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Badgirl - Its Just Too Bad!

Discussion in 'Movies' started by beautifullife30, Jan 30, 2025.

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  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    If I understand correctly, the posts above suggest that a movie showing a teenager threatening suicide to their parents is unacceptable, unrealistic (does not really happen), not digestible and sets a bad example.

    I'm shaking my head at the naivety or ignorance. Teenagers threatening or attempting suicide is a harsh reality, and it’s a unique hell many parents live with daily. It’s not a one-time event of attempt, narrow escape and learned their lesson. No. These parents live with the constant uncertainty of never knowing when their child will try again or which method they might choose next. This ongoing fear and unpredictability is something you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. I have talked with a friend and her husband after their child made each such attempt starting around age 15, and once drove to go sit with her outside the hospital as they cleaned up the child's system. Just how easy it is to order the necessary item on Amazon is unbelievable.

    If such situations are portrayed in movies, they can lead to meaningful discussions between teens and parents. Most importantly, they can help teenagers understand when breaking a friend’s confidence and informing an adult is absolutely necessary to save a life. My friend was lucky. The teen's friends did inform an adult even if after a few hours.

    And why this sudden outrage over a teen threatening their parents with suicide? Haven’t our movies for decades shown parents threatening their child with “over my dead body”? That was normal, set a good example?
     
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I recognize and respect that some parents prefer such movies not be made. They are concerned about the impact these films can have on impressionable young minds. If they want to push for bans or boycotts, more power to them. I wish them success. Genuinely, not being sarcastic.

    That said, young children are exposed to many influences, and realistically, parents cannot shield them from everything. Shielding them actually puts them at greater risk. Instead they need to be taught how to think critically, recognize risks and make responsible choices. That is the job of parents - guide the children in making responsible choices and instill the values their family holds dear.

    Yes, the boy’s or man’s future can be completely derailed. This was one of the most serious conversations I had with my son at the peak of the #MeToo movement and before college. I talked to him about consent, continued consent, and how in cases of accusations, it often comes down to his word against hers. I explained how young men are first suspended indefinitely from college while investigations move slowly, how the girl’s statement alone can be enough, and how she isn’t required to be present for questioning or cross-examination (in informal college investigations, not criminal ones). I made sure to instill in him the caution and values I wanted to. But I never expected the world to align with me in this process—I didn’t expect movies or TV shows to stop depicting college relationships.


    I disagree. Minors experimenting with sex and dealing with suicidal thoughts is a reality. Instead of avoiding these issues, movies should show them responsibly—how suicidal ideation starts, how friends can help, and when it's necessary to break a friend's confidence for their safety. These conversations should be normalized, not ignored. I unfortunately know a bit too much about repeated suicide attempts in teenagers, and how easy it is for them to order harmful things online. Not my kid, but a kid I love like my own.
     
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  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Exactly. We cannot sanitize every film till all films meet the standards of each family and parent. There is a balance already. We have plenty of "good example" movies like 12th Fail, Nil Battey Sannata, and several about IIT entrance struggles. Movies that allegedly set a "bad example" can spark discussions between parents and teenagers about the consequences of certain choices.

    Films cater to a wide range of audiences, and we cannot stop making movies simply because some parents find them unsuitable for younger viewers.
     
    SGBV, priyavijai and Mistt like this.
  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I am focusing below only on the girl from other state part and Amaran waiting to convince her parents.

    You say that the young man waiting to convince her parents is a great example. The unspoken implication is that not waiting—marrying against parental approval—is a bad example. But why?

    If someone is old enough to serve in the army, make life-and-death decisions, and take full responsibility for their actions, why would they or their choice of life partner be incapable of choosing their own life partner? Labeling such decisions as wrong reinforces outdated ideas about parental control over adult children’s lives.

    In fact, these portrayals that you are lauding can be harmful. A parent's role is to support their child, and as the child grows older, that support should shift to guidance from a distance—not control. Parents should be the welcome committee, not the selection committee of a child's life partner choice. Idolizing young people spending precious years exhausting themselves to gain parental approval sends the wrong message. It suggests that their autonomy is secondary, that their choices must always pass through a parental filter, even when they are fully capable adults. That, if anything, is the real bad example. It leads many men and women literally putting their lives on hold while the parents take the time needed to be "convinced."

    It’s quaint and endearing that he waits to convince her parents, but this portrayal also creates pressure on young people who choose to marry without parental approval. It reinforces the idea that seeking permission is the "right" way, subtly casting those who prioritize their own choices as reckless or disrespectful. In reality, not everyone has the privilege of parental support, and young adults should not be made to feel guilty for making independent decisions about their own lives.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2025
  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rihana

    Did you watch the movie? It was the girl who moves out to her home state as she was not willing to marry someone without her parents' consent and shows her emotion for the boy only when he shows up at her door. Her parents objected to her (only daughter's) marriage not because he was from another state or an undesirable person but because he was serving in the military and the girl's family lost people serving in the military. But he took a special effort to make her happy by visiting her and convincing her parents that makes her so happy. There is no implied meaning in what I said and it is in the context of the movie.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2025
  6. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    this sentence should have been
    However, keep in mind that the IL platform is not exclusive to Hindus.
    just shows the obsession mindset.
    most in india hardly talk about caste now.
     
  7. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    The main problem with movies likes these is that unlike the western society, we donot have the necessary support system to help get these teens out from this dangerous path which these movies tend to take or show.

    In today's world, where both the parents are running for their livelihood, its very hard to bring up a teenager who has access to social media. Basically during teens no matter what there is a certain rebellious streak that each one of us have gone through and children still go through.

    At this age, the children donot have the maturity enough to stay strong unless and until they have a good support system and even with all these we see cases of children falling prey to these vices.

    For every positive message that either my husband or I try to impart there are thousands of negative ones which the society is readily dishing it to them.

    As Rihana mentioned in one of her posts, its heart breaking to see a child any child for that matter go through suicidal thoughts and such. But children these days use these words so casually that it is very alarming. Words like depressed, killing oneself is not to taken or used lightly and children need to be made aware of it.

    My question is where are they getting these thoughts from? Why are these usages becoming a norm now? Why is it considered normal? And why are we ok it being normalised?

    Think what you may but in India, a movie is just not a movie. It is a medium which has and still continues to influence so many young minds since
    1. the education system is not strong enough to teach moral values
    2. The parents of this generation hardly have time to spend with the children in trying to understand where and what is happening.
    Unlike the previous generation, parents of this generation are mostly involved in their children's lives but for all the care and strength they seem to give, the external and peer influence has a major role to play and kids are getting out of hand.

    And bringing out movies such are these to extremely vulnerable, immature minds where the support system is not great, is just disastrous.

    Exactly. But the problem here is recently in tamil cinema a trend of showing the lgbtq/ having children out of wedlock or showing women empowerment by means of showing women/ teens girls partying/ smoking/ having multiple partners is increasing and all these movies are getting released within such a short span of time is causing confusion and issue in the minds of all the impressionable boys and girls.

    The point is exactly the same. Teenagers doing it already a harsh reality. Why talk about these things in such a manner as portraying it as a cool thing. A good habit is always to pick up since requires a lot of discipline but a bad one comes as easy as a breeze and glorifying them or discussing them in a casual manner as shown in the movie is not ok with me.

    I have been and still have and will have meaningful discussion with my children but it is definitely not due to such trashy concepts and subjects.

    Exactly, but they chose only a Brahmin to portray says it all.

    @SGBV there are hundreds of castes in India. Within TN, you can find so many castes and subcastes.

    The reason I or other people constantly have issues with movies like these is this portrayal or associating anything about Braminism as being the extremely bad thing. any rotten character is shown as a person from this community but if they take any movie based on real life story, then they completely hide this Brahmin aspect quoting caste portrayal is wrong in such cases. This selective hatred WHEN people from this community NOW are not doing anything to hurt anybody and mind their own business and not retaliate, is wrong.
     
  8. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Older Tamil cinema often reinforced caste hierarchies by portraying Dalit or lower-caste individuals as criminals, rebels, or morally flawed. Villains in many classic films were frequently depicted as aggressive and vengeful, often belonging to a specific caste or community.

    For example, films like Devar Magan, Nattamai, and Chinna Gounder portrayed lower-caste characters as antagonists. Even in Paruthiveeran, the protagonist, who comes from a lower social background, is shown engaging in reckless behavior, including violence and sexual aggression.

    Similarly, terrorism and extremism have long been associated with Muslims in Tamil cinema. As a child, I believed people from these communities were inherently bad because of how they were portrayed on screen.

    However, modern Tamil cinema is gradually evolving, challenging these stereotypes and highlighting that caste or social status has nothing to do with a person's morality or character flaws.

    While it is upsetting to see negative representations of one's caste or religious identity, I don’t think the uproar is entirely necessary, as cinema is finally moving toward more realistic and nuanced storytelling.

    Unlike us, today's kids can easily differentiate a fictional story from reality, and have all the necessary exposure to know the world before they get spoiled by watching a Tamil movie, which they rarely do.


    In the 70s and 80s, mental health was rarely discussed, and many children struggling with depression went undiagnosed. They were often labeled as lunatics, and their unnatural deaths were attributed to “evil’s work.”

    Today, however, parents and teachers are more open to discussing mental health at home, making it easier to identify symptoms early; hence communicating the same.

    The pressure of education and career competition has intensified, with children facing high expectations from both parents and schools, leading to increased anxiety and stress.

    Growing up in a digital world, today's children are constantly exposed to cyberbullying, unrealistic beauty standards, and endless comparisons on social media—all of which contribute to depression.

    In the past, joint families and close-knit communities provided emotional support, helping children cope despite experiencing mental breakdowns at times.

    Now, many children spend more time indoors glued to screens, resulting in reduced social interactions and heightened feelings of loneliness.

    Additionally, they are more exposed to global crises, witnessing everything from wars and climate disasters to pandemics, which instills a sense of panic and uncertainty, further contributing to depression.

    While bad movies may have an impact, they are just one of many factors. However, depression is not a learned behavior.

    This is the truth—how long can we shield our children from these realities?

    In fact, I can no longer enjoy the old movies I once cherished in my teenage and early adulthood years. Now, they feel unsettling, filled with sexism, inappropriate language, flawed role models, and the glorification of male dominance, societal pressure, and women being praised for their submissiveness. Yet, back then, no one questioned these portrayals.
     
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  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    So, the objection to this Bad Girl movie is that it depicts a 16- to 17-year-old girl having sex casually, experimenting with multiple sexual partners and threatening suicide. OK, I may not agree with the objection but can sort of place where this is coming from.

    Now, are you saying that movies featuring LGBTQ characters or depicting people having children out of wedlock are also problematic for impressionable minds and therefore shouldn't be made? Tagging @beautifullife30 @chanchitra @lavani @Swetha52003 @Viswamitra
     
  10. Swetha52003

    Swetha52003 Gold IL'ite

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    Oh dear Rihana, I didn’t write anything because I didn’t see the movie. Whatever I read from OP’s posts, it sounds like a failed attempt of coming of age theme which director had in the mind. The film maker says the movie is all about a teenage girl finding herself through her mistakes and life experiences. And she herself a Brahmin, choose the same as the girls roots too because of familiarity.
    I said failed attempt, because people focused more on the caste than the teens issues., didn’t they? The core problem is the Brahminphobic culture in Tamil Nadu.Hmmm,one thing I can say is I wouldn’t have much problem with the movie if she is an adult. I will indulge you more later, right now need to help my kid for packing his valentines gifts for the class :)
     
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