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An important source of conflict between couple, but least often, talked about !

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by indianguy2010, Oct 8, 2011.

  1. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Women and Spatial Skills:-

    The wife and her man are going on a bike or car. The destination is around a few km away. The wife suggests a road taking off the main road, by which they are going, as the short-cut to the destination. The husband gets angry, wondering, “how can you suggest this road as the short-cut to our destination. It will take you to a different direction !”. The wife says, “I think, this landmark, ‘Mcdowel’ , I saw last time, in that short cut road, that is why I suggested”. The man goes on, “That is another ‘Mcdowel’, not this one, every big street has a Mcdowel outlet. If you can not imagine the roads map in your mind, why can you keep quiet ? ”

    The wife thinks, she is a loser, because, she is not able to imagine a map of the roads, despite her best efforts.

    Is it true, that women are poor in the act of imagining roads’ lay-out in the imaginary plane of the mind, as it is a ‘spatial skill’ ? As 'spatial skill' is a testosterone driven function (one of the functions of testosterone unrelated to sex), do men (due to their high testosterone) have an upper hand, than women, in ‘spatial skills’ ? Is it also true, women are poor in reverse parking of cars for this reason ?

    If women are poor in ‘spatial skills’, then, how cum there are so many lady car drivers on the road………& lady commercial pilots and there are so many lady fighter aircrafts’ pilots ?


    Has there been any conflicts in your life, as a result of your inability to imagine a lay-out or map of streets of a location, you visited in the past ? Try to recollect...........Let us have a debate on it and analyse the truth behind 'women and spatial skills'.....and how this important gender difference can lead to sometimes very bitter conflicts !
     
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  2. mikku

    mikku Gold IL'ite

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    I am new to driving, so can totally relate to it. I should say, I have played the role of a navigator quite well in the past, hubby hesitates to acknowledge it though :). With regard to 'spatial skills', in terms of taking the car out of parking lot (reversing) is bit of a challenge to me when compared to driving on the roads, so I admit that my 'spatial skills' so far aren't that commendable, but I am pretty sure it will get better with time. I am on the fence, if this is applicable to the entire female gender as such...well, will leave it to the judgement of other 'experienced'( in terms of driving) ladies...
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2011
  3. anonymou

    anonymou Silver IL'ite

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    I think it has to do with pratice and stuff. Boys, specially in Indian context, start independently driving a bike and all also wandering about in city and hence also develop the skill of remembering the roads and routes. Women, tend to spend greater part of time inside home in general, so we get the perception that women have lesser spatial skills. Once we have this perception, it becomes more 'manly' to know and remember routes and driving, and then the conflict follows.
     
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  4. mansimahi

    mansimahi Gold IL'ite

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    This reminds me of a joke
    Q : Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
    A : They don't stop and ask for directions. :))

    It is true that men not only dont stop to ask for directions but also content to go round and round cluelessly and finally come to the correct destination by "fluke" and then they look at us as if they knew exactly where they were going all along and what would a mere woman know abt directions anyway :)

    Let me first confess...i am one of those geographically challenged woman....my family thinks I cannot navigate back to the hall from the kitchen or any other part of the 2BR house :) I can never remember the routes, roads etc., and if i dont know the way i dont hesitate to ask for directions... I hv been the butt of jokes for many years now...although i am good at other supposedly "male" activities like toying with electronics, video games, science, maths, tech/electrical/mechanical stuff etc. and i dont like cooking and other housekeeping activities that are supposedly "female" activities.

    The male species may like to think that spatial thinking and awareness is their exclusive gift from God, however both the genders have it but men have eons of practice honing it. Anthropologically if we see, the cave men needed to know the directions to bring the food back home to feed the family for their survival while the women stayed at the cave taking care of the children. (I am sure men werent perfect back then...they must have missed finding their way back home a lot of times.). It is only recently that women too have stepped out and are finding their way around the world...so it is only natural that it would take a little more time.

    Also this kind of stereotyping has something to do with cultural / social background also. Boys and girls from a very young age get drummed into their head that some things are a "mans job" or a "womans job" and each gender is seldom encouraged to try to do the other work. Girls are brought up to play with barbie dolls and boys with mechanical toys...and their roles get entrenched in their minds at a very young age.

    It is true that women are under-represented in the fields that require spatial skills like those you mention. I think a lot of women start from a disadvantage having to venture into something that is recognised and accepted as a man's job and then having to prove that they are as good as men if not better. Encouragement from an early age to develop the skills and boosting confidence to execute these skills will make more women enter the male dominated fields and hv an equal opportunity to display their spatial skills.

    Thankfully,unlike me, both my daughters though young...are good at knowing and remembering the road lay-outs and routes even if they have just gone to the place once...so i can definitely say that spatial awareness is not exclusively male domain.
     
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  5. zipzipzoomzoom

    zipzipzoomzoom Gold IL'ite

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    You certainly come up with interesting discussions. And, you somehow inject humor. You must be a comedian (perhaps as a hobby).

    Men and women are different.

    Men are evolved to have better spatial skills because 200,000 when we were living in caves, men went out to hunt, and had to find their way back home.

    Women stayed around the cave, and they picked fruit and flowers. They had to determine the ripeness based on color. Why do you suppose women are so color conscious. One shade of pink is completely different from another shade of pink. Especially when shopping for saris and bangles to match.

    I am bad at learning directions. When I had to drive, I had to memorize the directions PLUS use navigation system PLUS have cell phone PLUS be a member of AAA.

    Men and women should understand and embrace each other's differences, and work together as a TEAM.
     
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  6. LopaNayak

    LopaNayak New IL'ite

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    This is quite contradictory to what I have seen and felt. I feel women are far superior as regards to roads and directions. The reason being, men always like to drive and the wife has to sit "aramse" :) As you watch roads pass by, you notice stores and shops and start remembering them as shopping is every gals biggest weakness. That's how I grew up. I would navigate my dad too while making day long road trips.. Whenever, we have to go somewhere, I remember the roads.. and if my hubby is driving alone..chances are I am getting a call soon.. He is so focussed on the road, especially with the over crowded speeding freeways.. no big deal about spatial skills being a guy's thing, I feel!!
     
  7. jennysrik

    jennysrik Gold IL'ite

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    Well! I was in Chennai for almost 19 years..Let me list out the places I know in Chennai..Mylapore - because there are several shops and I attended tuition classes..Triplicane - My mom's place..T.nagar - again shops and music classes..Royapettah - School...Nungambakkam - College and mom-in-law's place...Would you believe if I tell you that I don't know any other place in the whole of chennai other than this? Also, either I go with friends in their two wheelers or catchan auto..In thw whole period was in Chennai, the number of days I travelled by bus put together in years would be 4 years! because the bus direction and stops are severly confusing for me. Well, even by auto or two wheeler I was never sure of the direction.

    Again, in US..my husband and I used to go to several places and also for long drives. It was quite tough for me to learn the basic road rules initially. But then for almost all the places, I used to write out directions using google maps and direct my husband when he is driving. My husband thought that it is a good ting not to have the GPS system so that I can learn the directions. But I never did...I am currently practising driving. So, follow my DH's orders as I don't know where to turn!. As I started to observe when he drives, he asks me certain directions to test me..but never was able to answer. There were several moments when this has resulted in arguments...even now it does but I guess he has accepted the fact that I am dumb to remember the directions..Not that I din't want to remember. I listen to him carefully when he tells me the correct direction..see the list in google maps...but its totally strange why I am not able to remember it? through out the years, what I have observed is, when I go to a place repeatedly, I might remember a little bit..In fact, trying to remember simple directions is one of wishes in my wish list..my second latest post in my blog! at least I remembered to include that :p
     
  8. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, Mikku, as of now, available scientific evidence suggests that it (lack of 'spatial skills' ) is applicable to the entire female gender. Now you are feeling releived that you are not alone in the so-called 'deficit' you felt while driving....:)
    It is not actually a 'deficit'. We will see, in the course of this thread, how Evolution has designed Men and Women for different functions.

    I am saying this fully aware of the possibility of earning the wrath of those members who believe that 'gender stereotypes' do not exist.
     
  9. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Anonymou,

    thanks for expressing your views. Your view is, 'spatial skill' is just a skill, which can , after all, be mastered with repetition and skill.

    Certainly there is no denial of it. That is why we see so many skilled lady car drivers on road. And we see even lady fighter jet pilots also. Driving a fighter jet needs extr-ordinary spatial skill. So, these lady fighter jet pilots must have worked hard to develop their 'spatial skills', to bring it on par with men or even to excell men. Yes, what you expressed is certainly possible.

    But what I am talking about it is.......Biologically, women are comparatively weak in 'spatial skills', due to their less testosterone. You , by this time, know, that testosterone is responsible for the tough muscles of men. When adolescent children your family grew up, you see girls getting tall, developing soft muscles and boys getting tough muscles. Your family elders would say it is all due to 'hormones'. Yes, boys have twenty times more testosterone than girls.

    Now, our knowledge of testosterone has improved in the last five years. We all know testosterone is a hormone which mediates sexual urge in both genders. But, here we are talking about a function of testosterone, totally unrelated to sexual urge.

    The way boys' muscles are made tough by their testosterone, their 'spatial skills' are also toned by testosterone. Hence, boys have an advantage over girls in 'spatial skills'. I am not trying to say, which gender is 'superior'. I am just trying to explain boys and girls are different............men and women are 'different'.........just 'different'.............NOT BETTER OR WORSE............!
     
  10. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Reply to Mansi

    (portions of your post are quoted brown followed by my comments).

    Let me first confess...i am one of those geographically challenged woman....my family thinks I cannot navigate back to the hall from the kitchen or any other part of the 2BR house :) I can never remember the routes, roads etc.,

    Thanks for that candid admission, Mansi. As this thread goes on and on, you will realise that you are not alone and also the reality that it is none of your fault.

    The male species may like to think that spatial thinking and awareness is their exclusive gift from God, however both the genders have it but men have eons of practice honing it. Anthropologically if we see, the cave men needed to know the directions to bring the food back home to feed the family for their survival while the women stayed at the cave taking care of the children. (I am sure men werent perfect back then...they must have missed finding their way back home a lot of times.).

    That is perfect logic:). Millions of years of evolution developed the male brains' spatial skills. Surely, as you said, men were hunters and women were gatherers and home makers for millions of years, which is the reason why Natural Selection has favoured the fine tuning of 'spatial skills' in men. Similarly there are areas, where women have developed skills more than men. ( I have plans of separate threads for that , at a later stage).

    Encouragement from an early age to develop the skills and boosting confidence to execute these skills will make more women enter the male dominated fields and hv an equal opportunity to display their spatial skills.....so i can definitely say that spatial awareness is not exclusively male domain

    Refer to my reply to Anonymiu. This is exactly we have already touched upon. Training and perseverance can develop any skill in any gender.
     

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