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Any brahmin married to other caste guys and in-laws not ok..

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sweetmommy, Jun 15, 2010.

  1. archanaavinash

    archanaavinash New IL'ite

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    Hi!
    I have a similar problem...!! I am a Iyer Girl married to a guy from another caste. But my parents & his parents dint have a problem to get us married. Until today, being married for 2 & half years my parents don't treat my DH as a boy from outer caste. They treat him like their own son! but my MIL is not like that. From the time we got married she has been finding faults with me. So much of cold war has happened. She has used real bad words on me & my up bringing. She tries & forces her view point on me. Its not just about religious things, i don't mind doing any Pooja or anything in their style. It doesnt matter to me. but she cant keep the house clean & i am a cleanliness freak. For me the house needs to look like a "martha Stewart" home. But she doesn't care about me & my feelings. She cant even keep the kitchen clean. She will not sweep the house for days together. Even worse, she doesn't even clean the "pooja room" or light lamp regularly. Once in a blue moon, she will remove the dried flowers. SO! this is my MIL in short. but if you look at her. She will dress like she is 20 or 25! too much make up! & too much glamor ...
    She forces her view point on the way i want to raise my son. Over the last 2 & half years...so much of problems...so much of fights...!! I remember her not making food only for me when i was pregnant & working. She has made me starve when i was pregnant.
    She has behaved so cheeply in front of my cousins & relatives. I have no feelings for this woman now. She might have given birth to the man i love. But why shud i love her, when she doesnt love me?! I have had enough of her.... 6 months ago when me & my husband were in India we had a huge fight & i walked out of their house. My husband supported me bcoz he knew what she & his father said was not right.

    its been over 6 months now, & i still dont talk to them...my DH talks to them regularly ...but i dont...

    Its hard ...when i got married .i too came with dreams of gelling with them...but they have broke my heart & me...
     
  2. Stephane

    Stephane Senior IL'ite

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    Upper cast ???

    Moderators : please donot encourage these kind of posts
     
  3. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Yes, I was ROFL! reading that. What is the top caste/upper caste/lower caste/lowest caste thingy about? :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2010
  4. rsk11584

    rsk11584 Silver IL'ite

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    WElcome to INDIA :rotfl:rotfl:rotfl
     
  5. sweetmommy

    sweetmommy New IL'ite

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    wow...great replies ladies and gentlemen !!
    Thanks Srila1234 :) ....When I read you post it was like reading my mind...
    That's the same question I ask everyone who tells me that I blindly have to follow my DH traditions and forgo mine..what ????

    I am ready to follow any rituals and poojas as long as I don't need compromise my beliefs.....But for the sake of the man I love the most I am ok to be flexible here and there..But again I will never loose my identity....I perform all the stuff that my mom does during festivals and my MIL is not a big fan of rituals..so she hardly asks me to follow anything....But if asked I will not say NO...

    My perception here is....When the man you love is understanding and lovable then any other force is null...In that case why loose your individuality...this personality of mine - I grew up seeing my mom doing poojs for god at 4.am in the morning and doing so many vrathas...and following so many rituals on festivals....I never want to forgo that inherited quality of hers..never...

    Apologies If i have hurted anyone..

    PS:By god's grace,my MIL is good enough to let me be ME...On the day I started this thread,I guess it was a NOT a good day for my MIL...Anyways things have been going great so far..Thanks
     
  6. pandu123

    pandu123 New IL'ite

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    dear sweetmommy,

    i hope you are doing well with your husband and in-lawws.

    can you please telll me how you convinced your parents for your marrige?
    im a brahmin, in love with a non brahmin guy. finding it tooo difficult to convince my parents for accepting him.
    can u please suggest?
     

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