Hi Friends, I have recently started working after a very long break and my job is at a big corporate. Some of my colleagues are 5-6 years younger than me and I am facing a hard time getting friendly with them. They are at an age where I was five years back and so my thinking and interaction is very different from theirs. They seem to get too personal and ask questions which I would like no one asked me (eg. why you don't have kids after so many years of marriage, why did you enter an arranged marriage, did you love your husband when you decided to get married :bonk etc.) Sometimes they are downright rude too, although I do not mind since I have many young cousins of the same age as my colleagues, and am used to their tantrums. I am not blaming anyone, in fact I understand why they ask such personal questions bluntly. Sometimes I feel like a dinosaur among these younger colleagues(though just 5-6 yrs difference in our ages). How can I tackle this? I noticed that other ladies who are the same age as me are much more focused on their work and maintain a respectful distance even while getting friendly. I would so much like to be in their company, but since I am working after a break most of the employees that work in the same position as mine are younger. I must admit that I do enjoy their energy and feel much younger when in their company. Still I wish they would be a little more professional with me and not bombard me with personal queries. I don't want to talk about personal stuff, any way I can handle them without losing my mind?
hi Soumya, Me Also Faced some time with this problem.Do not Take these in to heart. Try to spend less time with them. If you felt free chat with your other friends through Online.Talk with them general things. Try to find collelegue same age as you.then It will go. Thanks Anitha
I know what you mean, seriously! With all the downs you said, there are some advantages with them one of which is, they love to lend helping hand. And yes I agree how irritating it would be when they expect us to share our personals not minding the age difference. But I have learnt that they will listen and also obey diligently if I say "Please don't ask these questions again"! They won't take it to heart, like someone who is older than you would. If you say that once as politely as possible, they will stop their questions and also warn their close friends. If this tiny issue is cleared, I am telling you, younger people are sure fun to be with. Sometimes we can't cope up with their pace due to our personal commitments, which sometimes leave me depressed that I am too old for them. But we know our limits. After all work is just a part of our life, but we spend our most active hours there. So we MUST make it fun for us. ILT
You are handling it just fine, by yourself saying, directly 'don't ask'. You are friendly with the younger group and they are just curious about life beyond work. That's all. As you say, some of your peers maintain a personal space or gap and that keeps them at a distance. I would take it easy, and enjoy the time around with the younger crowd. As you say, it does creates an enthusiasm, looking forward to be at work, and makes feel good (to be popular around!). Myself, I enjoy my time around the younger crowd and helping them with their career. In fact, I voluntarily introduce myself to them when ever a new comer arrives, to show them the ropes around. Some of them, became good friends, for ever. I have seen some of them from, single, married, having kids, sending their kids to high school, etc I would say, it is good networking & communication skills to have.
What you are facing is not new and it is not only among peers. I am handling a new project in which most of the team is new and has been transferred into this project quite recently. I tried breaking the ice by joining them for lunch. Immediately i was bombarded with their questions and opinions about everything under the sun. I told them firmly that they can talk about non-personal stuff like sports, shopping, etc. But my family matters are not open for discussion. Currently, i have a good rapport with them and join them for lunch but the conversation is mostly about non-personal stuff.
