Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by deepideepi, Jan 10, 2015.
And you could still forgive them, and did not even complain??
what your in laws did was height of insensitivity towards humanity....it should not be done by a human being to another human being....let alone the people who are your own....and these people are the so called family of dil...
even a strangers who is good human being will not drop a pregnant women in labour pain on highway....even they will take pain to drop the lady to hospital....
this issue will bother anybody....i can understand you are still in kind of thoughts that because you are the dil you are having responsibility for your pils etc etc....
you should understand one thing that for them your utmost need will take back seat for their small pleasures....you biggest need, biggest trouble, biggest gain, biggest loss nothing matter to them...
so whatever are the conditions you have to put yours n n your daughters interest in your mind first and act accordingly as nobody else will do that....dont even depend on your husband too....i know they are not bad at heart but they feel too much pressure of soceity so many a times they gets confused between right n wrong and take sides with their parents....
regarding their seva and your responsibilty to PILs do what your heart says....if you feel peaceful in fulfilling your responsibilities ...go ahead...otherwise your PILs has lost all their rights which they have from DIL.....
Never worry about that you will be blamed...who wants to put blame they will do it anyways...at least dont compromise on your health or ur DD health for sake of blame....if there are health related issues you will have to face the trouble ....your in laws will not come to help you....
You are not overreacting ..they were insensitive to drag a fully pregnant lady to an outing ...and leave you in the highway .. They should known better.
also dragging small child to crowded places is a big no no .
you just need to be more assertive and be firm and communicate NO in situations you are uncomfortable . If they cancel their plans because of your 'no' it is their decision .don't bend backwards.
DEar Dipti...Feel really bad for you.....but you need to learn from this .
You need to put your foot down when you or your daughter's needs are not being given any weight age. Learn to calmly put your point across.....like "I am not well and I know that only I will have to look at my interests"....or "I have to rest because I have learnt that if I don't care about myself...no one else will.
If I were you ...I would not forget the incidence. Someday if things are tough...you may need to remind them that 'they left you in labour in the middle of the road'.Also don't let mil direct your life...what does she know?With all her gyan...she couldn't tell that a woman was in labor.
Your in laws have to be one of the most insensitive ones I have read on this forum.
Lolss.....she tried to 'fix' the labour pain with an oil massage on the tummy!! Even a teenage girl would have known better.
My MIL has 6 children. Five daughters and one son(my hubby). So i had very confident on her that she will understand my pain. That was my first pregnancy so i thought that paining was just like that..Actually i believed on them. I thought that if it was labor pain then they would have taken me to hospital.
One day i will definitely ask them about this..when they will be talking about related topic..i want to see their expression and excuses.
How many days u guys took rest after delivery?? Did u do any special thing to get recover from weakness after delivery?
After doing oil massage my MIL said that the baby had come little lower so she massage and replace the baby at right place LOL. She was trying to change my DD's birthday:rotfl
lesson learnt the hard way. bending backwards to accommodate others is only going to hit you hard and when you are in pain no body is going to understand.
the few things that really bother me. when you go through so much, why are you keeping your parents in the darkness. you don't need to complain, but some issues like being left on the highway when you are in labor need to be told, because keeping them in the illusion that you are happy is not going to actually do any good. if they come to know about it, it is going to hurt them bad for not being there for you through such trying times.
However naive your husband is his not being assertive or not stopping the trip, when he knew you are not comfortable, is not right. and don't go about finding excuses,to accept his short comings. you need to talk to him, tell him that right now your kid is your priority and you will not tolerate water from the tap and that the child was not harmed is not an excuse.
Stand up for yourself and your child, and make your husband understand that, you mean business and you are not going to forget any of this soon as they are still haunting you.
I was little immature then. I didn't know about the fact of In laws. I was living in the bubbles. I use to think that if i m good others will also good to me. I didn't realize that time those things actually happened with me. I always took that incident as an strange incident that happened in my life. After delivery i was completely focused on my DD and my health. That incident were in some corner of my mind which i didn't took that seriously till i saw the real face of PIL and SIL. After knowing them i started remembering that incident step by step and i get to the conclusion that they did really bad thing to me.
whaatsmiley And you too believed it ??
(Your MIL knew what was going on, just wanted to see how much you would bend to accomodate them)
BTW, did your obygn never explain to you the signs of labour since you were so far along ??
Anyway, if I were you, I would risk my PILs' displeasure and ensure that my baby (and I) did not suffer.