Awesome thread satchi! Like always you started a interesting thread .I have been silent reader of this thread but was not getting courage to post as I feel now a days on IL the trend is more to bash I firmly believe that in any relationship it takes two to tango. It is specially true with in laws, if the relationship is good it is not only because the dil is good or mil is understanding but because both of them want it to work out. I honestly have a good realtionship but there have been few ups and downs. One thing which was a lesson was when I was pregnant and had baby.my mil was very caring and did her best and when the baby was born and they came to visit they got lots of things and gold for baby but no gift for me.I dont usually bother so much about these things but at that time my grandmother and some aunties started saying oh they dont love you, they love grandchild more. Hearing it again and again brainwashed me and I resented my mil, I would think they just bother about my child. Then reading all that stuff on I'L and listening to friends I was sure in laws are not mine and I was the one who made this I versus them in my mind. I never said anything and the relationship was good but there was no warmth as before. I was very affectionate and huggy huggy kinds and now I was but reserved. Everyone observed it and mom told me not to think like that.I would call my mom more to ask for anything related to baby , when they came for baby's naming ceremony I would leave baby wiyh my mom only , my mom was mad and told my mil would take better care of baby than her but I did not trust.when she would take the baby I felt she will separate my baby and me. . See it was I versus them.then I got sick.nothing serious but handling baby and work was too much and mom could not come and my mil was called.she not only took care of the baby but also cared so much for me.simple things like making my favourite stuff. Over the time I felt I was so wrong.she was really trying to help me and was so kind. On my part I was going to destroy the relationship due to my immaturity but thankfully my mom and mil were patient and did not react when I was bit rude , in fact my mom had a talk with my husband saying she was not liking my behavior and was feeling bad and my sil told its ok and to give me some time as I was getting insecure and all that emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy and child birth was too overwhelming, I am so thankful for her wisdom and tact in handling the situation, she also felt it was wrong that they did not follow my traditions .if the relationship had turned sour I was not completely blameless. I know for my in laws their son and grandson will be always more dear than me but then the truth is for me also my mom is more dear no one can come close to her love. But one more thing is in my family we all have a kind of feeling that we are a part of each others life , if we have positive realtionship it is good for everyone. My sil always says I have enough of drama in my inlaws life so I want a good and drama free relationship with you. I have seen when I am loving and kind towards them I have a kind of inner peace but if I am pretending to be nice I have this feeling of somethings is not right. I have also learnt that my husband will be always mine but he is also a son and a brother and any man who is nice and mature will learn to strike a balance.