An AD that whacked me......

Dear Shanthi,

I have been going through your thread with bated breath. Because as you all know that I am an advisor at ammas site.

I had done this before, that is advising without being asked for. I have suffered at many hands without understanding , that advising was not a virtue.I had always thought those who ask advise ask us sincerely, so didn't feel bad giving it. But one after the other back bitings, abuses, brickbats, everything came my way. Slowly I understood that advising was not a virtue.

I stopped. After i joined ammas I was feeling some what awkward, will the same thing happen here also. But it didn't, so I went on and on. I have a good name there at present. So now I do not give free advice. I am getting paid for advising
My post has gone too long. I am stopping it for the present.
Love
Latha :wave

 

hi shanthi,

a wonderful topic! u have thrown a light on me on this subject. i like the way you have compiled your thoughts and connected sayings. good.:thumbsup

regards,

vanaja

 

Hi Shanthi,

Can you tell me about which ad you all are talking about? Since I do not get time to watch TV ( not that I like watching TV), I have not seen it.


I was not talking about the brickbats I received from the forum (actually i have not received any from here or at ammas till now), but in real life from friends (I thought they were:bang, poor me) around me.

I get too close to them and then get hurt by their behaviour. Nowadays the lesson that I have learnt is not to expect anything from others, not even good and friendly words.

I am a very sensitive person, maybe that's why I can get into the problem one faces and is able to help them . I am ready to accept brickbats or comments if I do something wrong, sine I also start thinking I needed those.

I started going to the office with my husband and the advice started ( "Intha vayasile ithu thevaiya?? Pesame vittule irukka venduyathu thane?
Avarkitte mudiyaathunnu sollidunga"

I did not ask the person for any advice. I wanted to help my husband with his office work. He called me and I went. I don't know what it has to with them?

I am getting late now
Love
Latha :wave

 

Hi ,

Happy or not happy, for me always duty comes first. I am made like that. I cannot change myself at all, however hard I try.

I had just started learning computers as a hobby, Just to chat with my cousins and friends), I got into Ammas, then IL and now hubby is making me learn everything from sending office mails to managing accounts.

There are many to give you unwanted / unsolicited advice. Maybe they are thinking aloud.:?

Now I am stuck at IL ( I am not going to Ammas till I see a big backlog there). then shoot I 'll be at ammas for some days.

Love
Latha :wave

 

Well Shanti,

If the ad whacked you, your thoughts on giving and recieving advice has whacked a Lot of people here, I see !

I too am quite careful about imparting advice, even when asked. My stint on IL is fairly short (just 2yrs) and very often, I come across touching accounts of fellow IL'ites in trouble. Some even ask for advice quite openly for their very personal problems. Like you say, even if anonymous, a person must have felt crushed before seeking for such support. Some times, I do offer my 'advice' in words and hope and pray it helps to guide someone in the right direction. I often take care to add quite at the beginning that he/she must first seek out someone close to them to help out on such a private matter.
And yes, I do dole out Plenty of advice to my daughters...not always sought or welcomed by them! But that is a whole different story now, is it not ?!!

L, Kamla