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Are marriages made in heaven?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Huma, Jun 12, 2007.

  1. Huma

    Huma Silver IL'ite

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    hi ladies

    if marriage is made from heaven why for some of us ...it's like hell.

    could someone explain to me?

    thank u

    bye
     
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  2. Blondie

    Blondie Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: made in heaven?

    Huma,
    people who believe marraiges are fixed (made) in heaven......

    1.believe that god decides whom they will get married to

    2. Happens at the time that god has decided

    3. If it is a happy marraige...it is god's way of rewarding them for good deeds done in previous births (poorva janmala punya phalam)

    4. if it is an unhappy marraige...it is god's way of punishing them for sins committed in the previous birth (poorva janmala paapa phalam)

    5. If it is inbetween for sin free previous birth.

    there are a lot of sayings in telugu that go something like:

    how much she/he must have sinned in the previous birth to deserve this type of husband/wife

    OR

    how much punyam (what is the correct word in english good deeds ??) she/he must have done to get such a good husband/wife

    Now for people who are not religiously inclined don't believe so and happiness/unhappiness is just a state of mind which is highly dependent on chemical balances/imbalances and heaven or hell is all theirs to make out of their marraiges if no physical abuse is involved.

    All people can handle good times. But some/most cannot handle bad times and it affects them more than those who have skills ways to handle bad situations. However mentally abusive a spouse is, some can deal with it and in the end change their spouses for the better while some cannot and end up in unhappy marraige for both.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2007
  3. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: made in heaven?

    hi Huma,

    good question, but i dont have answer? sometimes i feel God is there take take care then why he is making marriage a hell for some people. poorva janma phalam i don't understand when i see a newly wedded bride is burned to death or when i see a child lying in street begging. even if it is this janmas phalam then also new born baby hasn't done any sin and newly wedded bride is not spoiling anyone's life. then i feel sometimes God is also doing mistake and we pay for that. now a days we can see so many couples try to keep their marriage go long way but it breaks, it means Man proposes God disposes. if it is poorva janma s phalam then its God's fault carry on system of karmas to another birth must be stopped, hope God will understand after this kalyug.

    bye
     
  4. Dewdrop

    Dewdrop Gold IL'ite

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    Re: made in heaven?

    On a lighter note, Marriage is 'made' in heaven , but 'lived' right here on earth ! :tongue
    Not only marriage, everything also fromspouse, children, our health, lifespan etc. is already destined ... we're just following the path laid out for us .
    And therein lies the challenge, of creating a heaven like home on earth .

    Love,
    Dew.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. ilagandhi

    ilagandhi New IL'ite

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    Re: made in heaven?

    Dewdrop has a point. It's all about what you make with what you are dealt with.
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. Tulasi

    Tulasi Silver IL'ite

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    Re: made in heaven?

    Hey,
    Even I agree with Dewdrop and i don't belive that marriages are made in heaven and what ever we get is poorva janma karma what ever no body knows wheather we had previous janma or going to be one next....i belive most of us make choices while marrying either its arranged or love marriage...and also as long as we are kind and unhurtfull to others we should not put up with any crap from anybody thinking this is my fate or this my poorva karma something like that....people should make like heaven in any given situation by looking at positives insted focusing on negatives or thinking why its happening to me or
    iam unlucky...then life feels happy..I thinik..
     
  7. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: made in heaven?

    Well I think we bring God for every inexplicable aspect of our life. So I dont agree with concept of marriages made in heaven.. If it was so.. I think we would born with our souse linked to us.. Which is definitely not the case...
    I rather find relations like parents and siblings..made in heaven.. cos we are born with it.. and we cannt change it.. Someone who accepts you at conditions.. how can that be related to God... God doesn't put condition for His acceptance for us..

    Than how come ugly aspects of marriage be explained by Godly angle..

    -- people measure fairness,figure, slimness...every minute physical aspect before deicding their spouse..
    -- They even expect them to bring amount of cash to be accepted...

    In its current form, I dont think marriage can be compared to somethign related to god.. It s pure deal for many people...God doesnt give u deals to believe in him...
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: made in heaven?

    I think the word 'Heaven' is related to the feeling of happiness we experience during the time of marriage.
    Whenever we feel happy, we express those feelings in words like (vaanatthil parappathu pol erukku) eat good food,(devaamrutham aaga erukku) visit good places( Sorgam da ithu) etc.
    I think the word Heaven is the superlative degree for highest peak in happiness. It has nothing to do with the marriage. i agree with other Ilites who had stated that it is in our hands to make it or mar it. Maybe it is poorva janma phalm. But nowadays there are ways to amend it.
    They say that God has no say in the happenings of our lives. It is our Karma which does everything, which in return, means it is our actions that made us to be in the present situation. We don't know what we did during our last birth but with the help of God we can make it a little bit easier to handle the situation, in this birth.
    Sriniketan
     
  9. Blondie

    Blondie Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: made in heaven?

    Hello ladies,

    Happy to see that ALL of the ladies here fall in the second mold of thinking that I presented in my response to Huma:) . I did not specify what my thoughts were since Huma's question was if marraiges are made in heaven then why is it for some it is like hell. So I answered for both sides of the IF (true,then....false,then). Seeing a very popular religious thread with things like slokas for garbha raksham and all just wanted to see what the response will be for this old fashioned notion of 'it is the destiny that god has written for you' AND I AM HAPPY THAT NO ONE BELIEVES IN IT:tongue

    Seems all of you had missed my very scientific sounding explanation of 'Its all in your mind' as long as no Physical abuse is involved. Padma, for your point of bride burning, the bride's parents should not have let it go so far if the bride has let them know what is going on at her in-laws place(most of the times parents have sent their daughter's back to the abusive in-laws place) before the unmentionable happened. If proven so ALL should be jailed.

    What ever the mental/emotional status is line should be drawn that no one has the right to commit bodily harm to another and there should be strict law enforcement. Here in US if you show a bruise on you and say so and so caused it that so and so would be in lockup.(but stil domestic violence is rampant here because the victim is unwilling to admit that they are victimized). So mental strength does play a role in deciding if you want to be remaining a victim OR you want to do something about it yourself.

    Glad all the ladies here(who have responded so far) proved that they want to be in control of their own destinies.

    As per my own thinking.........I would like to keep you all guessing:wave
     
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