To avoid the risk of over-generalizing, I am going to speak for myself: I am more tolerant towards the imperfections of my parents or siblings versus my in-laws because my parents have raised me, provided for me, nursed me to health if I was sick, have been part of my physical, emotional, practical journey. There is a feeling of gratitude that helps me continue to connect and relate despite differences. My in-laws have not done anything for me, they hardly even make eye-contact or talk to me - no comparison whatsover. What shortcomings my in-laws find me? Does not matter, none of my business and should not be theirs either. Their son chose me and insisted he wants to marry me. They are related to me merely by circumstance. I have no expectations from them and they should have none from me. Just like my parents are - they do not expect anything from my husband, they respect him as he is for what he is and let him be. The same should apply to my in-laws too - the fact that they can expect me to be this and that and think they have control or a say in my imperfections is a problem for that is never going to happen.