Am i expecting more from them?

I salute you for all the sacrifices that you have done for your Brother.But that doesnt mean you have to Tag along with him even after his Marriage.

Well in your perception if you feel that your Brother and Father doesnt deserve so much care and Support from you then why do you wanna stay with them?????

Are you not able to digest the Fact that there is a new Girl coming in to your Brother's Life??? I guess you are too possessive about your Brother!!!

B, Please understand that now your Family is only you and your Daughter. So make sure you come out of the Emotional Bonding with yur Brother and Father.

Cheers,
Brahan:thumbsup

 

Bagiya, this is a simple result of over investment into relationships, you're unhappy cos the returns are not as per the emotional/ physical investment of yours.

Also dont feel they're throwing out anyone, I guess they've decided to throw themselves out of your house... dont go another lightyear in your caregiving attitude and leave them in this house.. wake up to reality and be practical with all the relationships.
If the house deeds are clear get a power of attorney from your brother that you're the sole owner of the current property I see that coming as well.

 

B,
Move on,
Don't think I did this I did that.
Now you know. Its better now then never.
First the house you purchased with your name and brother's name but you are the only one paying for it. - Contact the right people and make sure its completely changed to your name before his marriage. If the bank says no. Maybe you need to contact a lawyer to get any paperwork done so your SIL and BRO won't claim it after the loan is paid.

 

Dear friend ,
Even my mom had expired before my marriage and my Father and unmarried brother had to struggle alone for food etc. But I could do nothing much for them . I felt bad cooking nice things for DH and my father , bro eating hotel food or bread.
My brother got married after 4 years and my SIL took over to my relief . I was happy to see life and laughter back in the house .
Your brother is starting a new phase , make it happy for him . All these arguments will spoil the festivities and you will be blamed.
Now live in the present , get the house in your name or consult a lawyer .
Stop berating your brother , let him stay separately after marriage, dont talk about the past. Let go.
There will be many more changes after the wedding so be prepared for that or people will feel that you are jealous of your familys happiness.
If your father stays with you its fine. If you decide to remarry your brother will definitely take up his responsibilities.
But dont expect him to be grateful to you , let him lead his life.
You will be the brides elder SIL , maintain that relationship and earn her respect.

 

Bagiya, my parents passed away many years ago..even before me and my sister were married. I was in Final year of college and my sister was 24. She fell in love and got married to a really nice guy. I continued to live alone in my flat where I was born and raised, before coming to US after a year. I never expected my sister to take me with her in her married house and neither did I expect her to stay with me after marriage. She was there for me and did visit me now and then but I could not demand her to live with me under the same roof.

You cannot have such expectations in life. Consider that whatever you did, you did for your father. Now, your brother is an independant entity. You cannot expect him to take you along wherever he went. His family will be different now and it is only fair for his wife. You did all sacrifices because you wanted to do it and you did it willingly. Your brother is under no obligation. Just let them free and you focus on your life and your daughter. That is your family now.You cannot expect people or family to be there with you forever. You are your best companion.

 

Bagiya,

I just wanted to tell you that be proactive abot the house.You mentioned your house is on your brothers name too.Be clear it out before the marraitge.
New bride doesn't know ABC's of your family.She only taking precautions to make he life happy.
Beleive I too have similar father and brother.My sister who lives in India suffers a lot with these things.Since we are far away we are not affected by these things.
If my father need soemthing,he would call my sister to take care of it but they don't care much when my sister family in need and my brother is also like yours.He changed little bit now but earlier he doens't have any physical responsabilites towards family.
Atleast now you know what is relationship.Please don't be hard on them and let it go.
But this will not stop any way.Because after sometime again you feel it's father.So discuss with your brother and come to some aggrement like father's responsabilites like half half.Whatever you do ,some people can get easily away with responsabilites and some not.
Do whatever you can but don't over stressed.
Main thing is we can't change our personalities and that will be us forever.Sometimes we feel low and sometime we manage.
So don't overdue in the future.I don't say your brother did was perfect.He would have dealt with differently or would look for other match.
May be he wanted to get married and he didn't see other things around him and don't remember the past.

I don't know what is your brother age and may be this time you might be emtionally low.Your brother could wait until you emotionally and physically get settle.Yes that was not a simeple decision to make like that.
He knows,he had a father and you.What was the plan for your father?