Am I Being Used?

OP, your friend is no doubt using you, she has changed how she interacts with you, and the friendship for her is now mostly a source of information about kid's school notes and projects. You would do well to use the suggestions that have poured in, and similarly tone down how much importance or effort you give to this friendship.

That being said, you are also wondering about the change in this friendship. So, here's some perspective on that. There is a certain "put down" in the way you have described her qualities. People tend to sense such things and cut back on talking etc.

Read the above. It somehow seems like you think less of people who are more talkative and outgoing. Maybe I am wrong, but the "everyone's favorite" and "selected people with whom I can connect" give that sense.

Again, for some reason, it seems like you disapprove or think lowly of people who choose to always be well-groomed and make time for it. The "even for sitting at home" was jarring to read.

This in particular stood out to me. I learned the hard way and after eating lots of humble pie never to judge another parent or their parenting. If a mom is bribing a child, we don't what all she has already tried, how much help or hindrance she has from the father, and above all we don't know why the child is slow in finishing the notes. To be the parent of a child who is slow in anything is tough, tough, tough. "I don't encourage these kinds of habits for my child" -- this sorry to say, holier than thou attitude, must be coming through in your conversations or expressions, and hence the cooling off from her. Just a guess.

Some jealousy and some maybe what I've written above.

You don't see her as an equal to you in wavelength? When we think of someone as not equal to us in wavelength, it is hard to hide that all the time.

I wouldn't assume that her kid is only following mom's attitude. The kids have their own interactions, quarrels and other friendship dynamics that you may not be aware of. If her kid is ignoring your kid, there can be many reasons.

We tend to think of our kid and our parenting as being near perfect until we learn it is not so. : ) I used to think my daughter was the most well-behaved kid at 7 or 8 yrs and I/she received many compliments too from teachers, neighbors and family friends. Then, at a birthday party, she kept going to the books shelf in their house, the birthday mom and other moms tried to tell her to join the other kids in activities, but she kept going back to the books. Soon other kids wanted to read books too. They had hired a magician to entertain the kids so the mom was not happy with this books reading drama. My kid said/parroted something about the importance of books and reading ... Sigh.

It could be both ways. Do you sometimes envy her outgoing nature, the resultant friends circle and her being well-groomed and well-dressed?

There will always be people in our neighborhood, community, relatives, work-place etc with whom we have to maintain a necessary but not deep relationship, and modify that with time. A thicker skin and more practice with elegant shrugging of the shoulders helps. Also, I was wondering why you have to spend so long waiting for transportation? Can that time be cut down? Maybe the moms who live close to each other can take turns in waiting for the kids to arrive. The more enthusiastic moms can take MWF, and T-Th go to the other moms. : )