Ball By Ball By Spouse Of Cricketer

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Thyagarajan, Oct 16, 2022.

  1. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    Writes about
    Cricketing Spouse

    Come all my dear fair young maidens, hear me out!
    Never trust a cricketer,
    whoever he may be.
    Randier than a sailor
    who's been six months at sea,
    Never let a cricketer's hand
    an inch above your knee.
    First let's take the paceman,
    pure speed from first to last,
    My darlings do be careful;
    his balls are hard and fast.
    Then there's the medium pacer,
    his balls swing either way;
    He's really most persistent
    and can keep it up all day!
    Watch out girls, for the off-spinner - another awkward chap.
    If you leave him half an opening,
    he will slip one through the gap!
    Then there's the wily 'slowy',
    pure cunning is his strength;
    He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.
    So ladies, do be careful,
    your mothers would agree.
    Never trust a cricketer,
    whoever he may be.
    And what about the opening batsman, his struggles never cease!
    He has only one ambition,
    to spend all day at the crease.
    The number three is a dasher,
    he seldom prods and pokes.
    When he goes into action,
    he has a fine array of strokes..
    And do beware the slogger,
    not content with one or two;
    When he arrives at the crease
    then only six will do.
    Then there's the real stonewaller.
    Girls! he knows what he's about;
    And if you let him settle in,
    it's hard to get him out!
    We come now to the last man,
    I hope this will not shock,
    He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock.
    So, darlings, do be careful,
    and be well warned by me:
    Never trust a cricketer,
    whoever he may be.
    And watch the wicketkeeper.
    Girls! he's full of flair and dash;
    And if you raise your heel,
    he'll whip them off in a flash.
    If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;
    Or he'll have you in positions
    that you never knew before!
    The cricket commentator
    is a nasty sort of bloke,
    He watches all the action
    and describes it stroke by stroke.
    Even the kindly umpire,
    who looks as friendly as a pup;
    You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up!
    So, darlings, please remember
    and repeat it after me:
    “NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!”

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