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AN incident that bother me always !

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by deepideepi, Jan 10, 2015.

  1. deepideepi

    deepideepi Silver IL'ite

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    My husband wanted to cancel the trip but other people was not ready. So my husband said that he will stay with me other people can go for trip but for that also they were not ready. They were ok to leave me alone but doesn't want to live my husband. My husband is a nice guy but he is little inexperienced and he may have thought that his mother and sister are more experienced in this matter.
     
  2. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh WOW!! Nice rules!

    So such rules don't apply for visits to the hospital, especially when the DIL is going for delivery??? Only for pleasure trips the sequence of 'not going' follows?
    They don't mind being someplace else and having fun, while the miserable DIL is suffering in pain, screaming in agony and pushing out a baby??
     
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  3. nb25

    nb25 Gold IL'ite

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    Don't fight. Don't care for them, either. Go about your routine like you would, without them. Do the bare minimum - things you make for your husband and yourself, make it a little extra for ILs too. Talk politely, show you care, but do only as you please.

    Your husband does not find their behavior callous? Let husband do all the sewa he wants. Let your husband know you will not bend over backwards to serve them, beforehand. Give him a heads up before they come, so he can plan to show them around and care for them. Don't argue over this in front of them.
     
  4. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    I am sure he is a nice guy, but I just thought it was inconsiderate of him to ask you to travel long distance especially when you already told him that your stomach was hurting. Well, he had blind faith in his sister and mother which did not turn out as he had expected. JMO.
    Sorry, did not want to hurt you by judging your husband.
     
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  5. docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

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    Let bygones be bygones..but learn your lesson from it. Never expect anything from your in laws. They are only your husband's parents and not yours. So they will always try to give you the Dil treatment. So pls demand the respect you need and ignore anything they do to irritate you. But move on else this I'll feeling will corrode your relationship.
     
  6. abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

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    Inhumanity at it's heights !!!! That's all.
     
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  7. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    i think every girl should fallow this Indus ladies forum specially this forum, before marriage. so they can take precautions in their life.
     
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  8. abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

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    Well then when they drop you in the side of a high way while in labour one will be like "No problem .I totally saw this coming . Here's plan B " :-o
     
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  9. internetmom

    internetmom Silver IL'ite

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    you are not alone dear. I think mnost of us dils get to know the real nature of their ils during the troubled time of pregnancy. Because when you are vulnerable and weak and in real need of help, you know the real face of your 'well wishers'. I my mil came for a couple of months to 'take care' of me and all she could say was that she had to leave her dd for me and that was very very wrong on our part and then left. I almost lost my baby because of the tension at home she created. was hospitalized for two days and she never for once asked me 'how are you feeling?' and then she left.

    but the same mil will come running after the baby is born, and initial days of turmoil with it is over, to establish her rights over him/her.And show that she 'owns' it. This is how most of them are dear. They are infected with this 'all rights no duties' virus it seems. Just can't do anything with these creatures. Sorry for sounding so negative. I am a little down with these things now-a-days.
     
  10. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Can't imagine how selfish your ILs are. I think you should put your foot down hence forth even if it means that your DH doesn't go and they cancel their trip or go alone. Not subject your daughter to any hardship. Be firm and tell them that you can't join them. Say when the plans are being made and not at the last moment. At the last moment, they will force you to come along and you will be blamed if you didn't . But if you tell them during planning, then they can't force you at the last moment. Take care. lesson learned.
     
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