Are you looking for help? Is your MIL, SIL or DH making your life difficult?

I am married for 6 years now...My MIL seems to hate me since
starting. but after my child birth (Daughter) she has started
hating me more... I guess it may be because I prefer to live
as per my choice. Although I give her proper respect but refuse to
obey her in everything. As obeying her means living like a maid in your own house. I also want to wirte this that she doesnt care for me a bit and sometimes I feel if I am sick or in pain she feels happy.
My MIL is not very educated. She also never had
got any respect or care from her husband.Sometimes I feel that
she feel jealous of me as I am working woman hence enjoys a better life than she had. She always continue
to stare me badly whenever I am around her and her staring makes me very uncomfortable.
She stares me like as if I am a criminal or have done something wrong. Please suggest what I can do about it.

 

Hi dear,

As u mentioned that u are a psychologist, I would like to know how one can deal with a MIL who nags u 24x7, giving lectures on everything in ur life, I mean cooking, cleaning, dressing up, manners, talking, lifestyle and work, friends, how to behave etc etc. How one can keep herself sane while living with such person. I ignore her to every possible extent but still she irks me with her lectures and nagging gestures! How can one handle such person who tries finding fault with everything u do and wants u to improve all the time as per their wish. I feel like shouting at her but I control this urge for my DH's sake. Can u tell me how shall I keep myself sane while living with her? Thanks!

 

Coolgal123... you summarized it so well dear.......... can I pls re-use your summary for my case...
Yourwellwisher, thanks so much for stepping in... maybe you can read a few of my posts as well ... GOD really needs to bless me a bit more... and not BEDAZZLED way.

 

And I'll copy paste what silvertulip has to say! After all our MILs are :twisted: twins!!!

 

My case is different. Here I need help to forget the dark days of my past.
I had a very bad, toughest experience during my initial days of marriage because of my in laws, that even brought me to a suicidal status.
I moved on so far from them, from all my problems and I am very happily married now. Thanks to God.

My problem is, I keep on remembering those bad days, and become extra protective in everything that I do. I never trust my in laws and sometimes fails to trust my own husband if he visits them.

I keep on judging and bad mouthing my MIL whenever it is possible, specially with DH as I still feel my anger is not gone yet.

I also fear my MIL might separate my son from me if I give her a chance to be with him, so I am always vigilant on my MIL's influence with my son. To be frank, I never send my son to MIL's home alone (without me).

I feel, like I need help to overcome this, and excuse them whole heartedly. I am sure my loving husband feels not so good about my attitude although he understands the reason behind my anger issues. I feel, its high time that I must move on.

 

Hi SGBV,

even I am facing the same problem, that I feel I am always nagging my husband about my in laws problem as I still feel angry about what they have done with me...and my husband understands my anger but still i know that this nagging is not doing good to our relationship and I am also hurting my husband which I dont want to do but still I cant help it and I am doing it now and then. I know I can not control these things as some feelings/anger is left unsorted about past but dont know how to sort it out.

Also I feel that i nag my husband because I feel he could have saved me from hurtings given by my in laws but he did not. As he had given priority to his parents useless thinking over my feelings and sometimes over my well being.

I tried to persaude myself that every person has his own limitations so my husband also has. and he loves me in many other ways but still I feel anger towards my husband and in laws. i know that I have to live with my husband only so why to nurture these negative feelings. But I am unable to keep them out of my head. If you find out a way please let me know also.

 

A very new member with just one post is asking for pm. FYI.

 

This was the first thing I noticed in this thread instead of a catchy title

 

I usually don't judge people by their first post whatever it may be,but I too noticed this.