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are all men like this?is this normal for a married guy?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by aishwarya156, Nov 12, 2009.

  1. mayaC

    mayaC New IL'ite

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    Generalising all husbands or most men into a category is not right. Everyone is so different and trying to compare with others would only aggrevate your problem. Try to take it easy, like one of the member mentioned try to keep him busy play watch movies,tv etc. Try to add some spice to your romantic life by doing some unexpected thing physically ( i cant mention) things will settle down once you have kids and stuff. Good luck
     
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Agree that no solution fits all. Somehow the above sounds like my baby was a "baby conceived by ****". Far from it. We went through a bunch of infertility treatments, and those needed making love on demand. We used to watch only about 10-15 min of the video, as using any lubricants also was not feasible. I guess yoga would be like filter coffee and adult videos like instant coffee.
    I have already acknowledged that it varies from case to case, including OP's problem:
    I still see nothing wrong with it in moderation. I am not saying it is OK for every one or should be accepted by every husband and wife. But, rather than being a taboo and completely forbidden, it deserves a healthy, open discussion between husband and wife.

    Sometimes when I am reading a fiction book, if it contains some graphic details, or if my DH is watching some clip in youtube, and feels romantic, we seek out each other.

    -Rihana
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2009
  3. Anchored

    Anchored New IL'ite

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    Rihana,

    I guess you are missing the pivotol point here - you are BOTH doing it. And you did it in consesus. The OP's post is not about watching **** is good or bad; right or wrong! She is nopt focussing on the merits or perils of ****. Her problem is that her husband is doing something that she is

    1. not comfortable with
    2. not happy with
    3. feels disrespected due to
    4. is kind of a cheating that hurts her

    So, this is about a husband doing something that the wife is neither a part of nor wants to be a part of. When a couple does something TOGETHER that both agree with then there is no issue. Even is they gamble, indulge in swinging or whatever...as long as they are both on the same page, you would not see a problem posted here. This is simply a case of a wife not happy with a certain activity of her husband's. It could be his being a mama's boy, his being a sports addict, his being an alcoholic...in this case it is about watching ****!

    And, I am glad to hear that it worked for you. Personally, I see nothing wrong in anything when both the wife and husband are enjoying it together. The point is that in the act of doing so, you were still important for your husband. He was doing it with you, for you and thinking about you while doing so. You get the point, right? In OP's case, she is almost being replaced- and that is hurting here. Watching **** for enjoying sex life WITH YOUR WIFE vis-a-vis watching it for enjoying sex life sans your wife are two different planets. It's a relationship issue not an issue of ****...
     
  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Anchored,

    I totally got the problem that OP is having. That is why I said at the starting of my first response:
    In the OP's case, he is doing it alone, being secretive about it, not involving her even if she asks to be included, and it is having an undesired effect on their sex and married life. They need to sort it out as a serious relationship problem. The solution is not a simple one of he stop watching it totally.

    The rest of whatever else I have said here is in response to posts that look on **** or adult videos as something to be avoided completely, very bad things and that wreck marriages. I am trying to say that in moderation it is not a bad thing at all.

    To reiterate, the OP's husband definitely has a problem, is not being fair to her and both of them, needs to change some habits. But, at the same time, watching some adult videos (alone or together) sometimes is not something that needs to be avoided like the plague.

    -Rihana
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2009
  5. ushae

    ushae Silver IL'ite

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    Agreed.

    For few, nothing is required to " start"
    For some, Candle light dinner is enough
    For some, Romantic dresses are needed
    For some, Romantic novels are wanted
    For some, "good" films
    For some , "light ****" matters

    It all depends on person to person
     
  6. mrsmanzoor

    mrsmanzoor Senior IL'ite

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    If your husband watches Porxx this doesn't mean that he is not trust worthy, i think its been a long time that both have enjoyed a good time with each other, and there will be big break in spending time. So that might have attracted your husband to watch porxx on internet. Don't be too worried bout this, just talk to him and spend some quality time with him.
    What I have observed that after marriage Men & Women they don't don't spend Quality Time with each other, which is very much necessary. try to make most tof the time which u both have, and in ur situation U have to take initiative to talk to ur husband and don't let him spend too much time on internet to avoid him from watching porxx
    SEXxx if not done on regular intervals becomes frustration, so many men to get rid of this frustration watches PORxxx and then visualize those things to masterbxxx.
    Its quite natural in all men I Guess. Don't worry Just talk to your husband.
     

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