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Asking For Change When You Don't Contribute Financially

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Dreamer, May 31, 2020.

  1. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    Hi ILites!
    I am male but have been living with my in laws for almost 3 years now (there were reasons for it). There are certain things in the house which I'd prefer to change or renovate. I keep my salary to myself and don't contribute financially except for groceries and other small stuff.

    Is it okay for me to ask for these changes in the house? The thing is that they involve some amount of construction and i might be moving out in a year or two so I don't want to pay for it. Hope to get some good suggestions.
     
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  2. meenu2020

    meenu2020 Senior IL'ite

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    Op, asking for a change when you don't contributing financially is not a good idea in my opinion.you can try but that will not make a good impression I guess.
     
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  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    If it’s your in-laws house I would not ask unless you want to fully pay. And even then they might not want to change anything given that it’s their house and you are only there temporarily.
     
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  4. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks for your reply. I kind of agree. Just that there can be a much better setup in the house and I might be here for about 2 years more (already been close to 4 years). Maybe if I pay they will be okay? But then I don't know if it's worth spending the money.
     
  5. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    You saved
    4 yrs is 48 months rent. Eg if you put as 10k for each month is 576000 close to 6 lakhs.
    You can contribute that much money to alter, bit it's upto them if they want thier HOME to be altered or not.
    Also 2 more yrs 24 months you will save 240000 approx 2.5 lakhs.
    Only on rent you have saved 7 lakhs. You think it's worth spending money??
    10k per Month rent in Indian city is the minimum quote.
    It you don't like setup better move out to convinient place.
    I'm being honest
     
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  6. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks for your reply. I also think that adjusting is the better option. But with in laws it's always an issue. But then I am so much in a better position than some women here :)
     
  7. Minion

    Minion Gold IL'ite

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    You want free lunch and you want to decide the menu and dictate how the meals gets cooked and served ?
    You can't have your cake and eat it (too), be grateful for what you have and think of how you are going to repay your IL's when you move out.

    grate·ful
    /ˈɡrātfəl/
    adjective

    feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful.
     
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  8. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Your in-laws seem to be wonderful people considering they are letting you live with them rent free. Have you not considered moving out immediately to reduce their burden? You can work it out if you are really make a resolution to do so.
     
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  9. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Well you will move out in a year or so and then let them
    Know about the changes but it is their choice if they want to do it or not.
     
  10. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    Well actually they requested me to move in with them and I agreed because my wife is their only daughter and they had issues with her moving in with me.
     

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