Let them worry about their own problems. Whatever good may be your intentions, no one appreciate unwanted advice. If your brother can get a job by his merit ,he can manage his finance too. He dont have to inform about his savings or retirement plan to you. If you don't want to spoil your relationship with brother and family, stay away from involving too much into their life . Let them own it. Your over anxiety is not good for anyone. I feel that they have lot of patience. Let them learn and be independent in their own ways. But if they need help and ask for it, and if you can help them, they will appreciate it for sure. But lower your expectations. We can't predict how people take our suggestions or follow it. It's their choice.