Anyone Having Kids At Home In Pandemic

sanjuruby3 · Jun 9, 2021

Hi,
Its been long time now with kids at home and i feel so bad about myself not able to concentrate on anything related to office and so tried all the time.
My older one is about to finish her grade remotely and toddler is super active right, screaming all the time morning to evening, demanding attention, TV or outside.
I am the one doing everything for him. H either plays phone to him or screams. And he watches all the time anyways and he knows his dad is easy access so he goes to him.
It is giving me lot of stress and i get anger bouts at him... I want to throw him ,push him.. when he does not stop crying on me, pulling me hitting me all the time... or pushing me from something constantly.
Later i feel guilt but i am fully stressed out with my kids.
We think about daycare but then find out some friend or another ( after vaccinated) contracting because kid was going to school or daycare.

Some other friends also have kids at home, that makes me think, to keep mine also. Also, they have parents help but not us and my H is not as useful and patient as hers. And I am not as patient as her .
On and Off i feel very positive but his screaming, not napping, resist to nap by constant scream, not going to bed on time, getting up running away, morning getting up early, again screaming for everything, lack of sleep makes me tired.

My older one does not do her homework before 11. She does not get to it before 9.30 then keeps moving.
So he won't sleep till there is full dark in the house.
He is not sleeping as much he should. Same age kids sleep 12 hours but he sleeps 8 hours hardly, because of his new TV additiction. He knows bothering dad means TV.

What to do. I am taking some time off next weekend, but house work/chores does not make it easy. Then my H without my consent is booking vacation. I want to rest but no.. each trip outside home tires me more, these days.

MalStrom · Jun 9, 2021

Where do you live that vaccinated people are getting Covid? Most of the childcare providers in my area are fully vaccinated and back to being open at full capacity and full hours. I would go insane if I had to watch my toddler and work. My employer would also not tolerate this.
I would get started on lining up childcare right now unless you plan to get a nanny. At least in my area a lot of daycares closed during the pandemic and demand is very high for the ones that are currently open. It will only get worse as more people head back into the office after Labor Day.

sanjuruby3 · Jun 10, 2021

That is what is happening with me.. i am going crazy. My employer is fine as many have kids at home but i am the one with kids that younger and myself too old for patience and H even less impatient.
I feel like i am going to explode something and today was the worst. I was too bad with my son.
Which is why i feel like he needs to go. I am becoming violent which is worse than getting covid.

We have no bonding between H and me which is making matters worse

MalStrom · Jun 10, 2021

Join your toddler in a daycare. All the reputable ones are operating safely. It will be better for him and for you.

lavani · Jun 10, 2021

it is not issue with younger or elder. mine is in grade 3. he would sit and watch ipad whole day rather read 1 book. you need both support.

as @MalStrom , is the right thing. day care is better option. so it frees you to see only 1 elder one.

GoneGirl · Jun 10, 2021

Hi Sanjuruby,

I think you are trying to multitask and manage something that is feasible for a day or week, but not for months together. What you describe here (stress and anger bouts) is worrisome to me, and to me right now that seems like a greater concern than COVID. Your husband seems oblivious to your suffering and is not very helpful. Its going to be lot harder when the vacation starts and you have to manage both of them for the whole day.

If I were in that position, would use all the help I can. Find a nanny who is vaccinated to watch and help with both kids, better option than sending them both to daycare. Helps everyone, esp you, as you will not be exhausted at the end of day and would be able to spend some quality time with the kids. I have had good experience with care.com and you have to do it fast as it’s nearing summer and schools will be off soon and am guessing lot of people will be needing childcare.

nuss · Jun 10, 2021

My kids’ school year is over and they are at home now full time. I took 3 weeks off (although I am working from home and swing by work as needed). It is impossible to do full time work and be a full time parent. It’s just not possible with little kids.

Our kids will be going to a summer camp starting from the last week of June. For our family this is the best case scenario. I get to spend quality time with them for 3 weeks and then I am back to normal working hours. What my friends or other parents do is not what I consider. Every family has different needs and they work accordingly.

I would suggest that you find a daycare for your younger one and a virtual or in person camp for few hours for the older one. This will give you a break and you will be able to enjoy being with the kids!

nuss · Jun 10, 2021

GoneGirl said: ↑

Hi Sanjuruby,

I think you are trying to multitask and manage something that is feasible for a day or week, but not for months together. What you describe here (stress and anger bouts) is worrisome to me, and to me right now that seems like a greater concern than COVID. Your husband seems oblivious to your suffering and is not very helpful. Its going to be lot harder when the vacation starts and you have to manage both of them for the whole day.

If I were in that position, would use all the help I can. Find a nanny who is vaccinated to watch and help with both kids, better option than sending them both to daycare. Helps everyone, esp you, as you will not be exhausted at the end of day and would be able to spend some quality time with the kids. I have had good experience with care.com and you have to do it fast as it’s nearing summer and schools will be off soon and am guessing lot of people will be needing childcare.
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I second this!

lavani · Jun 10, 2021

nuss said: ↑

My kids’ school year is over and they are at home now full time. I took 3 weeks off (although I am working from home and swing by work as needed). It is impossible to do full time work and be a full time parent. It’s just not possible with little kids.

Our kids will be going to a summer camp starting from the last week of June. For our family this is the best case scenario. I get to spend quality time with them for 3 weeks and then I am back to normal working hours. What my friends or other parents do is not what I consider. Every family has different needs and they work accordingly.

I would suggest that you find a daycare for your younger one and a virtual or in person camp for few hours for the older one. This will give you a break and you will be able to enjoy being with the kids!
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yes. we are as human as they are . one cannot expect a single person to cook , clean and watch the kids.

it takes huge emotional and physical commitment to watch another person and nouriish. you have to feel ok inside to spend a quality time.

sanjuruby3 · Jun 11, 2021

true... i am looking for summer camps for older one now. My younger one has sensed our weakness and looks for phone all the time and does not nap well.
3 weeks off is good idea. I split my vacation 2 days every few weeks from now... its not like after 3 weeks i will be free from them so we alternate vacation me and H.

am thinking on maths/ or kumon for older one. She does not like physical activity and its been lot of gap last 1.5 yrs in her studies. I could not focus on her.