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An incident with SIL ,laugh or cry ?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by flowerlady, Oct 31, 2011.

  1. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    I too had the same experience. :)
     
  2. lifeisajourney

    lifeisajourney Silver IL'ite

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    mmmm out of all i remember this one i delivered my first girl and when she was born she was really a healthy baby with 4 kilos of weight and 50 cms in length, i had a emergency ceaser and came home from hospital and with no help me and my DH both managing the newborn, it was really way tooo hectic for us to adjust to the new schedule,i fed the baby and both the baby and father are taking a nap,then came this call from my SIL who kept on saying how she was born and how healthy she was,and the surprise is my newborn was just like her in weight enad everything, and this hammering went on for the next 1 hr,

    i really wonder why i didnt use that button on phone which says disconnect:bonk

    even now when ever she visits us she and her other sister keep on talking about whom my daughter resembles and lol they keep taking turns saying akka she is just like and no no she just resembles you, you remember that so called photo...... this is going on from the past 4 yrsand of course many more years to come:bang
     
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  3. crazymom

    crazymom Gold IL'ite

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    Haha... funny stories.

    My DS was also delivered through emergency c-section and everything went so fast that I was still in shock. I remember DS was in NICU and I had to pump my milk for him. MIL stayed in the room and after I was done, she was like only this much milk! DS will go hungry with this much milk! I thought newborn tummies are pea size, that's why they need to be fed often. At that time her words hurt me a lot, and also she asked me not to take pain medication at the second day of c-section.

    Also she always used to tell how DS looks exactly like DH, when everyone used to tell that he looks like me! I guess she did not want to accept the fact.
     
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  4. SUBHAARCHIE

    SUBHAARCHIE Gold IL'ite

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    I just remember this...She told that her ds will sleep with his mama every night...donno what he is going to do today...i was laughing from inside....unable to show off....
     
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  5. omnam

    omnam Platinum IL'ite

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    Thats so cheap. I am sure she might cried after you people locked yourself in room during wedding night ;-)
     
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  6. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Dealing with SILs , Co-Sisters is an art , if you can are diplomatic and sugarcoat your retorts instead of fuming you can win the war . But easier said than done.
    Whenever my Co-Sis calls on phone she always asks if I am keeping well (?) and I also ask her the same ! What makes her think that I am sickly and have bad health ?:spin
     
  7. pruthvee

    pruthvee Senior IL'ite

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    I read most of comments and I understand one thing that sometimes inlaws can be pain. I am lucky that my inlaws can be good. I wonder to read that comment in which someone mention that her sil cried to sit with her brother on his marriage day. Really strange!! No wonder the bride feels bad about it.... I can also understand how inlaws comments/taunts can be hurtful too. But when I read some posts as quoted below I felt why the poster is feeling bad about it or what humour they find in it I don't understand.... I mean inlaws can be bad at times, but we should also not always overreact about everything. This is what I believe.



    @ flowerlady, Sorry but I would like to ask you that what is wrong if your co-sis asks you if u r keeping well? What is an art in dealing with it? Do u think she ask with some bad intention or u just find her question stupid? Whats wrong in asking that? Isn't that common courtesy with anyone when we meet or call on phone to ask whether they are keeping well or not? Even if I call to anyone or meet in person even I ask anyone if they are fine? or if their health is doing well? That doesn't mean I think they are or should be sick....

    @lifeisajourney, No offence, but why you feel bad what your sil is telling. Why don't you think positively that your sils are giving importance to your baby. So what if they say your dd resembles them. Take pride in it. They are so fond of your dd that they want to think she resembles them. Don't u think u r overreacting. I know you may have other bundle of problem with them but the matter u have mentioned doesn't seem very irritating to me. If ur sils don't look at your dd or don't give any importance to her then think how would u have felt?

    Before marriage I too heard a lot about headache sil and mil and before marriage itself i had lots of notions abt inlaws and also I was telling my mom that I want to marry person who don't have parents. After engagement I was threatened by mil and sil. But my mom taught me that how some girls had notions beforehand and because of notions they look each and every move of inlaws with sucpicion and take each and every word as offense. My mom said this type of girls who have unnecessary bias against inlaws often gives trouble and headache to themselves by doing this. My mom talk to me and explain me that if they are literally being unreasonable stand up for yourself but don't make issue of each and every other thing and don't expect them to be fully positive, nice and flawless ppl because every one has their weakness. She was right. I am newly now married, my hubby loves me. My inlaws are also good but sometimes irritating. But I have learned not to take them seriously as per my mom's teaching. But I respect my inlaws and now friendly with my sil and bil too.
     
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  8. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Pruthvee,
    You should understand that there is a difference between an acquaintance asking about ones well being and someone close asking the same all the time.
    It is over a period of time when all tiny incidents add up to a grand total.Everyone overlooks minor irritants , nobody wants to get irritated anyway and spoil the day.
    We ask acquaintances -How are you ? And get a concise answer as "fine". Nobody downloads detailed complaints , its a courtsey question.
    Its the tone , the double loaded words which irritate.

    In our society the DIL is supposed to tolerate a lot of things including direct and indirect hits at her appearance, family , education etc. A DIL is not supposed to retaliate.
    If an acquaintance said the same things he/she would be dropped like a hot a potato , but we are related thru DH we have to listen with a smile .
    I call this ragging , plain and simple. Since the DIL cannot complain or answer back many SILs, Mils and Co-sis take advantage and dish out caustic comments.

    You are lucky to have nice in-laws.
    Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.
     
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  9. pruthvee

    pruthvee Senior IL'ite

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    yeah u r right, since u have to deal with them maybe you know them better, and only u can understand in what sense she ask u, whether to put u down or to make fun of u. U can better understand, coz its u who is suffering and not me or anyone else. As far as aksing how's ur health, I have always seen in our family even close relative always keep asking to each other, now tht I am married, whenever I call my parents or siblings I ask them hows thr health and they don't have any problem with that. Same thing with comparing a baby, my aunt also say I look like them and I don't think my mom have any prob with that. Infact my mom says my sis's dd is like me and my sis don't see any prob... So when I read ur and justothergirl post I thought what is so bad abt it. But as u said only the wearer knows where shoes pinchs, maybe u r the right ppl to understand ur problem. Also as u mentioned that too many things tht happened since year that all load together sometimes. I agree sometimes we had lots of disagreements and problem with someone in past that those ppl become so unlikely that each and every action of theirs (even sometimes it is not harmful) start seeming as irritating to us. When you dislike a person, u will dislike everything they do. But its not that we are at fault to feel like that, but this dislike obviously arise because of their own past actions. However I just need to say that if we just waste our time in disliking all they do then when we will enjoy our life. So best is ignore or laugh it out, and thts what u r doing by taking their actions as humor and encouraging others to mention their funny experience and enjoy laughing. I like this thread.
     
  10. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Pruthvee for finally understanding my motive in starting this thread.
    How should one feel if SILs discuss DHs good (?) proposals which got nixed ? It gives a feeling of insecurity that one is not good enough and DH could have got a better wife.
    If this conversation gets repeated even after a decade of marriage and kids then it is certainly ridiculous and the SIL is seen as pathetic person.
    I narrated this incident to my sis and we had a good laugh !

    Might as well laugh it away and wait for the next bullet !! :rotfl
     

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