Am I obedient wife or not

iyerviji · Sep 21, 2010

Everyone has some plus points and some minus points. You cant expect anyone to be perfect. What we like the other person may not like and we should learn to adjust. Especially there will be lot of differences between husband and wife but still there are couples who love each other.

My husband is a gem of a person, he is always ready to help others , if someone does something wrong he will start shouting wherever he is. We are north pole and south pole but still God has made us husband and wife and we are leading a happy life. I am not boasting myself but from the time we are married I have been always adjusting with him, I have to because he will not listen what I say, he will always say what he is saying is right. So I never argue with him , thats why I feel we are leading a happy life. If he searches in the whole world he wont get an obedient and adjusting wife like me, dont you all agree with me .

Tomorrow is my mother in law's death anniversary. When I was working he always used to help me in the kitchen. But after retirement I do it myself only and dont trouble him. But for death anniversary of my parents in law he only cooks and I assist him. I get so tensed that day because everything should be handy for him, otherwise he will get angry. So I keep everything ready for him. So on that day till everything is over I am tensed.

In our own house on that day besides cooking our sofa cum bed has also to be put out otherwise there wont be place for doing the Shradam. As it is, it is very heavy and two people are required to lift and keep it outside. Sometimes by son comes and sometimes we wait for the Gurka to come and help.

In this house balcony is there so not necessary to keep it outside. I had told him that the maid will come tohelp you then you can put the sofa cum bed in the balcony. But he could not wait for her and on his own put it in the balcony . There were things kept inside but he did not wait for the thing to be removed and I was doing pooja that time. Since I thought he will be doing it only later I had not removed the thambalam etc which is kept in the balcony. Once the sofa is kept there it will be difficult to remove. When I told him I have to remove those, he was saying why you did not do it before. At that time I was doing archana and fast I did it and removed everything.
In some things he is very organised and in somethings he is not.
When the maid came and saw that its already put in the balcony she was saying I told you na I will come and help you, why did he put if he gets catch in the back. I told him he was in a hurry. Then I told him something has to be removed which is kept behind the sofa, he was saying you are etta masam , meaning you are always in a hurry. Now I do not know who is in a hurry.

Anyway friends wish me all the best that tomorrow's function should go on well without me getting any shout from my husband. For him ellu na ennaya irukkanam( mean I should be fast in everything).

Sorry for boring you all, now you decide whether I am an obedient wife or not

parusabari · Sep 21, 2010

Dear Mami,

Yes my dear you are not only an obedient wife but also loving and caring person too.

Some lines did make me smile about comments passed by mama.Here the story is a bit different.........help will be provided only when asked. My better half will be happy if i dont disturb him much with kitchen chores and cleaning work.
Hope you are blessed with a peaceful day everyday.

Love,
Parvathi.

Priya_Mommy · Sep 21, 2010

Mami,
Neverthless to say, You are the best wife for your hubby!!
He is really lucky enough to have you in his life.
I could recollect the memories of our old house in my native during my childhood. Adjusting furniture in balcony and varandah so that our cousins batch played like anything there. Especially during death anniversaries, people tend to shout like anything infact both my mom and dad. Mom would be busy in kitchen with MADI and need to serve food for lot of our family members around 15 easily and nobdoy comes to help her. It was real fun for us as all of our coursins gather there and play like anything till the ritual was over.
Coming to father, he shouts for each and every small thing but more tension to my mom in those days. Infact now too, but place need not be adjusted now.

Raba · Sep 21, 2010

Dear Viji mami.

No doubt you are the best match to uncle.

He is lucky to have such a sweet person as his wife:cheers

Sudha Kailas · Sep 21, 2010

Viji ma, true you are an obedient wife.
Loved your days' snippet !!
Best of luck with the shradham tomorrow !

chitranand · Sep 21, 2010

Dear Vijima,
When I was reading about your DH, I was really wondering. I think we are travelling in the same boat. But the difference is my HB never does anything fast . Not even slow, he keeps postponing things. I always say the same lines "We are north pole and south pole. that is why we are attracted and the life runs smoothly".
But he is very much concerned about me. That is why he didn't want me to work after marriage. He would say that he is lazy in doing things and I don't want to have a hectic life. But my thought was if he is helping me, I could have continued my job. He was so short tempered, so sometimes I used to call him Durvasa. But now after we came to US , he has changed a lot. He is helping me in all my works and even his anger has come down. Even if he gets angry after seeing me he lowers his voice and say it softly. I think my patience has been rewarded.
Sure you are very obedient and I pray that your life would have a good turning point.

Coffeelover · Sep 21, 2010

Viji, I am sure things will go well with your in laws death anniversary.

You are a smart woman. "Obedient Wife" may not be politically right with this generation. But we are all adjust to our spouse one way or other. You don't want him to loose his temper or get muscle pulled etc because you love him a lot. Since you do all other work, he wants to show you that he can take responsibilities sharing the work that day.
My DH is like that. When i don't need help, he will do something that makes me angry. Now i am learning not to say anything. After all we are married for a long time and we know our partners. Enjoy whatever he helps you with.

He may not express his love in words like "I love you" etc, but shows with his actions like that.
Continue to have a great married life. :thumbsup

vaidehi · Sep 21, 2010

Viji Aunty,

Defn you are too obidient and polite..... I can very well understand ur fear, since its the same scene at our house before the shradam. Everytime my mom will be keeping her fingers crossed and praying to all the gods.

Don't worry u will be good tmw and u will be showered with lot of praises from uncle for sure.
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neha1 · Sep 21, 2010

Definitely things will fall in place tommorow - do not worry. Sometimes, there are so many things to do and that makes us get stressed wondering what will happen if something goes wrong!! Also,in your case you are trying to maintain your husband's mood too. Men do get cranky at times:bonk. I always tell my husband that men can only handle one issue at a time,if they find to many issues or tasks to do then they get confused and the wife has to bear the wrath of it:hide: - Please do not take this as my generalization,friends! (It is just the way I put things).
Needless to say, you are a wonderful Wife to your husband. Just relax and the day will go by well. Do update us on your day when you get a chance

abla · Sep 22, 2010

Hello Amma,

I really enjoy all ur threads ...Ive been reading lot of ur posts recently.I go to ur profile and choose "all threads started by IyerViji " he...he...It makes me feel like I am listening to someone I know and is very dear like family .Ur posts are very simple and full of wisdom

Everything will happen ok : ) I will pray that Uncle will be calm and u will have the right presence of mind to do everything needed : )