sunday. The old man liked > the place & the chana > too. A son rises A few days back; at a friend's > place they both described > this event and made everybody laugh. > > Weren't you embarrassed? Somebody asked the son. > 'Oh, come on now' replied > the son. 'He is my father. He talks in his native > language, prefers to wear > a dhoti even to a posh city hotel, takes chana from > the bar to eat later, > does whatever he feels like.... So what? Why should > I feel embarrassed with > his nature and habits? Nobody has a right to stop > him from doing whatever he > feels comfortable with, as long as it is not harmful > to others.' > > The son doesn't care what the staff in the hotel > thought about that > incident. He says 'they should be concerned only > with their bills and tips. > I am concerned about my father's happiness.' The > wife too totally agrees > with the husband on this issue. She feels there are > enough other qualities > in her father- in- law to feel proud of. Continued....
> Accept them .The above incident is not mentioned > just to show the love and > devotion of a son for his father. More than love it > is a matter of > understanding and a healthy respect for the other > person's lifestyle. A > seventy plus old man doesn't want to change his > lifestyle now. He likes the > way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there > is nothing wrong with the > old ways of living. And the son says, "ok, fine. > Every body has a right to > live as per his wish. Now at his age, why should he > be forced to learn to > eat with a fork and knife, if he doesn't want to? I > will feel bad if he is > doing something morally wrong or indulging in some > harmful activities. But > otherwise it is fine. I am not going to try to > change him at this stage. He > is my father. I love him, respect him." > > Hey folks, can you think this way? So many times we > see people getting > embarrassed by the so-called unsophisticated > behavior of their family > members. They keep on apologizing about their lack > of class and manners or > about their drawbacks to outsiders. My wife can't > speak proper English; she > doesn't know what's happening in the world, so I > avoid taking her out or > introducing her to my friends and business > associates... My parents can't > eat with a spoon and fork, so I don't take them to > restaurants.... My > husband is working as an ordinary clerk, so I feel > awkward when I introduce > him to my rich friends. My brother is mentally > challenged, so I don't feel > like going out with him... Are you plagued with such > thoughts or do you meet > such people who think alike? > > If you do, please ask yourself. Why do others or I > feel this way? Really > what is there to feel ashamed of? Most of the people > always have this fear > of other peoples' opinions and comments. What would > others say? They think > and try to alter their own way of living, sometimes > unnecessarily. > > What is worse is they try to change their own people > too. And when they > can't, they are ashamed, angry and apologetic to > outsiders. In fact, these > are the people who have no respect for others and no > confidence in oneself. > They try to copy others, try to be what they are > not, and constantly ask for > outsiders' approval for their behavior. They don't > care about the feelings > of their family members when they avoid or belittle > them. They don't think > how happy his or her family member would feel if > he/she gets an opportunity > to go to some swanky restaurant or a fun-filled > party. Your spouse, your > parents, your grandparents, your sibling, and your > children: - All these > people are depending on you for their happiness. if > you don't fulfill their > desires, who will? > > They are what they are. We are what we are. We > don't have to change > ourselves to please strangers. And if you do, you > are in for life long > misery. In that case you would never dare taking > your dhoti clad relative to > a five star hotel. And your father would never sit > amongst your friends and > laugh his heart out over some funny incident." > > So, the moral is:"as long as it is not harming > anyone (including you), be > yourself in your own special way. > > And enjoy each and every moment passing away."