An appalling crisis!

Sri Sir,

A good narration indeed. May be he was one of a kind dad who thought way out of the box ! -like what if he had to spend more for her education, higher education, find a matching groom or what if she finds one for herself later?.. and all sorts that are happening in todays world, but might be least applicable to her.

I was an average student which is not bad according to me, because that was my capacity and my parents found it too hard to accept. I was talented otherwise but i was too scared to let them know my interests, was under complete pressure to appease them.

Well, I'm in a decent job today and raising a family. My mom was here for a vacation recfently, though her ego let her appreciate me, she defenitely is proud that I am better person than she thought i would be.!!..

-Shilpa

 

Dear AC,
It is a case of
Chee chee intha pazam pulikkum !
Understandable!! Without having a daughters, some things are "unfathomable" for you ! I am planning to punish you with oats adai & oats poli !!:drool
Ms Sri was raving about my mueseli. To love these healthy diets, needs a "refined" taste - not everybody has it !!
Love,
Chithra.

 

Dear AC, Cheeniya sir & Chittu mami,

Sorry to come inbetween you three ! But seeing the exchanges going on I could not control myself for penning my fb.

I am always thankful to GOD for liking me vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvmuch as I am doubly blessed. I have checked with lot of parents having son-daughter combination and only son, they all have expressed their desire to exchange the position with me.
Taking my example itself, I have been more as a son & daughter to my parents and they also knew that I am always there for them (anytime) but the same confidence they could never repose on my brother. Now I am married to a only son with 2 sisters but mil prefers daughters more than son (maybe after marriage) without any fault of mine.



Hence i always feel daughters are more attached to their parents that too especially after the child birth when they realise the amount of pain their mother would have undergone to bring them into this world. But sons do not have that experience.........

I totally agree with sri sir.

 

Dear cheeniya sir,
as i was reading i thought the problem might be beacuse the girl had scored less marks.Because 92% is still on the lower side in recent days on account of heavy competition.But really sad that they could not afford to join.while many parents wanted their son/daughter to choose only professional course so as bring their child an ostentatious candidate one side,the other side goes pity.Reservations for forward community is an unpleasant side effect.I am sorry to say my view on this.Though many may have controversial idea to what i am saying.In olden days there was a myth that only forward community students can cope up with studies.But it is not like that now.More than FC's the other one is performing good.I truly agree to this(though i belong to fc and i have gone through all situations).Then why this reservations?Though i know that we can do nothing on this,still i am expressing my opinion on this.
While there are many engineering colleges for every ten kilometres on the road still many strive to fetch a seat the reason being money.So sad even the deserving candidates loose the opportunity.There is no value for merit........


Thanks for sharing
BC

 

Dear Sri,

Probably this is the first time i am replying to any of your posts. I think this is an apt topic at the apt time.

From all the fbs i feel that we are straying away from the real point that you meant to stress here i.e education becoming very expensive If i am right this is what you were aiming to get across. Here i would like to discuss some different views and steps to be taken by parents and children to facilitate smooth education.

Instead of elaborating i will just give pointers.

Today i see that time and finance is poorly managed by people at large. Whatever be the income if finance is managed well i am sure education should not be a problem. Specially for middle & upper middle baracket.

- start finance planning as soon as you have a child, maybe put aside a definite amt. every month...be it just Rs. 50/-
- allow the child to make decisions...or rather always have family discussion....the kids feel important and have a sense of belonging...also it helps to bond.
- never let down a family member in front of others...but make them understand what is right and what is wrong.
- after a certain age encourage the kids to take up summer jobs...or pursue their hobbies....also give them breathing space. This will also make them understand the importance of money.
- if they are good at any other skills other than being an engg. or DR. do encourage it...don't think any job is menial....we never know when there is a demand for what.
skills like: arts, crafts, designing, cooking, bakery, beautician etc. etc.
- go for vocational guidance...if the kid is unsure of which field to go.
- parents also need to learn the art of savings.

I have more...but maybe later.

Whatever i write is my personal experience...and many of these tips have helped various people in different ways....with education becoming so expensive but also being an integral part of our life...we need to take it seriously right from start.

Just yesterday on our drive from mumbai to pune...the 3 hours we spent on various topics and one of them was...a few years down the line we will have wedding coming up in the immediate family and how do we go about all the expenses that we will have to incur as mama, mausi etc....today we may feel that why bother now we'll see when the time comes...but today if i can afford, i would definitely like to put aside that amt. and not worry when the time comes as today mayb i can afford...but who knows about tomorrow, so it is always good to have a contingency plan. From what i have seen of life...we always have acycle of up n down once in a lifetime....there are very few who have never seen any down in life.

- so first we listed the no. of kids
- then the type of expenses that we will have to incur and the approx amt.
- min. how many years to go for the occasion
- divide the exp. by the no. of years..so we know how much we need to put aside every year.

I know very few people do this exercise...but if they do i am sure half the tension is gone.

Shanti, i also liked ypur idea of helping students who are bright...but coming from the lower strata of the society and hence cannot afford to pursue their education....i too have done that...but we also keep a strict vigil on their progress. Also, sometimes if possible we try and get jobs for these kids...so they can fund their own education and also gain experience. We tell the mothers...(as the 2 girls whom i have helped with a job don't have fathers...its only mother and daughter) during weekends let the girls go out with friends and enjoy. And the girls...we tell them see how much your mother is slogging to educate you and be a good person...so don't forget all this.

Just my My 2cents.

Warm regards
Roopa.

 

After a lon...g time I happened to read your post. This one was really good!It has given an opportunity for parents with pent up emotions to drain it out here!Yes, coming to think of the plight of those poor parents whose kids are bright but are not able to get into the best of colleges of their choice does churn the heart. Why middle class parents, even upper middle class and the neo- rich who have been unfortunate (?) enough to be born in the so called caste are no better. In fact I would say it is worse. Even if they have the money, it is not enough to fill the bottomless pockets of the politicians/ college authorities. God save our lot!
By the way I loved your signature.