He is trying to control you. Dont yield to his demands as he already revealed his true colors. Use the word NO in a cool way. Dont fight or argue. Ask him about his total salary. No court will ask you to provide more than you earn. Estimate your monthly expense ( credit cards, mortgage, other expenses ). If your family ( not include personal expense here) expense is $5000 for example, if he earn 130K and you earn 70 K. You are supposed to provide 70/200=35% ideally as a housemate . So pay only 35% of $5000 per month. Thats the maximum you can pay even if you are a room mate. As a wife there is no fixed numbers if you both agree to it. If he asks you to pay full amount, ask him to give you full access to that account and make it a joint account. If he is not willing, you dont have give any money that way. I mentioned these numbers above to give an idea about it. Its up you to decide whats best for you. We know only your side. He is not treating you as his wife and dont have any relationship like that with you, so be professional and treat him that way as a housemate. But is it good for kids? I suggest you to consult a counsellor( EAP will cover it as you are working ), to prepare yourself if you like to exit or deal with this situation better. Talking to a professional will give clarity on the choices you can make ( I suggested it as its a normal thing in USA and you dont need to tell anyone as its just for your clarity and to empower you. Same way you can consultant an attorney and know the steps involved).