I see a trend where I see women spending tons of money on themselves like designer blouse , multiple outfits and ceremonies with different make-up artist, hair stylist and what not for weddings. These weddings are mostly funded by parents. In fact in one of the weddings, I saw a artist flew out for doing makeup . This adds a lot of burden on parents . I forgot about million candid pictures and video shoots done pre-engagement, post-engagement, pre-wedding, sangeet, mehendi, reception and post-wedding. This whole saga is done only to get likes from social media. Other than this I don't see any purpose for such spending. what is your opinion on these extravagant spending ?
Yes very irresponsible of girls who put financial pressure on parents. It also put peer pressure on other people in society to make lavish weddings. Indian society is very immature in this matter. There are competitions, comparisons who did better weddings, functions etc. It's all waste of money, time, energy especially for middle class people.
honestly they are not irresponsible. but i feel they are smarty manipulated which forces such behaviors. have you seen those instagram reels. oh my god it does make me jealous too. those fancy romantic pictures of the couple, then random dances , then arranging bridesmaids like the way it is done in christian weddings. cake. this is the reality. sometimes the couple puts pressure on their parents to do such. some parents do it. some ask the couple to pay from their pockets ( i guess then it is bit conservate when you spend your money ).
Weddings can be as simple as just the bride, groom, priest, and immediate family, or as extravagant as the Ambani wedding. It's a whole spectrum. It could be a quick 2-3 hour one function wedding (my favorite) or a multi-day celebration with specific dress codes. God I hate the dress code thing, yellow for sangeet is fine, but when they have a "suggested" attire for other events, I get ticked off. From the weddings I've attended, I've noticed that while the event is a significant expense for the bride’s side, it’s not necessarily a financial burden. The parents are well-off and can afford it. I’ve seen brides fly in makeup artists and follow intense four-month exercise and skincare regimen, and while it seemed odd at first, I now see it brings the family a lot of joy. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime occasion, and they want to splurge. So be it. In a way I am glad that these brides now have more of a say in their weddings and are able to create the event of their dream, unlike in the past when the bride had limited say about her wedding saree, dress, color or even the rituals. If the cost becomes too much of a strain on the parents, then it’s up to them to have some frank conversations with the bride and groom.
If the parents can comfortably afford it and they want to indulge their children then I don’t see a problem with it. It’s not how I would choose to spend money but everyone has their own priorities. But if the parents are feeling pressured, taking loans or spending a lot of their savings at the cost of their financial well-being then that is not a good situation.
I remember my cousin crying pitifully at her wedding reception 30 years ago. Her MIL had adamantly refused to let her go to the parlor to get her hair and makeup done and then made a huge fuss when one of my aunts tried to do what she could. Her family was too scared to stand up to her. Even the very orthodox members of my family were aghast at her behavior. I’m glad times are different now.
This happened before my son's wedding. The brides mom wanted to buy and do this, that etc., etc. and the bride, later my DIL was resisting them as unnecessary expenditure esp. jewels mandap . Surprising isnt it? The poor mom, came to me (of all the people) pleading to put some sense into the girl... now I am in a fix, having been born with 3 girls, witnessing wedding expenses issues, I was (and am) totally against such expenditure. But now I had to improvise...think...at least to please the poor mom..Then I told the girl "Actually weddings create jobs for poor people, helps money circulation, so if and if your mom wishes to get you a few things out of love pls accept." Also explained to her that the assets can later help her in case of emergency , that it gives a sense of comfort and security for the parents to see the daughter well secured etc.,." She relented with grumpy face. All her valuable 'seer' was with me for a long time before handing it over when she mentally reconciled to the fact, with the birth of a daughter. But of course the girl wanted a beautician to decorate her in the proper manner, though not in todays terms. Understandable, because it was an unforgettable and momentous occasion. Nowadays whenever I come across such instances of lavish spending, I just wish that they would give such an importance to the relationships, with the husband, his & her family, to celebrate the 'family' concept. Misplaced value..!
It looks the wards are waiting to splurge the hard earned wealth accumulated over decades by their parents. World is full of showoff and those who do not make a show of their wealth would not command respect or merit respect. It is world of comparison and imitation. This is more prominent in weddings not only of affluent and middle class indian community but all over the world. I like tribal community's celebration of wedding. Even aboriginal tribes of Australia celebrate wedding without any show off.
Irresponsible? May be carefree for the last time in her life before marriage.. after marriage , who knows, she has to compromise on so many things with in laws, spouse, outside world. But once she has a child, everything turns around..focussed on the future more responsible than the spouse also at times....ha ha..
Thanks everyone. I have better perspective of this situation now. I think it boils down how much you have . Maybe my lifestyle might be too much from someone else I guess.
