AT 77 YEARS,my heart still beats for Valentine's Day

At 77 years, my heart still beats for Valentine’s Day
From the first week of February; stores, hotels and other public entertainment joints will remind the public of the approaching Valentine’s Day. Discounts and attractive package deals will entice the gullible to loosen their purse strings. Today, the opposite sexes enjoy far more freedom to express themselves, a restricted proposition in the earlier days. Financial independence has given them the wherewithal to splurge on expensive gifts to celebrate the day. Mere communication with eyes, a smile and a warm clasp of the hand to say the unspoken words are not enough anymore. I believe that this is the day on which the sanctity of intimacy and feelings for each other should be expressed in a simple manner. After years of living together and taking each other for granted, Valentine’s Day can be tapped to remind us of what we have overlooked the rest of the year and to make amends.
The whole effort should be spontaneous and not under pressure. One young man caught with stolen goods confessed that he stole to buy an expensive cell phone for his girlfriend. There is lot of misinterpretation on Valentines as St.Valentine laid down his life to demonstrate his love for his friends. Therefore one can unhesitatingly express his affection for friends, parents and close relatives. I remember that as a young man I visited Chennai with a group of colleagues to appear for an interview. There was a girl among us who after making a perfunctory Namaste to my mother spent most of the time with the boys. When queried I explained to my mother that she was a a sociable girl. My mother with her rustic wit quipped “I have studied only up to fifth standard but my understanding of the word is that she can be sociable with women also.” I was effectively silenced and felt foolish. There is also a grouse that Valentine’s day celebration is a part of western culture which we are trying to ape while Rakhi or Raksha bandan is not celebrated in western countries,
People went to wars, sacrificed their lives and built magnificent edifices to proclaim their love. A girl asked her boyfriend whether he loved her and would die for her. The boy replied” No, my love is of the undying variety” Five years back when the Valentine fever was on, I uttered a few emotional endearments to Mythili, my wife. .After hearing me patiently she asked me whether it was my Valentine’s Day speech. While I scurried for cover she said with a twinkle in her eye “I prefer cash”. I chose my wife as she did her wedding saree; not for the Kancheepuram weaving but such qualities as would wear well. Today difficult demands are made on the woman to satisfy the romantic, the physical needs as well as running a home. The problem gets compounded in the case of a career woman. On the other hand the woman wants to be listened to, loved and attention not to speak of fidelity in both words and spirit. Otherwise the cynical view of George Bernard Shaw on love takes over; “When two people are under the influence of the most violent, utmost insane, most delusive and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting condition continuously until death do them apart.”

 

Dear Aruna,
quite a few incidents of moral policing take place by self appointed conscience keepers of our culture.Youngsters also do not know where to draw the line in respect of public display of affection.Permissiveness and intolerance are growing simultaneously leading to unsavoury situations.
Regards
Lakshiminarayanan

 

Dear Rama,
Valentine day celebrations have becoming a big affair with marketing guys creating a hype and making sensational offers.With a booming middle class expense is of no concern and there is always EMI making the purchase affordable.There is hush hush conversation among eight year olds as to who is whose valentine.The redeeming point that approaching exam takes over and valentine day forgotten until it raises its head again next year.
Regards
Lakshiminarayanan

 

Dear Kamla,
You have hit the nail on the head.Unseen,unspoken ilites have become an integral part of a closely knit family sharing their joys and sorrows and mutual concern for their welfare.Can there be a better example of a valentine?
There is nothing like a candle light dinner with silence and the trees and shrubs as appreciative witnesses.I have to recall that Myhili and I ,just the two of us aimlessly drove for ten days and travelled from Pondicherry to Kanyakumari.The only restriction was that we had to keep our daughters and sils informed of our whereabouts.Mythili blushed when our Sils made fun of us on our return.
Love can be between anybody.A wounded soldier of Napoleon was operated upon without anesthesia to remove a bullet.The soldier requested the doctors not to go deep ""asyou will strike my heart and the emperor is there "This would not have been said without love and concern.
Through you I wish the ilites happy valentine day.
Regards
Lakshiminarayanan

 

Dear Satchi,
I appreciate your efforts to extensively quote what appealed to you in my article.I wanted to take a balanced view of how we take each other for granted and while making amends avoid ostentation.There is lot of truth in what GBS said and unlike the earlier days conscious effort has to be made to keep the romance burning.
Thanks and regards
Lakshiminarayanan