An Accountants Tribute To A Man And His Marriage!

varalotti · May 22, 2007

Dear Kamla,
Rajneesh used to say that death is the only phenomenon not yet corrupted by man. After seeing Mr.C, after seeing his tears and hearing his choked words, well, I lost all appetite to live for a while.

Then I had to teach myself. Who am I to think of anything else than doing what has been assigned to me. Death is inevitable. We do not have a choice in that but to live till we die lies within the ambit of our choice. To grieve, to be happy, to be proud, to be humble and be humbled once in a while - life has all of that. So let's live it out till our time's up.

Thanks for the nice, moving words, Kamla.
Love,
sridhar

Malathijagan · May 22, 2007

Dear Sridhar,
This was a touching episode. So I think I have been right when I said, "If at the end of our life when all faculties are failing us we think back of our past and feel whatever we did was the best for all, then there is nothing wrong in sacrificing our little ambitions and egos."
Thank you very much for having posted your episode about your client's sorrowful state which had motivated you to write it earlier than the due date.

Ushakrishnan64 · May 22, 2007

Dear Sridhar,
I am lost for words after reading your experience. How thoughtful of you to share it with us!! Many thanks.
Mr.C reminds me of my father. He is also the same age. When my mother was seriously ill, he was thoroughly shaken up, though he tried not to show his emotions to us.
Similarly, when he was seriously ill and in the ICU, he would tell us..please make sure Amma is ok..did she eat and so on...
Thank god, they both recovered from their illness.
When we celebrated the Sathabishekam (80th Birthday), we had a cultural programme by all the seven grandchildren. The grandchildren announced that this was the B'day gift for the best grandpa in the world..We all stood there smiling ear to ear..but with tears rolling down our eyes...
Sometimes, it is nice to let people know you love them and that too in time!!

Regards
USHA

pavithrasriram · May 22, 2007

hello mr sridhar,
it was really nice of you to share such a nice experience you had, with us.this goes on to show how loving the couple must have been.and mr c has seen his wife from the time she was born and her demise must have really affected him.it was so thoughful of u to say that it was better for her to go and him to stay back.but though men are strong they are so dependent on the wife that they just can't imagine a life without them.
regards
pavithra
love moves the world.......

varalotti · May 23, 2007

Dear Malathi,

Yes, you are right in a way. That is why I referred to this post while replying you for your brilliant observations regarding SHE.

If you take the case of Mr.C and analyse it in detail, you will find that his life or marriage is not perfect. But on the whole I feel it's a life well lived. And a more fulfilling life than those of many celebrities who change spouses at the drop of one's hat.

Thanks for the nice words.
sridhar

varalotti · May 23, 2007

Dear Usha,

Happy and proud to know about you parents. Prouder still to know about the grandchildren's cultural programme. I am sure what you gave to them is the most precious gift, a human is capable of giving. love, time and attention.

Love and romance while we are young is a different story. But there is something specially tender about the love shared by an old couple.

Thanks for shating that with us.
regards,
sridhar

varalotti · May 23, 2007

hello ms pavithra,
thanks for those kind, nice words.
What I said to him is probably the only way of consoling a man who had lost his wife of 64 years.
While women without their men suffer in one way, men without their women do suffer too. Over a period of time the husband and wife develop a kind of mutual dependence and if one of them dies, a part of another also dies. That's world. And we can't escape it.
regards,
sridhar

Vidya24 · May 23, 2007

Varalotti,

It was such a moving piece on marriage, love and living a life together. I liked the way you have narrated the incident without any bells and whistles. A tad plain and that adds lustre to the story and the philosophy behind it. It is nice to read about Mr and Mrs C, and I can very well imagine how Mr C feels left out and lonely surviving his wife. But he had a long wonderful life together with her, how many other couples can have these sweet experieces stored up to be relished in tranquillity?

I like to read accounts on family and marriages. My husband I read the Johnson and Masters account of marriage as a newly wed just for the kick. Read Becker's and Shire Hite's report on family and marriage merely to boost my career. Yours I read and reread and cherish.

Vidya

varalotti · May 23, 2007

Dear Vidya,
Relished your post about mine. Yes it was a sort of defining moment for me. The man said whatever he had to say in a matter of fact tone without adding, bells or whistles. I just recorded what he said and faithfully reproduced it for IL.

Have not had the fortune of reading the great authors you have mentioned. But have seen quite some marriages at close quarters. How they worked and how they failed. My theory about marital relationships is that no theory holds good to capture them. As every person is unique, so is every marriage.

C's words had a deep impact on me.

regards,

Nischel · May 23, 2007

Dear Sri ji,
Having gone through SHE-p4, I moved relly . loss of Life partner is really painfull to any one especially at this age.
Received ur reply by e-mail and noted ur suggestins. u have fecilitated me by giving ur post title in my e-mail itself so that I need not open the
indusladies site and searching for ur post which will take time to reach ur post.This is just like taking me to lords dharsan holding my hand, entered through Vykuntadwaram byepassing the long Q (BY SHORTCUTroute ) to mine
Shrine.
I hope The other parts of SHE are independent separate stories.
I selected my pen name as "NISCHEL". I will let u know afterwards Why I selected this word as pen name. u have not told me How to incorporate this
in place of me. Than Q very much withbest wishes
Sd/sastry