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And I decided to Talk it Out!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by anukarsha, Jun 7, 2010.

  1. anukarsha

    anukarsha Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Friends!
    This is yet another incident of my life; I would like to share with you all. Yesterday, I had a great morning. In the evening, a friend came over. This one is so full of negativity that I generally like to avoid meeting. But she insisted to meet so I had to invite her home. She radiates only negativity, through her action, thought and behavior. She reacts very fast to everything. She is very good at forming opinions and then saying, “Oh!, I thought it is like that!” and all. I never like this nature of hers. Sometimes in a subtle tone I tried to tell her to change a bit but no avail. Yesterday when she came, she reacted as usual in a very negative and frustrated tone.
    Friends; all those who’ve been following my posts regularly are well aware of the fact that I am a total no-nonsense person. Neither I like to spread negativity nor do I tolerate any nonsense. I always believed that instead of fuming inside one should talk things out. So I did the same thing. Since, she was my guest; I didn’t bother her much then. She could have felt insulted sort of.
    I decided to call her in the morning. The only motive behind doing so was to tell her that dear, I care for you and I wanna tell you that this is not the right way to put forward your thoughts. I wanted to tell her that you are not always supposed to judge things; sometimes you may just enjoy things the way they are; not to make a hurried opinion about a person, thing or an incident. Everything needs some time to unfold itself. Life is not about cribbing about this and that; one should always learn to enjoy at the fullest.
    I just wanna tell her that even if you have to say something negative about somebody or you wanna correct someone, there are different ways of doing so. It’s not necessary that you have to blast or shout every time to make yourself heard. Silence speaks more than words. And saying something in a subtle tone has a charm of its own.
    Friends; did I do the right thing in talking out to her or not? Please do send your insights.
    Cheers J
     
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  2. Sobhi

    Sobhi Senior IL'ite

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    Hello Anukarsha

    Yes you have done the right thing. Me too similar like you. ( Dont take any nonsense)

    But I dont adopt this way of speaking it out with my inlaws family.
    They are very introverts and get offended very easily.

    So few things i keep within myself and it sometimes causes lot of mental disturbance.

    regards
    Shobha
     
  3. anukarsha

    anukarsha Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks dear shobha for your reply.yes,many a times we have to keep things to ourselves only especially when the issue is a bit volatile.thanks dear.cheers-anu:)
     
  4. Prettina

    Prettina Gold IL'ite

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    Yes anu....
    I would second your thoughts...
    You didnot offend her...You made her aware...Its just like an alert....
    She should sense this kind of negative thoughts and change herself..
    Or else she will be into big trouble later..Good that you gave her the alert....I remember a friend of mine she also does this way..that irritates me a lot...I think so your friend is deeply affected in mind by some bad happening which I think is making her guess wrong views about others..
    try to analyse or basically she may be a wrong judge..
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2010
  5. ssv

    ssv New IL'ite

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    hi anu,

    good thing u have done, its better to talk & correct your friend, i have done this to my friends & my sis-in-law who is very younger and immature, after i spoke to her she is now better.

    keep it up, well done.

    :rotfl
     
  6. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Anu,
    Wonderful thing you have done. You made her realize
    what and how should be done.
    Expressing an opinion on any matter is a way, one of the many ways, to expose oneself to the world and, for that reason, I think it's worth paying a bit of attention to the way we express what we think.I believe constructive criticism is worth voicing, the trick is to say nicely (or politely, if you will) something that's not so nice nor easy to say. I think the way to achieve this is by aiming at improving the perceived deficiency that's bothering you, that is, don't just burst forth with the "issue", instead think about how you can contribute to improve it. As humans we each have our own dignity and sensitivities. Surely everyone wants to be respected as a person, and no one wants to be mistreated. The golden rule teaches that if we would like to be respected, then we should respect others in the same way.
    with love
    pad
     
  7. anukarsha

    anukarsha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear prettina! thanks for your feedback.I don't know if she's a bad judge but yes i talked to her because she's my friend and i care for her.cheers-anu:)
     
  8. anukarsha

    anukarsha Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks dear ssv!this is your first feedback to my post.i am very happy for the same.please do keep posting your insights.cheers-anu:)
     
  9. anukarsha

    anukarsha Gold IL'ite

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    Very true padmini ma'm.I also feel that everyone should realize that you should not hurt someone just beacuse your mind was preoccupied.And as a friend, i think i've just performed my duty.regs-anu:)
     
  10. Prettina

    Prettina Gold IL'ite

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    Hi anu,
    now im a bad judge:biglaugh
     

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