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Are "working women" respected more by the inlaws ?????

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by anika987, Mar 17, 2014.

  1. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Not at all! I was working when I got married and was trying to be a traditional, typical DIL. And I didn't get much respect. Fast forward several years, I am a stay at home mum. Now no one would dare cross me / be sly even over the phone. Neither treatment was because of my work status. It merely had to do with the way I responded when people were being unfair.

    earlier, I just accepted it, bottled it up and tried to move on. Which left me feeling like a pile of crap. Now I am consciously nice all the time; in case someone tries to be unfair, I use my body language, facial expression (practiced before the mirror), and calm, diplomatic but direct response to ask them to back off.

    You can deal with this. And please do.
     
  2. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    A working person is (generally) more respected by others irrespective of gender. If someone can not respect a stay at home wife/husband, it's about them not about about the SAH W or H.
     
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  3. WorkingWoman

    WorkingWoman Gold IL'ite

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    Your working may or may not change your MIL's behaviour however it will certainly change the way you feel about yourself.
    How we assess ourselves depends purely on us. It does require an amount of strength to stick our assessment for ourselves.
    If you work then you will get rid of working like a servant whole day and hear taunts at the same time. Your self-esteem will go up. You may face still more troubles in terms of work pressure at home however you can reassure yourself that you are excelling in other area and you have a worth.
    I have seen such things happening around me. Women ultimately pickup a job and move out to work instead of slogging at home. They do have more work pressure but mentally they feel stronger.
     
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  4. VidBala

    VidBala Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Priorities plays a vital role here.

    Working women :

    Financial contribution, Away from home, Work Pressure

    SAHM:

    No/very less Financial contribution, Ample time for family and their needs

    Its is up to us to decide what and how we want out life to be..

    Do not worry about your Inlaws/others as they are only part of your life and not the life itself..

    Best Regards
    VidBala
     
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  5. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    How inlaws behave with you has much more to do with how much your husbands loves you and how much he can protect you from his own people.
     
  6. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

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    I have seen many females who are not working but living with dignity. Yes, if you are working then you are perhaps more confident, have superior people management quality, have superior crisis management aptitude, but by being pro at these, by no means you can guarantee that you would be good at home too. Hence, these are very different aspects.
    Work on yourself!
     
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  7. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    My situation is different. I think if IL are going to respect you and be kind they will regardless if you are working or not. Take me for example. I am a lawyer with my own law firm and charge ridiculous amounts an hour and make three times as much as their DS. Still they insult me, treat me like crap and have never respected me. When their friends talk about what a great practice I have and am a great lawyer they just stay quiet and a lot of the times will say but she's a bad housekeeper or bad this. So I don't think it will really matter if they dislike you front their heart. You could be mother Theresa or Princess Diana and you would still not be good enough. I don't think i would have been treated any differently either way.
     
  8. Twinkel

    Twinkel Platinum IL'ite

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    For once, give her back saying "That's exactly the reason why I never ask for your opinions". Give her taste of her own medicine....
     
  9. shobhamumbaikar

    shobhamumbaikar Gold IL'ite

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    absolutely right..its not about job dear..i will tell you. I am a working woman..i used to contribute towards house-hold expenditure as well.

    Still i was a doormat only because i was timid. So what is required is a change in yourself. Believe me, that is what is required.
     
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  10. nalinidiv

    nalinidiv Platinum IL'ite

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    I second yellowmango and few others views..
    whether working or not, ull be treated the same ..like another poster said.. dey wud have to take a magnifying glass to treat u like a doormat...
    change ur view... dont underestimate urself.. spend some quality time for urself.. be happy and put ur foot down and dont tolerate anything that affects ur self esteem.. jus don bother sbt her comments...ull be surprised to see the change in urself after doing dese things
     
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