Am I Slipping Into Depression?

@SGBV,

You have been awefully busy with your international engagements for a fairly long period of time. Now that you have taken subatical, your mind is free from professional occupation. Pandemic caused you to feel alone in the absence of busy schedule. I have gone through a similar experience in 2001 when I left my public company job and all associated international travel and started leading home bound life for 2 years before I became busy with my own business. I had similar symptoms such as eating disorder, anxiety, and panic attacks about health, etc.

But I came out of it by practicing the following:

1) Reading a lot of motivational books that kept me going and become extremely spiritual
2) A self-analysis of my own capabilities and potential and how can I keep myself busy planning for future
3) A systematic diet and exercise to drop those eating disorder and sleeplessness
4) Dedicated quality time with family members including setting up a flower arrangement twice a week jointly with spouse
5) Write down a journal of the professional experience I had gone through before 2001
6) Prepare write up about how I addressed business issues through informed decisions
7) Plant the seed in subconscious mind that my continued commitment to work will bring more busy days ahead
8) A lot of volunteering and socializing with fellow community members. This may be hard in pandemic days
9) Have some sound of nature next to my bed to fall asleep quickly
10) Creat a plan to keep myself busy for 10-12 hours a day.

I am sure you will come out of it soon and it is only a temperary phase because you changed gear of life from 4 to 1. All you need to do is to create a momentum to occupy your mind with something interesting. For motivation, please recall your pleasant professional memories and reaffirm in your mind that you remain the same dynamic personality.

Viswa

 

SGBV,

I want to say few things.Actually I was in the same boat like you last month....I used to search in google for each symptom/pain that I get,And get fear that I am getting heart problems l,brain problem depends on the symptom. I always had a feel that I will die leaving my kids alone.,.these thoughts and fear accumulated for long time, adding to my gastric problems.So weekly once I felt bloated,sweating and uneasiness, pain that spreads from shoulder to finger....So 4th week,I was alone at home with my kids and got this problem,to settle down this I started walking out of my house,called my husband and told I have health issue and he rushed to home.... Finally we went to doctor, I explained her everything, even asked her will it be heart problem, the doctor laughed..I knew it was anxiety, doctor also said same, and just took blood test to check my thyroid which was normal too. she also advised me not to watch tv news on Covid and asked to stop googling.

Here are my suggestions to you:

1.Stop googling.I stopped it,even if I get any pain,I don't do it.I take pain balms or tablets or exercises for hand and back pain.

2. Engage more with family members and with kids.Kids need us and our time.

3. When you have a storm of irritating thoughts, change the place/activity that you are doing.

4.Listen to a good music which can make us feel better.

5.Main thing, there are many people like you in same situation, especially in pandemic it is very common to feel like you.Most of my friend and family members are afraid like me.When you find it is common, you will come out easily.

6. I had a different thought recently.Death is common.But feeling afraid about it daily is definitely will not keep it away.Also it is not in our hand. All we can do is be careful, and for any health issue there are lots of medical help.There is one purpose God gave this life,which is definitely not to be afraid on daily basis.We are here to upbring our kids with good morals.

 

7.Heart problem - Exercise and eat healthy.daily exercise of 30 mins is good for heart.

8.meditation good for keeping peace of mind.

9. I came to native for a change.Here I saw my husband's grandma who is 92 year old. I thought when she stays fit at 92 without any diseases,why will I get any disease?And my mother in law at 65,she is running everywhere.Also many other village people who don't use gadjets like us, are happy.They don't search for fever, throat pain in google,they take correct action for each issue.

10.on top of everything, strongly believe that you will live for long and stay with your kids. Everyone is common like us.every one's life is in uncertainty in similar to us.
I would not say I recovered fully, but I am on road of recovery.When I feel strange thoughts, I divert my mind, Also have taken a decision to not to think or imagine negative scenes. If gastric problem and felt bloated,felt discomfort, will take a cup of hot water and walk for 10 mins.Things will settle down.

Hope it helps

 

Stop the sabbatical and start the job.

You have been working and proud of it and then you got married and then came your kids. It was a part of you before everything else came along.Your job gave you oputunities to travel and have good memories while on work. It is a MAJOR part of your confidence, agree or not.

You could manage home while you were away in another country for long streches but you still had the zeal in life.

You are around your family and in your home country) yet you have classic depression symptoms. The ONLY thing missing is your job.
Go back.