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Autism Kids Mom Can Help Me Pls

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by Sweetygals, Jan 29, 2020.

  1. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts for behavioral therapy. You do need to spend a lot of time and it's slow going until they start integrating well.

    There is no end date for when you start therapies. It would make sense to plan at least for a year or so. I would suggest you take your DD with you and enroll in a school in India so she can go to school while you take the younger one to therapy. She is his natural peer. It's best to not separate them, in my opinion.

    I did both, both pegged him at different levels. Dev pedi was right.

    Sometimes when we get a diagnosis, we start looking at all behaviors under a microscope. According to me a 15 months old child reaching and trying to get his milk seems very normal but I'm not sure what the "normality" of any behavior is any more. Sometimes, even now, a friend has to tell me that his behavior is very appropriate and her son also does it.

    For us, non traditional ABA approach(with floor time and RDI) along with speech helped. Parent and sibling involvement helped and most of all sending him to a small preschool with some peers helped. The right teacher is very important, after many attempts, a teacher with a special needs pre school was who clicked for my son.
     
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  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    Getting to his level and pointing when he is not frustrated really helps. Point to milk and then give him milk, point to water and then get the water. It's important to do it while he isn;t crying and throwing a fit. If he is, then he isn't calm enough to understand and grasp it. Keep modelling it and he will start pointing. Make sure you are kneeling or bending and are at his level when you look and point and make eye contact and talk etc.
     
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  3. Sweetygals

    Sweetygals Bronze IL'ite

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    may I know what is rdi? is it restricted dietary intake. I already dont give outside foods from beginning for both kids. we are vegetarians. what else to follow. is stopping milk helpful. I'm worried without milk he might become nutrient deficient. pls help.
     
  4. Sweetygals

    Sweetygals Bronze IL'ite

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    Also wanted to check opinions with u all. I had a casual conversation with 2 of my male colleagues about my work break. I was telling about my kid. then immediately they both said their boy kids was also like this at this stage. no eye contact, dont respond to name,
    started pointing at age 2 only after playschool started.

    they started making eye contact, respond to name, started talking at age 3. till age 2 they did not do anything. they also took their kids to doctor in chennai but did not follow therapy continuously. as they could not shift family to chennai. just took pointers and came back and then 1 has put in day care at age 2. And started seeing changes tremendously. the other one could not put in day care as his wife also sahm. he could not afford.( in sg day care is expensive. ) so this one just place the kid in good play school. and his wife dedicated full time with him. this kid started talking at 3.5. now 5.5 talking in sentences. attending normal school.

    so they both suggested spend more time with him and put him in day care. he will pick up by age 2. thats what they both did. take him india and take pointers from therapist try in home. at 16 months I panic too much. and also in Singapore reputed day care with play school will be good rather than therapists in india.
    as aba only 3 centres available in chennai. cannot take small kid there daily. only ot and st possible. ot is nothing but play therpay.
    so day care with his peers will help him. And also explain his issue to teacher. some teachers will be very supportive. u can find such day cares.
    so try that rather than therapy in india.
    some kids are late bloomers. in olden days that's how our parents brought us up. we should also do the same. this kind of issue does not occur in joint family set up.
    I also agree that I did not spend much time with him at 6 to 12 months. just feed him , clean him , placed the toys. will take play ground that's all. he was on track on physical milestones. so did not bother much.
    As I started work, me and Dh had tight work schedule. he does not pitch in much for parenting. I focussed more on my elder dd at that time. this was the mistake which we repent so much.
    let me know opinion as well.
     
  5. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    It’s Relationship Development Intervention - a therapy successfully used in high functioning kids in conjunction with ABA.

    My pediatrician said this. I agreed and waited. I regret not following my gut at 16 months and waiting till age 3. Therapy is not harmful. Waiting, we never know. I did get a lot of stories from everyone who waited and the kid got okay at age 3. I never spoke to anyone like me whose kid actually needed therapy and suffered. I carry that guilt daily and beat myself occasionally because I saw red flags and my pediatrician didn’t see it. In hind sight, taking the trouble of therapy at that age was so much better than doing it now when he should have been fully integrated in a school. Even if he caught up eventually, the therapy was just hard for us as a family but wouldn’t have hurt him as a baby. Not doing it actually causes him more harm. So much of lost time because nobody agreed with me.
    Btw - I stayed home. I engaged him. I did the pre school with peers. I did it all but once we got into therapy is when I learned all I could have done and hadn’t until that point.
     
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  6. VLR

    VLR Silver IL'ite

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    Agree with Laks09. Better be safe than sorry. Early intervention works wonders. My DD started therapy at 2. I am glad I didn't wait even though my DH and other family members suggested give her another year. It was a rude shock to my DH when her diagnosis came through. After that he never questioned my decisions regs my DD's therapy. The earlier the intervention the faster they get integrated into mainstream.

    Don't want to scare you. It might eventually turn out that your son was never in the spectrum and was only a late bloomer. In that case very good. But in the event that he needs intervention, one year delay in starting that would not be advisable.
    Everyone will give you suggestion based on their experience. You have to trust your instinct and decide what is best for your son.
     
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  7. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes what others said it's absolutely correct.

    My experience: when my son was 2 years old, everyone started asking is he started talking, playing with kids, play with toys etc. I answered yes but to my mind I started doubting when he was 2.5 years old. I thought he might catch up the communication by 3 as my bil was late talker they said. But I hate to my feet how come the pediatrician didn't catch the red flags...he was my first kid and I was in USA away from family and friends. So I didn't get much chance to compare with other kids. I got conceived as I moved here so not much friends either.

    By 3.5 years old where I started working full time job...we changedto different preschool ad we thought maybe he didn't like the old school much. New preschool wass good...in 2 weeks they said you have to go to neurologist...my fate even theold preschool wasn't good they cared about tution fee but nothing else. We got the report then it was overwhelming as the report showed worse red flags then we thought.

    Please start evaluation and therapy earlier .. eventually they will stop therapy immediately once they see progress...so please take steps. Just sharing my experience as no one was there at that time for me even tot these things.
     
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  8. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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  9. VarshaaKumares

    VarshaaKumares New IL'ite

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    Hi it's really happy to see such positive turn outs in this thread. Please do such posting and educate us, these positive words is our only ray of hope which will help is to strive more. Wishing your kid more happiness and success
     
  10. DavenaRosalie

    DavenaRosalie Bronze IL'ite

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    Just make time for fun and create a home safety zone for your kid, Good Luck! :)
     

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