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Are you a superwoman? - Happy Women's Day, Friends!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Chitvish, Mar 3, 2008.

  1. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    This is a question, which we tend to ask ourselves, when expectations about us soar high in the circle of our family and friends! This term was unheard of by me, in my younger days! I wonder if superwomen were non-existent then or it is a newly coined term to denote a woman who is a career woman as well as a home maker. A friend says, after Superman made his entry 50 yrs back, Superwoman followed him! That sounds very reasonable!!

    As soon as you are married and enter your husband's home, your in-laws are likely to think that they have bagged for their pampered son, the best bride. They want you to be

    1 -The torchbearer of the family
    2 - The perfect companion for their son
    3 - A mother to grandchildren who bring home only laurels in studies, sports and not to forget extracurricular activities
    4 - An expert cook, who can dish out tiramasu as effortlessly as idli-sambar
    5 - An adorable "daughter-like" daughter in law

    None of these is an easy role! Very often the expectations surpass your capacity and disillusionment sets in inevitably!

    We are very often cramped and stifled within the framework of our limitations and tend to forget to be ourselves. We are at our best as individuals. Fixing targets for us is like tying a stone to the legs of a soaring bird! A woman unfettered by targets can surpass all expectations in every field of her activity, as a professional, as a housewife, as a mother, as a friend, whatever!

    Thinking back, when I first heard of Jacqueline Kennedy, I thought she was a superwoman, the press was raving about.
    Her successor in that category was Princess Diana!
    Looking back, I think, they were more admired for their beauty and position than their accomplishments.
    Now we talk of Kalpana Chawla and Sunitha Williams, the same way.
    Yet another superwoman was our own late Prime Minister Indira Gandhi.
    When we read about , say, Indira Nooyi, we tend to think, she is a superwoman.

    It is no easy task, unless you
    Are gifted with best brains
    Have applied yourself conscientiously in education and career
    Are blessed with a supportive family
    Are wholeheartedly and judiciously able to balance career and family.

    I am neither a champion nor a conqueror nor idol, least of all, a heroine! But very often, my husband would like me to be one, to suit his needs! His concept is
    I must be a good cook
    I must keep an impeccable home
    I must be a "handywoman" for an emergency
    I must gain the confidence of all relatives
    …………………………………………………………
    But, friends, let me frankly admit, I just love to be myself, flaws and all!

    Love,
    Chithra.
     
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  2. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    SuperWoman being written by one super woman dear Chithra..I agree to that long list of things that is expected of the bride..also your list of woman are definetly considered super women too..Your husbands idea of wife would probably fit every man's expectations give or take a few..But I think if we can adequately balance our lives that we have chosen for ourselves we can consider ourselves a super woman too.
     
  3. vidhi

    vidhi Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Chith
    In today's world everyone expects you to be a super woman. Most often even by neglecting our own health we do things.. Some are super woman naturally. They have it in them..Each of us has our strengths and weakness. How to utilise your strengths and understand your weakness can help us to a large extend.

    I agree with your last line fully. Yes I am what I am. I want to be myself. And it is true with every one. When we have freedom to decide and do things according to our wish most often we find we can do many things. Then we start enjoying doing things. Slowly we realise our strength and can do many things. they get peace out of it. Then a woman truly turns to be a super woman. No more it is a compulsion or the need of the day.

    Love
    Vidhi
     
  4. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Chithmam,

    Happy women's day.

    Everybody wants you to be super..take the case of the kids, they expect you to be a supermom, your husband wants a superwife, in-laws.a patience incarnated as DIL.,a super daughter to the parents...in the run to satisfy others, we forget that we are human with a need and want to ourselves...

    It has taken me so long to realise, i need to be just me..

    I am proud of being a woman.
     
  5. aishu22

    aishu22 Gold IL'ite

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    Chith,absolutely agreed with you.They indeed expect you to be all in one.I have thought about this thing a lot many times.When R sit backs and relaxes on a lazy saturday morning me, running between rooms-cleaning,washing..wat way is it justified.I also work all the 5 days being a co-bread winner.He does help me, but this is the condition when a guest(In laws side) is at home.All burden on the woman of the house! We need to take in all their preferences, cook good food,take them for temples(if they want to visit)...my god....The list is endless.
    I would say every woman is indeed a super woman..with all her flaws may be, but still going on to satisfy every sphere in life.
     
  6. SoaringSpirit

    SoaringSpirit Silver IL'ite

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    I think the adjective super-woman is a carrot men dangle in front of us to make us surpass our already better selves! :) With due credit to all super women, I think super women know how to better "manage" expectations rather than fulfilling all expectations all the time. I agree with others, that all women are inherently and most definitely super!
    SS
     
  7. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks, leader of my blog feedbacks !
    Men being men, women being women, we can conclude every woman is a superwoman, in her own way.
    Love,
    Chithra.
     
  8. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Vidhi, you have written very well.
    Yes, it is not worth doing anything, neglecting our health etc to come up to somebody's level of expectations. We mus remember we wre answerable only to ourselves first & foremost.If we are happy with all that we do, we are superwomen, definitly !
    Love,
    Chith.
     
  9. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, I fully agree with you, Shan!
    mangayaraai piRappatharkae maathavam seithida veNdum amma !
    Let us apply ourselves completely - body & mind - in whatever we take up to do.You are a superwoman to yourself. Let us not ask for anything more !
    Love,
    Chith.
     
  10. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Aish, your list is very true ! Even at this age, when Vish sits with the newspaper & coffee in the mornings, I wonder, why he can't come to the kitchen & help me ! Well, I think they are "conditioned" differently. But everyone of us is a superwoman in her field of chosen activities !
    Love,
    Chith.
     

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