Are you a good listener?

Chitvish · Jun 9, 2008

Listening is an art !
We must learn to listen!
When people talk, express their thoughts, ideas and opinions, let us listen to what they are saying. If they are expressing their feelings, let us pay attention and listen. Let us try to understand.
We need not always agree with whatever we are listening to. Whether we agree or not, does not matter at all. In fact, it is beside the point. Do not try to express yours when somebody is expressing his or her thoughts, by intruding. Anyway, you are not going to be heard at all and ultimately your points will be lost.
Whenever I had a conversation with anybody, if I had a doubt that they were distorting the truth, I used to grab the opportunity and tell them point blank that their information was full of errors and mistakes. Little did I realise that , according to them, mine was likely to be so! Over the years, I learnt that by listening in sincere silence, I was considered smart as a good listener.
If we don’t understand what the other party talks, we must just ask “Could you explain that?” But we must not give our opinion while he is still talking.
By listening intently, we also understand the unspoken thoughts of the person! When he has finished, we can tell him the inner thought. He will be surprised that we have listened to him so carefully and will be very happy.Now, the situation will become quiet, the other person listening to your talking. All the pressures will fade and we can get on with life!
Listen. There can be nothing like being heard!
The following quote, I wrote down from a book, years back, goes as follows:I listen to the space between the words others speak.I live in the silence where knowing dwells.I make room for life by creating stillnes.

Love,
Chithra.

Lalitha Shivaguru · Jun 9, 2008

Dear Mami,

I agree with you on every point. Listening is an art which has to be slowly cultivated.A good conversation begins being a good listener first. People sometimes in a hurry to say their view interrupt so badly that the speaker loses his continuity and sometimes the objective of the speech is also lost.

To be good conversationalist being a good listener is the first and foremost criteria.

corallux · Jun 9, 2008

Dear Chithraji,

Many years ago, I read a story in reader's Digest about a man who wanted to sell his old Tractor. He had estimated he would get just Rs.4,000-5,000 for the "Old Junk". He advertised it & sure enough a buyer came to his door step.

The farmer wanted to quote his expectation & close the deal. Something told him to be quiet. The buyer came back after the test drive & told him he was willing to make an offer of Rs. 10,000 nothing more. The farmer thanked his stars & closed the deal.

Listening helps us decide between right & wrong. Oh yes, Chithraji, I agree by listening to a person, we can judge for ourselves the authenticity of the information the person is giving us. Many a fight/ misunderstanding can be cleared if we just LISTEN.

No wonder the wise coined a saying, " If speech is silver, silence is golden"

In an age where everyone is in a hurry to impose his/her opinion on others, the art of listening is slowly dying out.

Regards,

Corallux

Chitvish · Jun 9, 2008

Though we are ready to listen, we love more to talk.The latter is our own expression; so our love for the same is more.
In Kerala, there is a phrase called "chappaLachi adikkarathu". It literally means, meaningless prattle. Very often we have to suffer that choicelessly.
But, the art of listening has to be cultivated.
Love,
Chithra.

Chitvish · Jun 9, 2008

Thank God, he man did'nt start off!! This is the first time I am hearing it.
Tongue control (pun intended) is what we need most. But hardly do we bother about it.
Lux, why I wrote this was - V is a "minimum talker", but an ardent listener! I can never be like him!!
Love,
Chithra.

Lalitha Shivaguru · Jun 9, 2008

Dear mami

idha idhadhan naan edhirpathen !

Lux, why I wrote this was - V is a "minimum talker", but an ardent listener! I can never be like him!!
Love,
Chithra
Click to expand...

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mami my dh was also under that category but now God help me he does not close his mouth. Maybe ennodu kathu visardhu nanaikirien.

mkthpavi · Jun 9, 2008

Dear Chithra...

Cute post If we all learn to use our ears as much as we use our mouths and our minds, the world would be a better place indeed. Silence is golden - but speech is silver only ! I have observed that those who speak little, but speak effectively, are more matured and balanced when undertaking any endeavour and making decisions. They are more objective and focussed 'cos they are able to 'listen' better to others - listen to others' opinions and feelings - said and unsaid.
Thanks for a nice post on a Monday morning.
With love
Pavithra

Chitvish · Jun 9, 2008

to gold. Quite a few are compulsive talkers as well. That does not matter at all. But they have no patience to listen.We are waiting to use our tongue, rather we love to.
When V quotes, what a friend or relative mentioned in course of conversation with us, I feel so sheepish! Between us, I am the talker & he is the listener!!
Love,
Chithra.

Devika Menon · Jun 10, 2008

Dear Chithra Ma'am,

As always you have come with an interesting topic.

Communication involves talking , listening and understanding.

Listening is primarily important.
We find enough of those suffering from verbal diarrhoea ,but how many good listeners.??
My profession as a psychologist /counsellor sometimes requires me to merely listen to what the person has to say. They talk and I merely listen for about an hour and by the end of it they say.Ma'am thankyou youve been a great help and what did i do . I merely listened. Ofcourse there is therapy involved but the initial process is where they look for listeners.
The other listening is the listening of the inner self. This mad rush of life sometimes leaves us with little time to listen to ourselves, our needs, they are easily abandoned.Our body and our conscience speaks something very vital.Listening to it will help us in attaining the bliss that we all seek.

Love,
Your mol

pavai · Jun 10, 2008

Hi!
This is a nice thought.I am a good listener though nodbody prised me for being that coz that dont have time even for that.Even i forget to speak,when i try to speak the flow not coming. And i have a feeling that nobody is there to listen me.Lets see anybody will come in future.