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Anger

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by mathangikkumar, Mar 29, 2011.

  1. mathangikkumar

    mathangikkumar Platinum IL'ite

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    Always Negative Generated Ego Rules ---- ANGER


    Anger is one of the worst forms of expressions. It harms the one who gets angry than the angered. He is the first victim by generating anger, who loses total control of himself and his emotions at that time overrules his sense.

    Why do people get angry in the first place? There are so many inside and outside factors which trigger anger. When something not of their wish / choice, undesirable happenings occur, without rime or reason one gets annoyed, or the effect of previous incident makes one angry.

    It could be one has to face humiliation, face obstacle, insults, become a scape goat and thus become a victim of anger. Some think they have every right to get angry, but do not think so of others. Is it that they are privileged to do so? It is really impossible to control anger, but it is possible to get angry, however the degree can be minimal.


    The opponent has no control over the other one’s anger, the best one can do is to avoid confrontation and do not respond. If you can’t change people’s attitude, either you change or take it as it is.

    To overcome anger, in the first place, one needs to find out the reason for getting angry within oneself. Ask some questions like is it necessary and am I going to get the desired result, is the situation going to improve in what way.

    The best method is once you know that you are sensing the danger of anger try to put off your actions or words for a few minutes, divert your mind from the trigger, remain calm and cool.

    The more important thing is to introspect one’s action after getting angry. This is very essential for one’s future. Act in haste, repent in leisure goes the saying and there is no use in crying over spilt milk! Surprisingly one can find out that one could have very well avoided the show -down.

    There is always a solution and the best thing is to explain calmly and with patience to the other person and who knows one can be the Example for overcoming anger! Free yourself from this MAD ANGER.


     
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  2. Arunadhri

    Arunadhri Bronze IL'ite

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  3. DNM

    DNM Silver IL'ite

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    As I see it there is a major difference between Getting angry and Showing anger. The former means the emotion has taken the driver seat and has complete control. The latter means a person is themselves but expressing an emotion only. Anger can be used as a tool to get across a point - in disciplining children, in business etc. It has to be used carefully and within its limitations. My problems has always been that I stop being me and become 'angry'; this person does not care about other's feelings; this person has only one goal to get the burning energy out. I want to stay me and not be 'angry'.

    Here is an interesting thread where peeps including me actually have worked on anger management using accountability:

    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/community-chit-chat/121526-track-your-anger-control-progress.html
     
  4. Siat

    Siat Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks Arunadhri for Your post and Your link.
    I thought the same.
    Guessing it´s a fine line between anger who IS, indeed, warrantable and who isn´t, I like to mention that anger could not only be a benefit, he´s also some kind of source for - in the broadest sense- surviving, like aggressivity.
     
  5. mathangikkumar

    mathangikkumar Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks Arunadri
    for the wonderful link on Anger
     
  6. ptamil2007

    ptamil2007 Gold IL'ite

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    Nice thread

    emotion like Anger is directly related to physical trouble like High blood pressure
     
  7. Arunadhri

    Arunadhri Bronze IL'ite

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    Negatives come usually when the ego of the one getting angry is hurt. The trouble is that such anger makes one blind and lash out in all directions. Such anger can cause severe acidity - there is an English expression, the bile rises - which can play havoc. A famous British lawyer once said,' the witness who makes me really angry is going to kill me'. He did die of apoplexy in the court precisely because that happened.

    Ultimately, as you say, it is the one getting angry that is hurt most.

    Arunadhri
     
  8. Aspire

    Aspire Gold IL'ite

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    Good post.

    All anger is, at its core, a dark and cruel wish for harm to come upon the person who hurt you.

    Anger is usually a reaction to some sort of hurt or insult.

    Anger does not even have to be experienced as the strong emotion of rage, it can just as well be a thought or a wish to hurt someone.

    But yet for us humans, anger is a fact of life and is natural a commonly occurring social reaction to hurt and insult and though being natural does not make it good for us.

    Managing ones emotions helps to respond better to hurt and insult and managing anger.
     
  9. Siat

    Siat Senior IL'ite

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    Hi friends,
    I´m absolutly not a friend of black and white thinking.
    Up to a certain point I´m absolutly with You.
    But on the other hand I like to mention, that anger is necessary in some situations, like aggression.
    A woman who doesn´t get angry if some stranger is touching her inappropriately will not fight against it!
    A mother/father who´s watching her/his brother/husband/whatever relative abusing her child will let it happen again and again and again, if she hasn´t guts to stand up and fight for her child. At this point, You need anger too.
    If You were abused and You didn´t get angry, You will getting really sick, `cause if You don´t undergo these process in a adequate manner, You will never ever find inner peace and some kind of forgiveness. You have to allow yourself getting angry. It´s part of healing, especially when You were a kid and hasn´t any possibilties to show Your anger.

    Sure, anger and hurted feelings/insultings etc. have some direct connection.
    But I´m absolutly disagree (out of a psychological view) with, that anger always is bad and would only lead to emotional hurtings of the one who´s angry.
    Sometimes it´s a part of healing.

    PS:
    I hope I wasn´t getting rude, it was not my intention :)
    For the most time of my life anybody was telling me "Never get angry, it´s bad, it´s cruel, it´s evil..."
    but with in time when I was supressing anger... It was the terriblest time of my life. I got sick, `cause I didn´t allow me to get angry and express it in an adequate manner.
    Only when I went to an therapist, who helped me to get in touch with my manner and express it... I found my inner freedom and a way to forgiveness.

    Like I said:
    I´m absolutly on Your side, that anger can be really bad and lead people to things they will be sorry one day, but there isn´t black and white.
    There are always two sides to every question.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2011

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