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Another drama

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by akruti9, Sep 23, 2010.

  1. akruti9

    akruti9 Senior IL'ite

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    Maya I know my attitude is wrong but you won't believe the mountain of dishes pile up everyday I go home even if no cooking just imagine the sadisam the fun she is having in just throwing dishes in sink and expecting that wow we are making hers logg. God will punish her for sure. I am sorry to say but I don't think I am wrong in thinking this way.
    If she was 60 year old I would say it is ok but she is only in herearly 50s and she cooks and cleans in her daughetr's house what do you call that?
    Friends I gaines only two pounds this month ( fourth month) and when I came home and said that to my MIL she says good. 2 pounds is fine hwo much more should you gain afterwrads you canot reduce that weight. I hope there are happy days in future of not atleast now.
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2010
  2. YingYang

    YingYang Senior IL'ite

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    Wow! so many suggestions on akruti's post. But Akruti is still not able to resolve the issue.

    I must say, "Akruti, contributes in the class but does not follow direction." :rotfl
     
  3. chotabheem

    chotabheem Gold IL'ite

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    Akruti!
    Dont do the dishes thats it. let them lie in the kitchen sink. u r tired and u go sleep, if she insists u to do it tell her u will hire a maid. Tell her doc has prescribed maximum rest. to work eihter at home or offce not everywhere.
    As long as u go on doing it, she iwll expect more from u, just dont care like the way she cares for u! dump the dishes and take rest!

    Its easy to do the dramas,act giddy in front ofher and lie down on the sofa!
     
  4. akruti9

    akruti9 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Friends,

    Thanks a lot to all of your advices. Well, finally I am in my 5<SUP>th</SUP> month and my belly is showing J so just dealing with the normal routines at home and work. FIL left Mil sometimes cooking sometimes don’t sometimes cleaning sometimes don’t. I really don’t care. I am going home taking rest eating something cleaning whenever I am free doing some pooja and sleeping. Just trying to be positive. Since the day I changed my outlook my mind believe it or not my MIL is not looking like an enemy to me. She is looking like a person who came to help me Let’s see how long it will last though J.
    Well friends future has become present and My Brother’s marriage is 90% fixed in December. It will be finalized in this Sunday last talks. After that I and my parents have to start the convincing drama of me going to India for my brother’s marriage. My parents have to convince my FIL in India and I have to convince my Mil at my home. Well friends wish me luck that I should be calm and there should not be any tsunamis or hurricanes at home and that I should be able to go to India in December. Any ideas to convince my inlaws politely and assertively rather than getting rude, aggressive and going against their wishes? Your suggestions have helped me a lot so I need your ideas in this matter as well. Please give me your valuable advices in a positive way….:cheers:coffee thanks in advance:)
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2010
  5. shrikala

    shrikala Senior IL'ite

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    glad to know about the progress akruti. the only way i could think of now is, maintian your nice behavior, avoid fights or any thing that would lead to fight. then consult ur doctor if it is ok to fly in december/ur 7th month.
    in my place they say, pregnant lady's wishes shd be fulfilled. so instill this idea slowly. if mil says travel is not good and all then tell they said physical work is needed for good preg, so you are fit to travel and nothing will happen. one of my friend traveled during her 7th/8th month to india (about 30 hours since she lived in west coast at that time and flight duration and routes are dreaded)
    good luck.
     
  6. akruti9

    akruti9 Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks Shrikala . In Dec it will be my 6th month and I have only two weeks vacation left this year so I have to be back in dec only. So It is only matter of two weeks and in 6th month let's see what will happen.
     
  7. Muskaan7

    Muskaan7 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Akruti,

    Have read all your earlier threads, in fact I remember replying to you in one of them earlier in the year. Good to know you are pregnant - congrats! Reading your posts makes me feel that things are improving at least 10% from what they were earlier, you are able to assert yourself and doing the things you want to do and not give in easily.

    Coming to your current issue of brother's marriage, it is your brother who is getting married, why do you have to take permission from your inlaws? Once it gets fixed, either tell your MIL in passing or maybe let your husband tell your MIL that Akruti will be going in Dec for her brother's marriage and THAT IS IT. Who are they to stop you from going for your brother's wedding? Only make sure you get the okay from your doctor to fly during that time.

    Will they tie you and keep you if you say you want to go? Be very firm even with your hubby and say that you want to go and are going. Let her do her dramas, when she does it, you go into your room or go somewhere outside. If she asks you directly, say that yes it is my brother and I would like to be there at his wedding.

    Best of luck!
     
  8. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Akruti

    Reg. your brothers marriage...you are answerable ONLY to your husband..now whom he would contact to get approval is HIS HEADACHE. Yes let your parents inform your inlaws formally once the marriage is fixed...and also let them know that they are expecting their Daughter and SNIL to be there at the wedding along with your inlaws and it would be a great happy moment etc..etc...thats it. no need to convince or beg.

    You talk to your husband and tell him that you have to attend this wedding and you dont want to listen to any other reasons or explanations. How he manages to send you for the wedding is his headache and that you would keep calm till the tickets are booked and that you dont want to talk or discuss this matter with anyone else except your husband.

    Lay down the rule. and stick to it. if anyone asks whether you are going or not...tell them to ASK Your husband.
     
  9. gjaya

    gjaya Silver IL'ite

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    Congrats on your brother's marriage, Akruti. You really do not have to plead or beg your in-laws or anyone as a matter of fact, for allowing you to attend the marriage. That's ridiculous. What I suggest is sweetly inform your hubby that the marriage is fixed on such and such date and it would be nice if we both attend it. Let's see what he says, if he doesn't want to attend then you can say oh okay, but I would like to attend and if doctor gives a green signal, you will make the trip. That's the end of discussion.

    Your in-laws can really do what they want to do, shout, yell, throw tantrums really you shouldn't care what the heck they would do, you discussed with hubby and that's it. I really hope your hubby doesn't say NO. I hope he is mature enough to understand what your wishes are at this time. He really needs to step up here.
     
  10. nishatw

    nishatw Senior IL'ite

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    Well akruti, i think you are not right in this. Because being 5 months pregnant now u will be 7 months pregnant in December and u are thinking of a long journey. I wonder ur parents didn't think abt your presence for ur brother's wedding. They could have waited for sometime right? I dnt think it's advisable to travel in the last few months of pregnancy. My doctor has advised me to travel to my home town for delivery in the mid of 8th month even though it's a short journey of just one night in train. And u r thinking of coming to india from Us in 7th month and going back too! i don't think u have any concern for ur baby.
     

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