You know you are asian when.. * Your house smells like fried onions. * When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent. * There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them. * You make tea in a saucepan. * You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it. * You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes. * You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home. * Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years. * You call an older person you've never met before "uncle". * You hide everything from your parents. * Your mother does everything for you if you are male. * You do all the housework and cooking if you are female. * Your relatives alone could populate a small city. * Everyone is a family friend. * Everyone always called you for help on homework. * You study law, medicine or engineering at university. * You were thick so you studied computer science or business instead. * You know no one who has studied music. * You went to a university as far away from home as possible. * You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished. * Your best friend got married at the age of 18. * You only make telephone calls after 6pm. * You like the meat well done. * You eat onions with everything. * You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup. * You fight over who pays the dinner bill. * You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents. * You teach Westerners swearwords in your language. * You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you. * You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius. * You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on". * You secure your baggage with a rope. * You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up. * You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight. * You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family. * You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school. * Your Dad drives a Nissan. * You're rich so he drives a Mercedes. - (For females) You're parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable (For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm * You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go * When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning * To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid * You wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other * Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names * You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku * Your parents call all your friends "Beta" (son) * Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds * Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day * Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting. * Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids. * At least once a week your mom says, "I want to go to India/Pakistan" * No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit. * Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/ lawyer/ engineer. * You're parent's always say, "It's cheaper in India/Pakistan"
