Are Sindoor, Mangalsutra A Choice Or Regressive?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Rihana, Aug 3, 2022.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rihana,

    What a timing to ask this question! I asked one question to a Sanyasi sometime back. He blessed me, "Ayushmann Bhava" and my wife, "Deerga Sumangali Bhava". I asked him why only men are blessed for long life and women are blessed to be a Sumangali.

    He responded, "When I bless a woman that way, I am blessing both of them to live long as Grahastha. In ancient times, the couple used to spend a lot of time performing Yagas for prosperity and those yagas used to bring so much for the society as a whole. They also used to feed the needy people. Even if one of them passes away, they can't perform those rituals. If one prefers to remain single or dedicate life in pursuit of Brahman, one can't perform such actions and only facilitate other Grahasthas performing such actions. Marriage is considered as a sacrifice one makes for the well-being of others. The women by participating in those rituals, get 50% of all the benefits derived when the man actually performs it. That is why womanhood is celebrated on Varalakshmi Vrada."

    Personally, I don't like those rituals of removing the bangles and all mangala items from the women. These are man-made rituals. Once the women lived a Grahastha life, they have already led a great life of sacrifice. If they die with Mangala, they continue to be treated as Sumangali, why not those who are still living as a widow be celebrated? Personally, my preference would be to fight against the man-made evil practice as opposed to losing those wonderful symbols while being a Grahastha.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2022
  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Why is Varamahalakshmi Pooja considered patriarchal? I don’t belong to a patriarchy and we don’t celebrate this Pooja. Im thinking of adding it to my list for my daughter to have something cultural to do.
    Is Gauri Pooja patriarchal? How about navarathri and Diwali?
     
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  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Rarely i read or heard similar explanation in para1.
    I am with para 2.
    Discriminatory practices many have been eliminated like sathi.
    Widowed women head used to be tonsured (shaved) on 7 or 10th day of dead husband. And this widow’s head used to be shaved every month and she cladsin white saree for ever! This practise to almost eliminated.
    Many college going girls stopped sporting pottu or thilak as it doesn’t match with their shirt and trouser attire or corporate uniform.
     
  4. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rihana - I think we should be cautious even of choices we make. We should think about women who come three of four generations beyond us. I feel like when my great mother’s mom had a choice and they chose to add to the wedding rituals the mangal sutra and jewelry giving etc which isn’t a part of our tradition, they didn’t think about girls like Vismaya for whom it is now a norm and not a choice. I never wear my magalsutra for any reason unless it matches my mood. My mom takes offense to it even though she knows traditionally it’s not even our tradition. It’s been ingrained in her since our age old traditions have all been unintentionally replaced by well meaning choices made by someone three generations before her.

    We are raising the next generation Indian Americans. We should proceed with caution here. We don’t want our great grandkids to be stuck with non choices that we only embraced as choices. We want to give them a unique cultural identity(eg me doing Gauri Pooja) but we shouldn’t inadvertently make it a shackle for them.
     
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  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    This.
    Karwachauth,Mangalsutra and even regular wearing of sindoor were never part of our culture. My mom and mom in law never wore either....never kept karwachauth vrat .By my time ,women started keeping karwachauth and I have lost count on how many times I have been made to feel odd for not keeping that fast . It is like I don't care about my 'suhaag'.
    The kind of social pressure there is on the younger generation....most don't dare not keep lest someone accuse them of not wanting their husband alive. Taking away choices in the name of culture is where regression starts.
     
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  6. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Pranitha Subhash's latest picture from Bheemana Amavasya celebration is going viral in which she is seen sitting at the feet of his husband Nitin Raju.
    . In no time, her picture got viral on social media platforms and sparked a debate on Twitter where a section of netizens started calling out the actress for spreading the message of patriarchy and misogyny. They also blamed her for promoting a regressive thought in the 21st century when women are fighting for equality and empowerment.

    This is what she said. Being a modern woman doesn't mean you can't follow traditions you like. Screenshot_20220803-110815_Chrome~2.jpg
     
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  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    This.
    Now this will be used to put pressure on some newly married women to follow , using her as a example . Newly married women in our country are vulnerable because of the pressure on them to adjust and please the ' new family' . This is considered the ' moldable ' phase when the limits of tolerance are tested.
     
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  8. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    True.
    Any woman can follow whatever tradition she wants, but should not be forced to do it.
    Like the bahu massaging the mil and sil's feet as part of their culture
     
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  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @chanchitra

    DIL massaging the feet of MIL can be called "Massageny" for lack of better term available for that.
     
  10. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    :roflmao:
     
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