Bad Experience With Desi's!!!

Hi All,

In this far away land from home, we all get excited when we see fellow Desis.
But they always end up hurting us. Getting hurt in friendships is common, but now a days
Desis mentality have gone down the drain. (not all but vast majority).

My personal observation at least in the city where I live New Jersey.
They only come to you if they need something. ( soooo sad, because I love to make friends).
I had 2 neighbors in different years of course, moved in to our neighborbood. We exchanged hi's.
I would make an attempt to call whenever I am bored, like every alternate day to just chit chat.
She would only call if she needs some kind of information, like whom do I contact in case of this problem, where do I go to get this/that sort of thing. Need to borrow something etc. NO CASUAL CALLS! Its always with some agenda.

Both neighbors did that to me.

The worst highlight of all.........both moved out of the place without saying BYE!
That was extremely hurtful. Both, until 1 day before moving out, knocked my door to borrow stuff.
But could not knock my door the next day to bid goodbye.
We had exchanged food in the duration of their stay and all, but I guess they thought we no longer need them, why do I have to say bye? That's the end of it.

Please share your experiences as well.

 

Hi Rihana,

Thanks for sharing your experience. I guess there are quite a few leaving the neighborhood without "bye's. It shows their un-ethical and selfishness.

Btw I was a housewife at that time and so was she. So we had lots of time in our hands. In certain neighborhoods especially in apartments, even more so in NJ apts, the environment is just like in India. They sit outside watching their kids play, just chatting away with the neighbors, going for walks.....these are all still common in heavily Indian populated neighborhood. When the school bus picks their kids, a bunch of parents will still be standing there for hour an hour chatting away till today.
People do call the so called friends and chat over the phone or go to their houses everyday.

But If you are working its a different story, I get your point. Then no one will have time to socialize.

Even this neighbor used to come to my house twice a week because their children gets bored. The only complaint I have is when you move so closely how could they just leave without saying bye? That was hurtful. It was not like we were random strangers. Ofcourse they met us frequently though with some agenda, but still we valued their friendship. As I said ealier, I love to make friends, and that's why it hurts.
Hope there would be someday where I could become like you Rihana, caring less for Indians!

Of course this is not my greatest problem, just ranting here because it just happened!
Don't worry about someone moving into 1600 Penn ave. There cannot be any drastic changes at least for now in the next 1 year. Takes time to implement them too.

 

Well... I see most of you have you have accepted well with the reality that most of them out there are just plain selfish. I agree too. I am just angry at them why have they become soooo selfish and so self absorbed.

Even in work environment unknown races of all sorts who do not necessarily are close to you have the courtesy to say " goodbye's". What excuse does our Desis have, especially after being a friend to you.

I had just mentioned 2 ex- neighbors who left without saying bye. But I have had more than 20 neighbors in my entire stay here who have had a good friendship and said bye... when they left.

I really cannot see people justifying their stupid act! Not sure if I"m more surprised of those 2 who used me and did not say bye ......or few of you here justifying as people are like that and suck it up, blah blah blah. I guess I had at least seen few good ones, but guess you guys have only seen all rotten ones.

You can go on and on about telling about life in America is such, nuclear life, people a busy all those stuff, but please come on. Seriously!!!! Even American born have courtesy to say " bye" when they leave. Or Somalian colleague, or whatever nation for that matter. Only very few absolutely selfish, ethic less people would behave in such a manner.

Btw Rihanna, 1 of the neighbor bought a house and moved 10 miles away. So there was no sad situation, it's just people can't be bothered. I wouldn't say everybody, I still have 1 or 2 wonderful neighbors who are also mad at the weird attitude that was exhibited to us.

 

Thank God you do not have the need yet. But you need people, real people. All the social Media is only for passing the time. But in cases of emergencies you definitely need real people. I am not going to list the kinds of emergencies here.