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Awaiting divorce match - Adultry case

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by nolife, Dec 9, 2015.

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Dec 9, 2015 #11

nolife Silver IL'ite

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For sure he looks to me like sex starved and desperately wants relationship
.

nolife, Dec 9, 2015

nolife, Dec 9, 2015

#11
Dec 9, 2015 #12

nolife Silver IL'ite

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Surely not for sex ...i told him that i have many opportunities but never crossed my limits as i am not looking for sex.

CrayoNess said: ↑

It depends what you are looking for. If you want to have a casual sexual relationship he seems to be a good candidate. But I would not consider him as a candidate for a serious relationship.
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nolife, Dec 9, 2015

nolife, Dec 9, 2015

#12
Dec 9, 2015 #13

nolife Silver IL'ite

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I have not shared this experience to my friends. I do not have close friends to share all this. I think he is cautious too due to adultery case. He does not have whats app. Now a days I do not see a guy with out whats app. he is chatting on dating site. No personal emails have been exchanged.
Now what is bothering me is he did not reply my ping since 2 days (yesterday, today).

Rihana said: ↑

Be careful; think and act. As you would with any prospective guy.

I don't think he is that much of a red-flag as require you to run run run far away from him. The divorce and marriage after that area is still new in the Indian scenario. Rules and protocols are not so strongly in place as in the west.

Sex outside marriage is still mostly taboo. When in the grey-area of still-married awaiting divorce, it becomes even more hazy. You also did give some encouragement and told him (truly or otherwise) that you sex-chatted with others too.

You could just slow down the pace of things. Tell him it is going too fast. Lessen the communication. Talk about other stuffs too. Don't make his divorce and its proceedings your problem. Acknowledge to him that his divorce might take time, but don't be a convenient shoulder for him to weep on. Don't be a temporary "meanwhile" entertainment for him. Be aware of risks like if things don't work out, he might share that sex-chat stuff with your future prospects.

What do your friends say, the ones who suggested you give him a try? Sometimes, friends who know the whole background, and know you, can give more personalized advice.
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nolife, Dec 9, 2015

nolife, Dec 9, 2015

#13
Dec 9, 2015 #14

Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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1. I dont mean to offend - but wanted to post my frank opinion. Pls. dont be 'desperate' for a relationship, as men can sense it.

2. Do not indulge in sex chats, unless you BOTH are quite serious about marriage step between the two of you. These casual sex chats, cut it even if they initiate it, otherwise you are just 'getting involved' too early.

3. Looks of the guy does NOT matter as much as the internal character and quality of him.

Ragini25, Dec 9, 2015

Ragini25, Dec 9, 2015

#14

sindmani, Iamagoodgirl, twinklingstar and 2 others like this.
Dec 9, 2015 #15

Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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OP, I think the person is not a "marriage material". No serious person would initiate sex talks when meeting first time. Don't buy his story about his divorce. He said she didn't allow him to touch and yet he had sex with his wife a couple of times. Asking for 35-40 lakhs? If his wife was involved in adultery, then he should have filed the case. Also, how can his wife file a case on him for adultery if she has no proof. Too much complexity. Be patient and wait for the right person.

Please do not involve yourself in any sex chats with anyone on the internet. This may hit you back. There are many cases in the newspaper about people blackmailing on the basis of the chats.

Akanksha1982, Dec 9, 2015

Akanksha1982, Dec 9, 2015

#15

sindmani, twinklingstar, bulesha and 3 others like this.
Dec 10, 2015 #16

yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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nolife said: ↑

Some how i feel i should not have encouraged him for sex chat.. I was so drawn and did it.. Looks like i have given him leniency
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Don't beat yourself over this Op.You are single and free to do so if you want.Just be careful ....as Rihanna wrote...it can be used against you.

Also ,having such talk because you are drawn towards is one thing and taking that person as a serious prospect is another.That is all.

yellowmango, Dec 10, 2015

yellowmango, Dec 10, 2015

#16

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Dec 10, 2015 #17

nolife Silver IL'ite

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He is probably the first guy in my life with whom i got closer so early..
I would cut the sex chat crap till I feel marriage is fixed with the guy.
As per the actual plan we are supposed to meet again today as he will be coming back to my city again but since 3 days he is not responding my messages nor have called me.
I think he does not like me ..

nolife, Dec 10, 2015

nolife, Dec 10, 2015

#17
Dec 10, 2015 #18

mani75 Silver IL'ite

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Dear Op,

This guy was looking for two things casual sex and money and you are not willing to give him either so he is not interested anymore.

How do you know he is not playing the same game with few more ladies at the same time.

Just because he does not have WhatsApp does not mean that he is not manipulative.

In fact not having WhatsApp keeps things clean for him and less risk of getting caught because all proof is on his computer which is in a different location from where he is.

Op, you are looking to find a life partner after having had a painful experience. I would suggest that you consider the most important qualities you are looking for in your partner and focus on finding those in your prospective matches. Some compromise will be made but if you know your priority you will find your partner.

Please be careful on dating sites where such predators are waiting for a desperate prey. Try to understand the opposite party a little bit more before getting into seemingly intimate chats or situations that can backfire.

Also if you have pinged him once and he has not replied in 3 days, understand that he is no longer interested or is trying to figure out how desperate you are and therefore how much he can get from you.

Please stay away from him.

I wish you happiness

Mani 75

mani75, Dec 10, 2015

mani75, Dec 10, 2015

#18

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Dec 10, 2015 #19

nolife Silver IL'ite

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I have called this guy just now and he could not recognize me . Then I told my name. He replied saying "hey I am busy I shall call you back" .
This proves he did not save my number. But I don't understand why he is not telling me that he is not interested?

nolife, Dec 10, 2015

nolife, Dec 10, 2015

#19
Dec 10, 2015 #20

santoshini Silver IL'ite

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Hi
I think its better to consult with your parents before making any hasty decisions and moreover getting into a serious commitment like marriage should not be taken so lightly
Dont think i 'm exaggerating the situation , but certain things must be discussed with parents gor sure.
Lucky you.. just forget him as he is not answering.,your stars are really bright

santoshini, Dec 10, 2015

santoshini, Dec 10, 2015

#20

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