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Ass Buffalo Etc

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Sep 30, 2016.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Ass Buffalo Etc


    A Guru made an ass of himself when he was taken for check up to Delhi. Well I am referring to Assaram Bapu. It seems he was taken to AIIMs, where the ruse brought him bread and butter, and this is what ASSaram had to say to her


    Why is there a need to bring butter with the bread when you are as soft as butter? You must be from Kashmir because your cheeks are as red as Kashmiri apples and tomatoes."

    Rape accused Asaram Bapu compares Aiims nurse's cheeks to 'juicy Kashmiri apples' - Firstpost

    Well Bapu is still young eh ! He notices the anatomy of females at this tender age of 75.Impressive I must say. And I am a Sindhi like him, but I wont say if I am proud of him.Thats a secret. HAHA



    Buffalo and the Theives


    Rajasthan: Two thieves feared drowned as stolen buffalo swims to safety - Firstpost


    Two guys decided to steal a buffalo. The got one, put their mobiles and purse in a polyu bag which they tied to the horns of the buffalo, and they wanted to take the buffalo across the river. Well buffaloes can swim, but these two couldn’t, so they decided to put the buffalo in the river, and they caught its tail.


    The current was strong and they lost their hold on the tail. God knows where the two guys went, but the buffalo swam to safety.

    IAs u all know buffalo is the chariot of Yamraj. Who knows this was Yamraj;s buffalo, who came to take these two all alone with him without Yamraj, telling him that I can do a job as good as u do.


    HAHA



    Missing Dog found at UK Airport

    Missing pet dog found at UK airport after 8 months - Times of India

    LONDON: A dog in the UK, who was missing from home for eight months, was reunited with his owner after he was found wandering around an airport terminal.

    Airport staff called police when they discovered Diesel wandering around Terminal 1 of Manchester Aiport inEnglandlast week.

    Two police community support officers (PCSOs) chased after the pooch and managed to capture him, despite one of the officers falling over in the process, the Manchester Evening News reported.


    Guys tell me have u ever seen a dog inside of a Indian airport ? Runways yes, but inside Airport ? And u have dogs roaming for months in UK airports.

    We are more civilized eh !



    Brides Spend Lakhs on Dental treatments in india

    A bride's smile is worth lakhs, for dentists - Times of India?


    To be brides are spending lakhs on their smiles and teeth, costing lakhs, so that they can charm their husbands.

    What I wonder is, is the to be husband interesting in her smile, or something else , during the suhag raat and honeymoon. I wonder really, if that is money well spent.


    HAHA.


    Have a great weekend ladies and gentlemen.


    KAMAL MAHTANI



    Hearing about surgical strike Rahul Gandhi is saying he will support the surgeons who went on strike



    Biwi, Boss aur Modi main kya common hai?


    *Teeno sirf apne MANN KI BAAT kehte hai,

    humari to sunte hi nahi...*



    SIX IMPORTANT GUIDELINES IN LIFE.


    1. When you are Alone, Mind your Thoughts.

    2. When you are with Friends, Mind your Tongue.

    3. When you are Angry, Mind your Temper.

    4. When you are with a Group, Mind your Behavior.

    5. When you are in Trouble, Mind your Emotions.

    6. When God starts blessing you, Mind your Ego..



    Mom gets upset when she sees her son busy stitching a button to the trouser .

    Mom: "I got u married, u have a wife for such things, I can't believe that u still have to stitch a button to your own pant".


    Son replies

    " No mom it's her pant".....
     
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  2. curiousgals78

    curiousgals78 Gold IL'ite

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    Nice snippet Kamalji. last joke about mother-son duo is nice.
    just read the news about this ashram bapu. 75 yrs and hes still cheeky enough to be commenting about girls and cheeks and tomatoes and apples. i think some people never agree that they are old enough for all these. being the Godmen he is cant he control his toungue bit better. no use hainv slipped his toungue looks like its going to cost him heavy.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2016
  3. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    KAMALJI yourb chest must heave upp in pride over Asaram. From a tongawalla c from near the Ajmer Dargah, he runs an empire now. That reflects the spirit of typical Sindhi enterprise. The buttery nurse must be careful Otherwise Asaram might get naughty with her and then sing "Maiyya main nahin Makhan khayo". Dentists for brides? May be future MILs want their prospective DIILs to have gold teeth.
     
  4. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Funny Kamalji. Not sure where and how you get such news. Aasaram is just horrible. Not sure how people get into talks of such people.

    On dogs at airport, "bade bade desho mein aisi choti choti batein hua karti hai"

    Awesome jokes.
     
  5. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Curious,
    Yes cheeky chap, and sadly a sindhi like me.HAHA
    it will not cost him heavy at all.Just wait and see when he is released, he will have more followers than before.That is how our public is, who deserve godemen such as him.
    Regards
    kamal
     
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  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,
    My chest ? Well my head is down with shame sharing the same caste with this fellow.He spoils our name.
    Anyone can become a god man, i see so many of these guys on TV and they make my head swin with all that they say.
     
  7. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Aks,
    Well the news papers at 3 bucks are wiorth their weight in gold for me.
    Today i read, a woman discovered the man she has married is her grandfather actually.HAHA

    Regards
    kamal
     
  8. shobhamma

    shobhamma Gold IL'ite

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    I do not know what the hoopla is about!
    All the time from all religious / corporate Gurus we get the magic Mantra "BE YOURSELF". Now when poor ass is just being himself you have problem?
     
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  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Shobha,

    HAHA. what a FB, to the point.Yes true.
    Regards
    kamal
     

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