Aunties Zindabad

Kudos to @sln sir for bringing AUNTY puranam Into limelight highlighting their sine qua non status in our society. I as a school boy enjoyed aunties sammelanam in our neighbour hood when they unite outwardly for kitty party and chit fund Mo they meet. I had the opportunity to witness their deliberations and dissensions at close quarters.

As we shifted our residence every summer in the same locality my mom had too many friends and all her friends becme my aunties and I enjoyed snacks during my occasional visit to their residence. From some I got technology transfer for making dishes like sambar. There was no the dhal in kitchen. I used green gram and prepared sambar for three persons for lunch and dinner. Mom was away on a mission. We had nofridge at home. I gave sample to sub tenant aunty who uttered platitudes but said such large quantity of sambar made using green gram would go stale in summer soon.

Another aunty made me an entrepreneur. She had collected from weekly family magazines like Kalki and Ananda Vikatan serial stories and desired binding them. Same day while returning from school for lunch I stood I front of a binding shop when a boy like me was binding a school book. After watching him two three days in a row doing the binding work in that press, I undertook binding of aunty's collections. For the maiden binding work, that aunty gave me a rupee coin that was lying on a small Pooja shelf. That ₹ one coin, I had re-invested to buy binding materials like calico cloth, hard board, design paper, thread, sewingneedle, copper sulphate, maida etc. I remember to to trim edges of the bounded book I paid just one annah. The binding business from there took off well .

But during college days my boy friends used to tease the girl-class mates wishing them ,
"Hello aunty - good morning!" I never liked it. But the girls as a group smiled or smirked responded "thank you uncle"

I agree in toto.

Irrespective of the age, in TN it is in vogue to add ma to maids name while accosting or addressing them. The maid may be several years yompnger. They do not feel offended and rather they take it as great respect and happy to serve such madams or masters. Aunt is father's sister and aunty has nothing to do with it.

 

Enjoyed reading the humorous 'Mami mahathmiyam'.(AUNTIES ZINDABAD)
We can never forget mamis prior to 1980 with 'Enna', intha asattu brahmanan, vakkappadarathu etc etc slangs.

*Caring and submissive Mami*
The typical 'இந்த மனுஷன கல்யாணம் பண்ணி என்ன சுகத்த கண்டேன்' Mami.
A very dedicated sincere mami, running
to the errands of mama, never leaving him for a second.
Mama always calls 'டீ, அதக் கொண்டா'. Mami ' இதோ வந்துட்டேன்.....ணா' type.
Over phone when mama brags, I bought this and that to others, Mami will say 'ஊக்கும், நான் பொண்ணா பொறந்து சீனிவாச அய்யங்காருக்கு வாக்கப் பட்ட மாதிரி இருக்கு. இதுக்கு பெருமை வேற'
But Mamis and Mamas are always really interesting .

Todays's mamis are well informed than anyone.They talk spic and span flawless English
and they are 'ulakam sutrum yuvathigal'.
Their comments about kutcheri will be 'kalyani raga, quintessence of raga, alapana with frills etc etc and nothing but English'.
'Tamil vaarththaiye maranthu porathu'-is the oft heard comment.
For decades, the Mamis were generally a subdued lot – sacrificing their interests, their choices,..,… for the sake of the family and single mindedly pursuing their husband’s and children’s interests selflessly. They took pride in the achievement of their kids and remained contended in whatever they were doing.

But since the 80’s the Mamis started taking a different avatar. It would be tempting to attribute this change to the overall rise of India and the Indian Middle class post liberalization. But I would ascribe this change to the rise of India in IT and the subsequent changes it brought to the typical brahminical household.

In a book titled “Indian Express” by Daniel Lak, the author quotes Kris Laxmikanth – a headhunter specializing in IT in Bengaluru saying that the ascent of India in the domain of IT can be owed to the “revenge of the Brahmins”. And may I say that the ascent of IT in India has led to the “Revenge of the Mamis” in Tamil Nadu and elsewhere. This revenge saga manifests in few ways:

Far from being limiting their sojourn to pakathu veedus (neighbourhood), Kovil (Temple) and Kacheri(Concert), today the Mamis travel around the globe alone.If its 1 year in the Washington in the US to meet up with the elder son, then its Woodlands in Singapore or Sydney in Australia the next year ,along with a pleasure trip to Newzealand with the daughter!!!
“Ennoda passportla pages romba seekram theernthu pogarathu” (The pages in my passport get over very quickly) is a lament you can hear if you overhear 2 Mamis conversing. And the other Mami quipping – “Naan oru Jumbo passporta vaangi vachundurikken” (I have taken a Jumbo passport)
In kacheris Mamas discuss Modi Vs Manmohan while the Mamis were comparing Sanjay’s rendition in Thyagaraja Aradhanas at Cleveland Vs Austin. “Kalyani la antha “Bajare Re Chitta” Clevelandla pona varsham paadinaar paarungo,. Romba nanna irunthathu. Austinla Kalyani paadala,..,…,..(In Raga Kalyani, the song he sang in Cleveland was very good. But in Austin he didn’t sing Kalyani)
Gone are the days when Mamis used to talk about going to Srirangam temple for Vaigunta Ekadasi and cross the ‘Swarga vaasal’ and buy kalsaatis in Rangavilasam.
Now its “Pona Vaigunda Ekadasi annikku Pittsburg Venkatachalapathi kovil poyittu apparam we had a Potluck party. Naan puliyodarai pannindu ponen. (Last year on Vaigunta Ekadasi we went to Pittsburg Venkatachalapathi temple and then we had a Potluck party. I prepared Tamarind rice)
The Mamis have far better comprehension of Geography compared to their counterparts. When the Mamas struggle to figure out if SFO was West coast or the East, the Mamis have no such confusion. “LA state na Louisiana state pa, Los Angeles illa” (LA state means it is Louisiana state not Los Angeles) – I heard a Mami clarifying to one MS aspirant the other day!
They are very good in studying directions in the map and are quick to take the correct route by trains even in an unknown land.In many places they have to take blue or red lines, come to a transmigratory junction and take another elevator, go to another platform to go to the correct destination.While Mama, the post doctorate scholar is still blinking what to do, she acts very fast.Whenever a tour is planned she takes a list of common words, learns the corresponding term in Germam or French or Spanish and does not hesitate to ask the foreigner in his tongue
and enquires about the hotel distance etc, verifies thro another person and proceeds in a clear
route while the mama simply follows.
The other thing where Mamis completely overwhelm their better halves is in the domain of health.Mamis are invariably treasures of medical knowledge. I have seen a mami having a diary of common illnesses,symptoms and prescriptions given normally by doctors.Finding answers on complex health questions real time with any Mamipedia is more accurate and faster than any other “pedia” in the worldwideweb.
She excels in Law also relating to household matters.Her excellence is attributed to her curiosity to learn.
I can confidently vouch that most of the Mamas have very little clue on their ailments, dosage of their medicines,.. and are completely dependent on their Mamis to guide them on these. “Intha tablet saapaatukku pinnala. Itha poi saapaatukku munnala pottu karele”?? (This tablet is supposed to be taken after meal. You are taking this before???) – is a dialogue one can hear often in brahmin households.On many occasions they question the doctor why he didn't prescribe a particular drug while the LDL is 200.Many young doctors confess that they become tense when they see a mama accompanied by a mami.
The doctor may be even forced to say"why do you come to me?"
.Days are gone when mamas were good in the Queen's language.Now Mamis have mastered the language as well as the accent.If they give TOEFL they may score maximum.
Mami is good not only in drawing kolams,wearing madisar, and decorating her daughter for Bharatha natyam performance ,but equally proactive in social media.They can talk about appalam or Tavala vada making and also about baking cakes, .They are experts in giving relevant trip s to tour programme of any country, which air line is cheap and best, which season to travel, which hotel is the best for indians, Which travel agent employs Indian guides and so on.
After years of being submissive, it’s their time of reckoning.'Revenge of Mamis is fully on. And they are clearly enjoying it. And the Mamas have accepted it gracefully.Is there a choice???
JAYASALA 42

 

Dear madam sister @jayasala42,
A gripping FB - a narration that I felt heard it as if am in front of you. For me, aunty here aka māmï is none other than @jayasala42 herself.

It transported my mind to Bhagyam Ramasamy’s iconic caricatures appasami & Seetha Patti - The first story was published in Kumudam magazine in 1963.
Regards.​

 

Hello @sln Sir
Nice snippet sir,Very well you have emphasized role of women's contributions and labelled them as Aunty.
I don't like addressing anyone as aunty and uncle,except in relation that too if demands.I prefer to call sir or mam,in IL also I address everyone sir or mam.
It's very rare situation I call anyone uncle or aunty whom I come across outside of relation like neighbours.
When I meet any new person I call them sir or mam.
From my childhood to now,I have friends who are older to me.Minimum age difference ranging from 20 to 45 years gap.
My mom questions me why do I friendship with people older to you,it's million dollar question to her till now.
8 years back my mom got ankle fracture,she was operated 2 times,mom was in need someone to look after her.
At that time we kept one attender,that lady was around 50 years old.Intially I used to call her by name,she did extra mile,going beyond what's required or expected, really impressed me.
She did everything to my mom as her sister.For me she helped me a lot I was new to cooking,my mom never allowed me to kitchen,here every one may think it's her love towards me, but not,she loves her kitchen more than anything.she never allowed anyone to touch her kitchen.when she was bedridden,there was no other option except me to cook.At that time my mom attender helped me a lot, daily before leaving to her home she used to cut veggies,stored in the box and kept in refrigerator.Morning she used to come before her time,so that she can be my helping hand,and I can go to college at right time.On Sunday's she taught me different recipes, slowly bond developed between us and I started her calling aunty.Her name is Padma, my aunty with beautiful smile and heart.
Regards
Ratna