Anyone There Separated Due To Intimacy Issues?

If the issue is lack of initimacy, then your problem doesn't come to an end after separation. Because separation doesn't guarantee an active sex life.
You either need to re-marry or enter into casual sex (which unlikely to happen in Indian society)

Re-marriage with 2 kids at your middle age is not easy. But that isn't impossible
However, you will not be heard right, rather judged by many (including your own family) if you sight lack of sex life as a reason now. You may be labeled and termed as bad woman.
Although your concerns are very valid, they are hard to prove.
Because you have 2 kids, they are the gifts from active sex life.

If you are mentally strong and not gonna bother about this social judgement, I guess you can opt for separation on this ground. It is valid, and you can probably win the case.

You can get a good chunk of alimony, and maintenance support for the kids from your husband.
If you can grow advance in your career, you may feel independent with what you have.
But that's not the solution for your main problem.

Finding a sex partner... Now, it is not easy unless you go for a romantic date with someone.
See whether it is still practical in your community if you still consider yourself a common woman of India

 

I will be very frank..when you know how hard it is to get married when someone already has 2 kids, hell even with 1 kid- its super hard, then don't u think u have already shut all doors for yourself by getting second time pregnant....Now remarriage for u with a NICE man is practically impossible !! ASK anyone and if they want to tell you the right facts, they would say exactly what I am saying !

So you have dug up a big hole for yourself as u r not getting intimacy/dissatisfied intimacy wise from this marriage n neither remarriage with NICE man is possible given your situation!

 

@Mangojuice100

More and more Indian people in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s are getting divorced. Hey, middle-class senior citizens are also getting divorced and some are choosing to remarry in their 60s and 70s - beat that! Look it up - it's in the papers. So the society around us in indian cities has changed and is increasingly less judgmental. It's not the India we grew up in for sure. Plus the way you're viewed really depends on your social circle. You're always going to run into petty minded, judgmental people anywhere in the world - projecting their small minded views on everyone else around them. It's not a reflection of society but rather a reflection of the kind of people they are and their lack of exposure to the world. It would be stupid if educated women live their lives less fully due to fear of commentary from such types of people.

Being divorced with kids as I see it can be an advantage in one way - atleast your reproductive goals are done and out of the way. So you need not rush to remarriage to find a partner to accomplish having a family etc. You can take your time to find a mate who meets your needs at your own pace.

I really think you should view divorce less from the perspective of how you're going to be judged and more from the perspective of your own mental health. If being in the marriage makes you clinically depressed, destroys your self worth, and you are positive you will be happier just exiting the marriage whether or not you find anyone else, you are better off leaving. No point in being married if it's just going to lead to an early death - yours that is

 

I think anything is possible - one can say options may not be plentiful like it is in one's early 20s. But declaring it's all over, and totally not going to happen is a big stretch IMHO.

 

Analyzing your self-worth based on how much sex you had is first off not right. A great amount of sex is not going to keep your any extra positive. It does get boring no matter how amazing it could have taken off in the beginning with a new partner.

As you say, "everything is fine except sex", so talk to your dh about it "directly" and see what he says. It is not very hard to convince an understanding dh

 

who has intimacy issue? is it you or him has issue?

 

What do you mean by an intimacy problem? That both of you are not seeing things eye to eye? That there are basic differences between the ways you two look at things? Or it is physical intimacy, that you meant? Another uncertain term you have used....separation. In legal parlance, the separation is a temporary thing to assess the effect ot to create an atmosphere where by a proper decision can be arrived .

Otherwise, your case , as narrated by you in the post, can be best addressed by a Chartered Accountant. He will put the pluses on one side, and the minuses on the other side and then draw the final conclusion. I am neither a lawyer nor an advocate, not even read philosophy to pass heavy lectures. But I feel, your life, your kids lives are reality and they need real support i.e wherewithal. Your kids do not know what are psychological issues, that can mar real lives. They need food shelter, health, education affection etc. If you deprive them of this, which their father is competent to afford, only for your so called intimacy problem, you will be acting selfish. Intimacy of any kind is after all psychological things which can be sorted out by personal approach. Get rid of ego, and put it straight to him and see what happens. If you can impress and he responds positively, it is alright. But, if you fail, endure the pangs for the sake of your innocent kids, as you have not found a solid harbor where your ship of life can safely anchor. The surest effect of a tentative action is destruction. Decide yourself, will you invite that?

 

Intimacy can be base for divorce but as per Indian Law, absence of sex should be proven for certain years. It is not in your case as you are carrying second child which certainly not had without sex. Also it will be hard to prove about lack of intimacy since two pregnancies doesn’t mean that you had sex only two time.

Now above 2 points of yours are bring doubt that it a troll. Giving benefit of doubt, you can please yourself without guilt, there is nothing wrong in it. Second is hypothetical situation, bringing may happen type situation to ruin your present.

Have you discussed with your husband your desire to have more sex? Discuss & find solution.