Baby Shower talks gives me tension now.

dear bubblygirl,

it mostly depends on your traditions.

according to maharashtrian tradition, the first babyshower is done by the inlaws, and then followed by the mother's side.

a woman can have as many babyshowers, the more the better. it can be arranged by your sister, sister in law, aunt, or even a friend at their respective places.

i'm sure, its the same in other cultures too. remember even aishwarya rai had 2 babyshower functions.

don't take stress, just enjoy.

 

I don't know what your situation is. Why call any grandparent months before delivery? This is my thought. When the baby comes, there is a person that needs 24 hours attention so less chances of arguments. Without the baby, the MIL is staying home and you are in her mind. Not a pretty situation.

1. Can you ask your MIL to come after the delivery?
2. If you cant, then no other option for you but to have her do the baby-shower for you.

It is a function where couple get together and have fun. Just leave it at that. Don't think of baby-shower as some kind of ceremony that has any effects on the baby. I think NO. Your well-being has impact on the baby and not the ceremony.

I personally find it more satisfying to see a MIL doing a baby-shower. A third person to the to-be mother is taking efforts to do something. It is a pretty sight. Your opinions might vary. That's fine.

3. Why 2 functions? Many problems - Finances, repeated guests that may not like to give you gifts twice. More than anything, it will irk your MIL as if you don't consider her baby-shower as genuine.

4. If you don't like her, please don't call her. This is not the time for you to deal with people you don't like. You try to convince your spouse to tell his mother to come after the delivery. That is beneficial for all the parties.

 

Just have two showers , keep them both happy

i had american and a traditional one .

 

Two or any number of baby showers will not have any impact on the baby unless, you need to endure too much physical/mental stress due those functions.

So you have only one problem i.e. repeated guests. Most of the invited guests usually visit you after the baby is born. So you are forcing them to give you gifts thrice. It wont be nice. Here are couple of options

Fix the dates for two baby showers. While inviting guests, inform them of both the dates and ask them to choose one of them. Request them not to switch between the dates later.

You did not ask for this but having two showers will only add to more issues in your case. There are many ceremonies after the baby arrives. You can ask your mother to choose one of them.

If you are getting stressed, then why bother having a shower? Again, I don't know how important it is to you and your family.

Instead of MIL/mother, ask your husband to organize the ceremony. Ask him to do all the formalities not his mother or your mother. That might solve all your problems. You will have a baby shower, which I think you want. MIL/mother wont be disappointed.

 

According to me just let your mil be happy and let her have her way, it will come as blessings for your baby. In our tradition, mother-in-law only does the function.
But we have a bangle ceremony where everyone puts bangles for the pregnant lady, this is usually done by mom. For me, bangles was also put by in-laws since mom only came for delivery.
So what I did was, I asked mom to add some bangles to both my hands after she came, so I felt like she did it for me.
Its upto you how you want to make them feel special.
If your mil is coming, be happy. Mine was planning to come, but couldn't come last minute, and other in-law cousins came..
so be happy in everything and don't let yourself be stressed out.
Remember this saying, "Too Blessed to be Stressed"

 

Heartiest congratulation on pregnancy.

I am sure when parents and In-laws cant get along its tough to manager for you. There is nothing wrong in having 2 Baby shower. since your MIL will be here on 5,6 and 7th. She can get dates for 5th or 7th month. and your mom can do after 8th month.

Dont take tension. Be happy.

God bless. Happy Diwali.

 

You can have 2 however you will have to have different guests at each one , so no repeats...that would be awkward for guests and you...to explain.
perhaps 2 small is better than one big one...and easier to manage.

 

Congos on your pregnancy....

just enjoy the baby shower dear... dont worry too much about them.

first give importance to yourself and the baby. trust me you might be so tired sometimes at 5th month itself (even i m very much tired from 5th month only).
i just bother myself and dont worry too much about others around.

now is the time to get pampered... so enjoy the moments......................................