Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Reenae, Nov 28, 2007.

  1. Reenae

    Reenae Bronze IL'ite

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    You know you are asian when..

    * Your house smells like fried onions.
    * When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
    * There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
    * You make tea in a saucepan.
    * You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
    * You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
    * You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
    * Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
    * You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
    * You hide everything from your parents.
    * Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
    * You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
    * Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
    * Everyone is a family friend.
    * Everyone always called you for help on homework.
    * You study law, medicine or engineering at university.
    * You were thick so you studied computer science or business instead.
    * You know no one who has studied music.
    * You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
    * You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
    * Your best friend got married at the age of 18.
    * You only make telephone calls after 6pm.
    * You like the meat well done.
    * You eat onions with everything.
    * You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
    * You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
    * You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.
    * You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
    * You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.
    * You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
    * You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
    * You secure your baggage with a rope.
    * You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
    * You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.
    * You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
    * You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
    * Your Dad drives a Nissan.
    * You're rich so he drives a Mercedes.

    - (For females) You're parents would freak out if
    you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable
    (For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm
    * You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
    * When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning
    * To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid
    * You wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other
    * Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names
    * You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku
    * Your parents call all your friends "Beta" (son)
    * Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds
    * Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
    * Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
    * Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.
    * At least once a week your mom says, "I want to go to India/Pakistan"
    * No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
    * Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/ lawyer/ engineer.
    * You're parent's always say, "It's cheaper in India/Pakistan"​

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