Are people with fair skin treated better generally ???

Huh??? That's enough for David Letterman for a few episodes.

 

I'm seriously thinking of switching fields and getting a degree in special Ed along with ABA. If my son integrates, I wish to use this experience and the education to go back to India and start an EI play school for the people who cannot afford expensive therapies. If my son needs extensive interventions, I wish to stay back and work for an economically disadvantaged school district and do the same. School districts here expect masters degrees though for sped teachers. I wish I have the drive and the money to go back and start from scratch and see it through.

Hey, I haven't told that to anyone other than my dh. Now all of you know.

 

@hridhaya - when my dd was born, I was super happy that she took after my sis and mil skin colour wise. As she grew older, she kept hearing about how my sister looks better in traditional attire, bright colors, Mom's jewelry, etc etc etc. I think she got it in her head that being like my sister was beautiful. Even now she beams when someone says she resembles my sister. She has asked me a few times as to why she is like her grand mother colour wise and like her father for her features. I just told her that is exactly what I desired while she was in my tummy. Chiseled features and my Mil's flawless skin. Even today she doesn't have a single blemish or wrinkle. After reinforcing that a few times, she is fine.
I don't care about hair and make up and other stuff. She is like any other teen. In schools they are allowed to wear make up and do their hair. She loves it, especially after our stint in India. I think I'm the wrong role model for eye liner/shadow/lip gloss ban. I use make up myself. I have seen that she doesn't wear much other than a moisturizer /eye liner to school. @shanvy is better for tips on how to not get much into such things. Personally, I don't see any downside. She is a very confident teen, a born leader and very good academically. I keep reinforcing that beauty without brains is of no use!

The books are a great idea. Use them!

 

Initially I thought it was a spoof, something that you would find on Unreal times or Faking news. Then I thought the guy was drunk. Such incoherence!! And to think this guy got the best parlimentarian award!!!:bonk

For once I appreciate Kanimozhi, she had the gall to stand up to him. Wonder what the other women MPs were doing... smiling coyly like the woman selector in Chak de India perhaps!

@laks09 and @guesshoo, I know kids have inherent traits but parenting also goes a long way in influencing certain traits of kids. What did you guys do to raise such self-confident kids?

@laks09, you have such an altruistic goal worth pursuing. As a special ed teacher I am sure you will bring all that passion in your role. On a related and lesser note, I have been thinking of doing a teaching course with emphasis on math ( I spend so much time teaching my kids math!); so @Gauri03, how is the job market for math major or for education majors?

 

@butterflyice - Best parliamentarian, indeed! Hope you saw the happenings in the Kerala assembly yesterday. Toddlers are better behaved. These are the people whom we entrust the nation to. I'm disappointed. If there is one thing that will never change in India that's the politicians. Wonder when they will learn to behave.

@guesshoo, @shanvy are the best persons for very valuable child rearing tips. I wish guesshoo was around while my dd was little.

From personal experience, these kiddos no matter what we try and "teach" them, they seem to learn what we do. I can sit and lecture for hours together but my dd will do what she sees me do. Once when she was two, we were having an argument. My dh told me something like "you are crazy", in a very harsh tone. She kept saying "Amma crazy, I won't go to her" for the next couple of days. She probably didn't know what crazy meant but she knew what Daddy's tone and body language meant. From that day forward, we present a united front to the children. My dh treats me with great respect and I do the same. We treat her the same, we give her a lot of respect. It helps immensely when kids aren't thinking of us as hitlers.

I used to keep nagging and asking her to light the lamp in the AM and chant a mantram before she heads out because I did it after the kids went to school. Wondered why that didn't happen. I moved my schedule around. Now I wake up early and light the lamp first thing in the AM. She doesn't miss her mantrams a single day. She usually wakes up, bathes and gets ready before coming down. She tells me seeing the lamp encourages her to go pray.

I was never a confident kid. I was shy and timid. Actually, only in college did I learn confidence. I didn't want my daughter to be shy and reserved like me. Right from the begining I modeled a very confident Mom. We did a lot of mom and me classes together where anything that needed to be done, I'd be the first parent to go jump in and do it along with her. I learned to dance and for any party I would run with full confidence and start dancing the moment someone opens up the dance floor. I have two left feet but I love to go dance anyway. My dd would come and join me. Probably that helped.

None of the princess stories left any profound impact. What Mom and Dad does with each other and with her leaves an impact. Even now, if one of us says no, she knows she has no way out. Even if the other person wants to say yes, we automatically make it a no. She has stopped going to the other parent if one doesn't give permission. She is smart enough to find the weaker parent and take us for a royal ride. We had to innovate to keep our heads above the water.

I'm sure you'll do fine. We all learn as we go. I'm sure you are already doing great.

Workwise, if you are research oriented a mathematician is always in need. If you can teach though, I would give it a serious thought. Such a dearth of good math teachers around. I always ended up teaching her myself. Practicality was never taught to them. Now, for the past two yrs she has had an amazing teacher. I find that a rarity in math. All other subject teachers seem to be doing alright. We still discuss stuff like why do we need geometry when I'm not going to become a mathematician!