Are we modern independent educated women all tyrannical DILs ?

persecutedDIL · Jan 12, 2014

Someone posted out there saying that we all modern women are no different from our MILs in the sense that we harass them in their infirmity and vulnerable age once we get the power of the household. This is our way to seek out revenge.
Whether this is right or wrong, called for or uncalled for or a poetic justice of sorts, is not the question I am asking.

He never thought why we don't hear sordid tales of MILs being burnt by their DILs but only of DILs being burnt by their in-laws, we don't hear cases of PILs committing suicide in mysterious circumstances but only of DILs committing suicides in mysterious circumstances, we don't hear cases of DILs and wives slapping and using physical assault to express anger but husbands do whether on their own or at their parents behest.

Yes, we do hear cases of old men and women being sent to old age homes but this cannot happen without their sons being involved!

So, are we modern independent educated women all tyrannical DILs ? In what ways have we tyrannized our PILs ?

Yes, I admit that I am a tyrannical DIL because:
1.) I seal my mouth when they talk and don't broach even simple topic of conversations with them myself.
2.) I do not call up my in-laws on my own ever.
3.) I behave very formally with them and there is no filial love in my interactions.
4.) I take a vow of silence every now and then.
5.) I do not toe their line. I do not oppose openly nowadays but I do not do what they say, adding insult to the injury.
6.) I appear to be a woman who has her own mind.

Thus I have tyrannized them no ends but with provocation.

jigisha321 · Jan 12, 2014

I am also 'tyrannical' because
1. I wanted to take care of my parents even after marriage !!
2. I do not like sitting with my MIL and watching bogus serials
3. I read a lot and like to keep quiet
4. I am not very ritualistic in my religious views
5. I managed to look after my baby single handed after C-section and did not act helpless...Supposedly this has offended her and I am branded as 'too tough'..That is also a negative aspect of mine

I don't know where I go wrong but I know this much that I am always wrong because no girl can be right for my MIL's son :bonk

Flyingsparks · Jan 13, 2014

persecutedDIL said: ↑

Someone posted out there saying that we all modern women are no different from our MILs in the sense that we harass them in their infirmity and vulnerable age once we get the power of the household. This is our way to seek out revenge.
Whether this is right or wrong, called for or uncalled for or a poetic justice of sorts, is not the question I am asking.

He never thought why we don't hear sordid tales of MILs being burnt by their DILs but only of DILs being burnt by their in-laws, we don't hear cases of PILs committing suicide in mysterious circumstances but only of DILs committing suicides in mysterious circumstances, we don't hear cases of DILs and wives slapping and using physical assault to express anger but husbands do whether on their own or at their parents behest.

Yes, we do hear cases of old men and women being sent to old age homes but this cannot happen without their sons being involved!

So, are we modern independent educated women all tyrannical DILs ? In what ways have we tyrannized our PILs ?

Yes, I admit that I am a tyrannical DIL because:
1.) I seal my mouth when they talk and don't broach even simple topic of conversations with them myself.
2.) I do not call up my in-laws on my own ever.
3.) I behave very formally with them and there is no filial love in my interactions.
4.) I take a vow of silence every now and then.
5.) I do not toe their line. I do not oppose openly nowadays but I do not do what they say, adding insult to the injury.
6.) I appear to be a woman who has her own mind.

Thus I have tyrannized them no ends but with provocation.
Click to expand...

hi persecuteddil..

unfortunately this is what the mils think..that we are tyrannical...not only mils but educated dh..relatives everybody..

Endlesshope · Jan 13, 2014

Me too a tyrannical DIL, cause I love/cling to my dh no matter what [ it really pisses off people, cause I don't give them chance to put me down haha] gigglingsmiley

rajiprasanna · Jan 13, 2014

Hi persecuteddil,

Happy to see your post.joinin de queue of tyrannical DIL and very happy too for that.
the reasons in ma case are

i never cal them (even dey dont cal me...dunno y dats never a issue )
i always talk to ma parents and never talk to dem.
i am not affectionate,caring towards them.
i dont cook healthy food lyk her for ma DH ( ma DH doesnt want me to cook dos items..wat can i do :bang )
i shouldnt cal ma husband by name ( strict order. how do i cal then ? bt never obeyed:rotfl)
so no wonder m tyrannical...:thumbsup

nemesis · Jan 13, 2014

This thread title is grossly misleading this male member of this forum!

helpmeangel · Jan 13, 2014

PD,

I have not stayed with my PILs even for a week, post marriage. But, the below are her views of me, especially after she got herself a new DIL for my BIL.

1. My co sister is not proud.
2. She does not show anger on her face.
3. She does not talk back to in-laws.
4. She does not sit in front of FIL like an equal.
5. She follows MIL around (like the hutch puppy).
6. She helps in cooking.
7. She does not eat much.
8. She is slim and whiteee. (her exact words, "white")
9. She does not ask her husband(my BIL) for any jewelry and uses what she has.
10. She does not spend money at all.

So she subtly put it that am the exact opposite of her.

I am thinking next time she sings her praises, I am going to tell her "Good that you got a DIL of your liking and traditions..and you got one more modern DIL..got a taste of both..so must be lucky"..or something in the lines of, "since you are so comfortable with her, staying with them will be oh-so-easy when compared to staying with me and DH later on"..

One thing's for sure..am not going to change the way I am, for her..and she can sulk all she wants..

DGcreative · Jan 13, 2014

Ofcourse I am a [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif]tyrannical DIL as per In-laws because:[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif]1) I take my food in my room instead of sitting with her in living room with plate & TV with saas bahu sagas running[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif]2) I share my views & talks with DH. As per her I shouldnt tell anything to DH even if MIL abuses my parents verbally or ill-talks to me....nothing should reach his ears.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif]3) I dont let my son stay with her at SIL. I havent let him stay anywhere else including my parents....but that doesnt matter.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif]4) I have some brains to think what I should do & what I shouldnt...thats bad coz then I dont follow what she asks me to do....[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif]5) I am not religious & dont follow their rituals. I dont even follow my parents rituals either & do anything religious only what I feel from heart....but well that doesnt count.[/FONT]

chillbreeze · Jan 13, 2014

I'm not there yet. As of now, I'm very polite, but expecting to get there soon and will be taking pointers from you ladiesfriendssmiley

gurpreetsingh · Jan 13, 2014

Hi ,
According to my mind , I am so tolerant and take her shoutings and a good dil.. if SOME OTHER person had behaved like her to me , I would have given them back such that they will never ever talk again to me .But according to her

1. I want to be independent
2. I dont care about her family. Only care about myself AND dh
3. I am not running the house properly
4. I am making dh spend too much ( thought I earn good amount)
What ever it is all these comments are told to my husband when he is alone. Or she tells to my hubby in front of me but very sarcastically.

Anyways , her daughter has never taken care of her mil though sil's mil underwent 5 operations within a year. Sil never ever stays at ils house even for one day. Sils shouts at her ils. Sil never ever gives her kid to her mil . But my sil is a super woman with a kind heart and a perfectionist.

So when it comes to their daughter , being tyrannical DIL means she is smart . While for dil , crib endlessly to son