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Bad Experience With Desi's!!!

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by ThirumathiJ, Jan 18, 2017.

  1. ThirumathiJ

    ThirumathiJ Silver IL'ite

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    I guess the wishful thinking should be we don't turn into them. :p
     
  2. shri0218

    shri0218 Silver IL'ite

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  3. ThirumathiJ

    ThirumathiJ Silver IL'ite

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    VRU - you might agree with me on this.

    Why don't Desi's share Recruiter information?
    Guys, Girls all the same. Even my husbands childhood buddies
    who call every week, wouldn't share those.

    What an awful race we are !!! (minus the few nice ones :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2017
  4. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    OP, yes what they did is wrong. But have you really thought why would they have behaved like that. Have you ever experienced or known how easy a task is shifting to a new place, packing and moving stuff especially with kids. It has to be planned well and executed properly from a few days/ weeks in advance. Only then one would have the time to bid farewell to your neighbours at the last minute. However miserable they were on their day of moving they should have said bye to you or make a phone call or leave a note considering the fact that they had borrowed so many stuff from you. Lack of manners on their part. Just remembered how my mom used to start packing bags weeks before a vacation trip when I was in school,but these days how most people including me do a last minute packing.

    By the way as a good neighbour did u visit them after they informed about their intention to move out. Did u offer to help them in any way while they were struggling.

    If you have their phone number or if you can meet them I would suggest you to talk to them and ask why they just disappeared without a bye. Ask them whether they were upset with you on any thing that they didn't think it's important to inform you.

    However busy they were, I strongly believe that they should have bid farewell since they were shameless to borrow things from you. Since they never kept enough reserve of grocery in their house, they appear to be lazy people with no proper planning in their lives.
     
  5. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    So they found the time to come and ask for help and stuff?
    And no contact after moving? How long ago did they move?
    Cut your losses and move on. Be glad you have good friends you can count on.
    I always give people the benefit of doubt and multiple chances but I know someone who did this and I still haven't got an invite, two years later.
     
    anika987 likes this.
  6. ThirumathiJ

    ThirumathiJ Silver IL'ite

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    Bingo Laks09 - you said it correctly.

    1st experience happened 5 years back.
    2nd experience 2 weeks back.

    I actually don't care if they don't keep in touch, because as you move out, you meet new people, new friends, its difficult as they say "Out of sight, out of Mind". Pretty understandable.

    But My only concern was .....(knock, knock, knock or ting tong - door bell) and then saying bye....we are leaving, from outside the door would have been nice ! Just like how everyone else did, including myself. ) :)
     
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  7. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    This thread is thought-provoking to me.. Thanks, @ThirumathiJ.. I thought about who really was helpful in my early days of life here, that I have neglected to be in touch with... Not because I am thankless, or rude, though.

    And contacted them to say hi, and updated what's new in our lives since we last met. Some posts here made me do that. I hope they don't hold any grudges and respond back soon. :)
     
    ThirumathiJ and sokanasanah like this.
  8. ThirumathiJ

    ThirumathiJ Silver IL'ite

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    wow that's so nice of you. They would have a wonderful surprise.
    But I am sure they too would have moved on with their lives and new ones would have come into their lives.

    Talking about it, its sad how many of them we crossed path and after sometime either you move out or they move out. Miss many of them.
     
  9. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    In my experience, desis in the US are the same as human beings everywhere — some good, some bad. I've seen, heard of and experienced both sides of the coin. [​IMG]

    I hope you meet lots of good people in the future. :)
     
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  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    It's just been two weeks, she's probably still settling in.

    Seems like you are really hurt by the lady not coming around before she was leaving. Maybe it skipped her mind.

    Don't get too worked up and move on. In the last three years I've had so many such experiences. When you have a hard time is when you know which friend will be there for you and who will not. I've been hurt because the ones I expected from were not there for me. I've also seen exceptional gestures of kindness and understanding from the ones I didn't expect it from. The ones I've helped the least have been there for me the most. Helped me a lot to get to where I am today. Today, I don't care for who doesn't do for me, who isn't here for me. I'm looking at all those people who are there for me, those who are willing to help out. Even people here on IL have checked in when I didn't login for months together. I count all those blessings and consider myself well loved and move on.

    From personal experience, something I'd like to tell you is that people will mostly not do what you think or expect from them. As long as there isn't a deal breaker, don't cut off completely. Maintain contact via text or once in a while call. Don't bend over backwards to help them either. Saying this because the one who is there for me today was the one I had written off a long while ago for something petty. She's there for the real deal. I'm glad I didn't completely cut it off back then.
     
    KashmirFlower, paru123 and Rihana like this.

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