Am I overreacting or is my husband a jerk?

Buttercup there are few things that are noticable.

* you both work odd hours in stress full jobs & that itself is stressfull
*you don't live together full time.
That itself is hard on any relationship and then you guys are married for just about a year.

Here is my take on your situation, yes you husband should have looked after you but he didn't well get over it. Move forward from here. DO tell him how the whole situation made you feel & WHAT were you expecting him to do.
Start communicating better-- meaning lay out the expectations & guide him through it. Men( well not all men) don't have natural nuturing/empathy so telling them what to do works.

SO if you are sick & want him to make something for you tell him I am not feeling well so I don't want to eat outside food , can you make something for me.

And remember when they get sick its end of the word but if we are sick Oh its just little cold

 

OMG fighting for a call...grow up..if he is not showing u can care..do same for him next time...as I feel u guys are damn busy BCz of your shift changing job..so be calm...u both are busy with work..
Go out on weekend then talk about all this...

 

SriPriya,
I am not one of those who can always write "sugar laden" responses.

 

Welcome to the world of men( majority of men) who does not know the meaning of empathy. As years goes, you will accept the fact or if u r good enough, you will change him.
Hey, One suggestion, instead of calling and bugging your hubby, just text him. Texting maintains a good rappot between u guys.

 

You have communication issues. Plus you have not been married for long. Cheer up. And try not to worry your dad about your health ...do make it a point to call each other everyday. If he does not call, you call up. I am pretty sure he cares a lot for you...very often men don't know how to show concern or take care of a sick person. Take it easy and keep communicating.

 

Its true that men does not know the meaning of empathy. You both live in different places and work in different shift timings, I don't think its very big problem. Few days back I got cold and severe body aches and my DH knew that in the morning while going to office. And he also knew that i had prepared his b'kfast, lunch like that only.
When he came in the evening I told him i am not feeling very well, can you go and bring some food from outside. He didn't said anything and i was waiting till 8.00 so that he will bring something.
At 8.00 somehow i got up and started preparing food, then he came and started saying little loudly its already 8.00 and you are cooking now, you don't plan anything.
I didn't said anything and gave him food by 8.45. At night while sleeping he remembered that i am not feeling well.
That's what men are.
So don't worry much. send one very nice mail actually what did you expected from him. But I'll tell you don't expect from him that he will remember this next time.

Cheers,
DurgaRaj

 

buttercup how long are you planning to continue this life style staying in different locations , working in different shifts .Please work towards spending time with each other.Make the basic foundation of marriage strong then worry about care and concern.Looks like your DH doesn't feel emotionally connected to you.Work towards moving closer to his job.
GoodLuck
Rohini

 

@buttercup..
i dont think you are expecting too much..when people fall ill ,it is so obvious that they want one helping hand and shoulder to rest and one totake good care of them..it is no wrong to expect little love and care from your loved ones..!dont think too much abt your husband and take good rest and take good care of yourslf..get well soon dear..
hopefully u see a transformation of jerk husband to very good and caring husband next few days...im sure you would..till then keep cool and dont get into arguement which would ruin your day..!

 

agree with eandian - conflicting hours, new marriage and mismatched communication - perfect recipe for misunderstanding.

husband is not a jerk - men are just like that, they do not realize. you are not over reacting - women are just like that, emotional, nurturing and a little lofty expectations. BUT they do change. and so do we! Dont worry.

very short term goal : - recover first and see if you can take a few days off, both of you, spend some time together.

long term goal : - can your husband change to another job that has more normal hours?