Are women partially responsible for maintaining male dominance in our society ?

that is exactly the problem! The women seem to have internalized their role and "place" so much that they feel they need to be ashamed if they "need help" from a man for a "female task". Some even think they would disrespect or ashame their husbands in public by doing so or that others would later gossip about them they are not even able to do such simple think or they are not able to take care of family..... so they refuse help as they are afraid or loosing respect... it is a shame.

 

That's the kicker.....what everyone dreams. Lot of people (especially women) should stop dreaming about marriage and open their eyes and really look at what's going on BEFORE they make a difficult mistake. I believe a rule of life should be to be your own best friend and take care of yourself as you would any other loved member of the family.

 

Three cheers for that Tashi. I think at least a quarter to half the problems would be reduced (I don't use the word 'solved') if young women go into marriage shorn of the rose tinted glasses placed on their noses by society.

I still remember before I got married and used to be reluctant to do so saying "x,y or z was so miserable after marriage", the stock reply I used to get was "you are talking of one or two people here and there. Am I not happy? Is your sister not happy? Are not a,b or c not happy?" The better answer would probably would have been "Marriage is not just a bed of roses. There are thorns also along with. If you want the scent of the roses, be prepared for the pricks of the thorns too." That the institution of marriage has undergone a sea change after my times is a different matter. But fact of the matter remains that I am surprised by the number of young men and women who otherwise are so street smart and savvy who go into marriage expecting to be carried away by a handsome prince on a steed who will save them from the troubles of the world.

Working at home or working outside for money should not even be an issue. Today I am unable to work meaningfully outside the home. Even at home I need help. I pay a bomb for two women who come for a couple of hours each and do a slipshod job. So if I were to be personally doing all my own work like I used to do earlier (in addition to working outside of course), ensuring that the house was spick and span and every vessel was gleaming, imagine what the value of my work in hard cash would be!

The main consideration in equality should be the fact that a woman's work, irrespective of whether it be at home, outside or both should be respected and treated in such a way. Even if they choose to remain at home, women too need to grow up and realize they are not babies who need to be "cared for and protected" by a male. Stay at home, keep house, look after your kids and elders - if that is what you like to do - and make sure at the same time that you stand up as a self-respecting, capable individual in your own right.

 

In the modern world the traditional gender roles are mostly outdated. Very few of us are living on a farm with plenty of heavy work to be taken care of by the men. Most of us live in urban settings where heavy work is very rare. The example I gave with the male coworkers skipping the cleaning was a get-together-potluck party. Everyone was supposed to bring a dish and then after eating cleaning together. The whole idea was to do something together. I somehow could understand that the guys escaped but got very confused that my female coworkers refused to let them into the kitchen. There was no heavy work involved in that party.

Regarding providing for the family financially I see that it is the up to the healthy grown ups to take part of that. Children and elderly are of course excused. I would even feel embarrassed having someone else paying for my living.

 

What I mean with modern city life is a life where the men are not out hunting/doing farming work. I do not know if you live in a village or not. Myself live in a city. Yes, India has a lot of modern cities and I have seen some of them. I have also seen villages. Ethiopeans are as human as the rest of us are. But a bigger portion of ethiopeans live in villages/rural areas where traditional gender roles still have a value as the men are needed for heavy work.

 

To answer you point by point:

1. What are these 'gender roles'? Why do you believe in them? Why are women supposed to believe in them? Oh, I get it now, its because these 'gender roles' say "women folk must always listen to men folk" LOL!!

2. Why do you assume we women are being 'forced to go out to earn money for maintaining the family'? Why not respect the fact that smart, independent women are making these choices? Why do we need your blessing to go out and earn? Since you 'don't like women to be forced to go out to earn', will you provide for women who are facing financial hardships? Why do you think women are providing only for the family? Why can't they earn for themselves? Don't we have any needs of our own?

3. I regret I am not enlightened enough and do not pretend to know what design 'HE' has.

4. She is mother. Agreed 'no equality of roles can shift the matter to any men'. Is any one even debating this? I think not. Similarly, he is father, and can not shift his responsibilities to the mother, if he decides to 'father a child' (pun intended).

5. Really? Are you sure? How do you know?

6. 'The plain truth'??? What? Where?
Not sure who is grumbling, but yes, it is an annoying habit. I agree fully that no one should grumble. Ladies, we should all mew in disgust, whenever we feel like grumbling (especially at such chauvinistic posts)!

Thank you for a very entertaining read. Have a good day.