Attending A Wedding In Which Dowry Was Exchanged

A close friend's niece got married recently. The girl had come to U.S. to do her M.S. and is working on OPT permit. Mutual friends of the parents suggested an alliance (love this Indian word). Boy (love how about-to-get-married adults are called boy/girl) is a U.S. citizen by birth, doing his second PhD. Not sure what happened to the first.

Both boy and girl from very well-to-do families. From a community known to be stinking rich. Girl's parents gave dowry to the boy's parents. Cash. Girl's side also paid for the wedding, reception in India, and sharing cost of reception in the U.S.

Girl and boy know about the cash dowry but had no real say in it, and will never really be impacted by it. It is just how alliances are finalized.

I have a verbal invitation to the reception. Part of me wants to avoid as a matter of principle. The number of zeroes in the cash given as dowry was jaw-dropping. DH was shaking his head at how even after living in the U.S. for 25-30 years people can still take dowry. I asked him should I go, and he tells decide based on 'where is food getting catered from?" : )

 

LOL.. food will be vegetarian, very simple and almost "home made." Long story (subplot) about why home-made (not cost cutting).

My friend has been a willy-nilly participant. She herself not very happy with some proceedings, mainly the cash dowry.

 

Yes, I've always wondered how much to hold it against younger folks who get married with dowry. Unless they tell us we wouldn't know plain hard cash dowry was part of the wedding. Practically speaking, the girl wouldn't get married to a suitable "equal" boy if no dowry was given. But, I never figured how they could respect each other if money was thus given. At least if the couple got the money, it would go to their expenses/luxuries, but it goes only to boy's parents.

Why the small font? Almost like you are whispering about something shameful! Was the bride in a lehenga, kanjeevaram or western dress? : )

 

what's wrong with that? you are like my dh is ... dismissive of such queries from me.

You are saying I ask Cheeniya or IL_Admin to close thread?

 

Hmmmmm.. dil says go. There is something charming about weddings and receptions, and all that youth and hope, shiny eyes and buzz of chatter... am not exactly flooded with such invites to receptions/weddings that happen in Indian style.